[typing]
When it comes to post-apocalyptic role-playing games for the PC,
Fallout is pretty much the undisputed go-to game series.
And I don't question that at all
because, hey, it gets me hard.
But go back a little bit further and you'll find that wasn't always the case.
Why? Because Wasteland!
Developed by Interplay Productions and published By Electronic Arts in 1988
for the Apple II, Commodore 64 and IBM-compatible PCs.
This is the PC version here in the typical big box-style retail package,
although it was also released in the older LP sleeve-style gatefold packaging
that EA Games had throughout the '80s.
Hot. Mean. Radioactive.
It's 2087 and war...
War never changes.
And, yes, this is indeed by the creators of the Bard's Tale series,
as well as the 1997 Interplay game Fallout.
Guys like Brian Fargo, Ken St. Andre,
Michael Stackpole and Alan Pavlish worked on this Wasteland game,
which was the game that provided the inspiration, setting, and basic concept for the later Fallout series.
Inside the folding box, you get some more awesome artwork,
showing the developers of the game and other assorted awesomeness
that EA used to do back when they were self-proclaimed electronic artists.
Tucked away in this little Infocom-style tray,
you get the game itself on two double-density 5¼-inch floppy disks,
ads for the official Wasteland clue book and disk format upgrades,
a Command Summary Card – which is not actually a card
and is more of a pamphlet, but whatever, it's useful as nuts –
the manual, which details all the information you need
on how to install, play and understand the game and its bountiful options,
and a booklet called the Wasteland Paragraphs.
This is not only entertaining but is also the game's copy protection,
since there is nothing on the disks stopping you from copying that floppy.
Throughout the game, you're told to look up a numbered paragraph in here,
and seeing as many of these are vital for progressing the story,
it's a must-have if you're looking to enjoy the game
and make it so that you suck just slightly less at it.
Wasteland begins with a title screen,
showing you the 16-color EGA logo,
as well as some credits and a bit of backstory if you wait around long enough.
The story is simple yet significant,
so surely survey its specific sum and substance
till it silently ceases scrolling.
In 1998, global nuclear war broke out.
What, you don't remember that? I do.
Because the United States and the Soviets
had a little disagreement over the Citadel Starstation.
Yeah, this game was made before the Iron Curtain fell, so just roll with it.
Anyway, both the U.S. and the Russians were being giant douche weasels,
and proceeded to nuke the dick out of each other and...
everyone else lost as a result.
But it wasn't complete and total annihilation,
as several pockets of civilization remained.
On of them was a company of U.S. Army engineers in the Southwestern states near Las Vegas.
They stuck together and over the next 89 years became the Desert Rangers,
a group of dudes and dudettes who were proficient in both combat AND nerdy mathematical wisdom.
You start off in their base of operations known as Ranger Center,
and it's up to you to form a party
and investigate some ambiguous disturbances in the nearby desert and beyond.
You're given a party of four to begin with,
although you can recruit up to three more
if you find any willing non-player characters in-game.
The cheekily-named Hell Razor,
Angela Death,
Thrasher and Snake Vargas
are the default rangers,
but chances are you'll just want to roll your own.
Based on the tabletop role-playing games Tunnels & Trolls and
Mercenaries Spies & Private Eyes,
you've got eight stats to work with:
Strength, Intelligence, Luck,
Speed, Agility, Dexterity,
Charisma and Skill Points.
These do all sorts of awesomely geeky role-playey things,
like determining your aim,
dodging, lock-picking, persuasive ability,
hit points, damage dealt, and so on.
You can also choose your gender,
which not only determines how you'll pee,
but determines how certain people treat you,
and if you can enter certain areas.
And you can also choose your nationality,
which has little to no bearing on the gameplay as far as I could tell,
but I get it's cool,
if you want to ham up the cheesy stereotypes for your role.
Then you get to apply some skill points to a plethora of skills,
the number of which is determined by your intelligence.
And you're off!
Tim to do something stupid,
die and be kicked back to DOS.
Yes, this game is a difficult game.
It's a game from another time,
when computer role-playing games didn't always rely on a massive world
filled with a billion and one places to go for content.
But, man, it sure made what it did have count
by making you feel more useless
than a Phillips head screwdriver at a flathead screwdriver convention.
Chances are you'll die off pretty quickly,
because this is absolutely unforgiving
until it bashes you in the head enough times that you learn its quirks, strategies and agendas.
Thankfully, controlling the game from its top-down perspective is quite simple.
While you can use your mouse to move your party around,
it's cumbersome and finicky,
so your best bet is using the keyboard.
And since the rest of the game can be controlled with the keyboard anyway,
you may as well get used to the various commands and shortcuts.
In fact, it even has a built-in macro editor,
which allows you to program sequential key presses and map them to the function keys.
Mmm... built-in laziness.
You just gotta love that.
Besides the controls for movement and resting and such,
you also have the buttons below the status window along the bottom of the screen.
These menus let you use and interact with items and people,
set up encounters,
adjust the order or formation your party moves in,
disband or split up party members,
view separated party members, save your game and quit to DOS,
and radio your superior in order to get a field promotion,
i.e., level up your character.
It's actually pretty self-explanatory.
In fact, I was able to get the hang of the gameplay without having to resort to the manual very much at all,
which is always good in adventure role-playing games like this.
Not to say it's simplistic, though,
but it's designed in such a way that makes logical sense
and actually seems rather ahead of its time in some respects.
Another thing adding to this is the fact that the world is persistent,
and doesn't reset any time during a game session.
That is, you have this big map to explore,
but it's populated by people, creatures and events that change when you do something to them,
and then they stay changed.
They don't reset when you leave.
This may not sound like much nowadays,
but this dynamic aspect goes a long way
in making the world feel that much more alive, malleable and believable.
Then there's the fact that it's just a freakin' awesome place to explore.
Seriously, like the Fallout games that succeeded it,
Wasteland's wasteland is one wonderfully grimy messed up post-apocalyptic playground.
The more you play it, the more menacing,
the more hostile and the more straight up interesting it gets.
From psychotic leather-clad thugs to murderous juvenile punks,
to the disturbing cyborg Chopters,
to blood-thirsty rabid dogs,
to the disgustingly vile Trash Slitherers,
to the killer... bunnies
that look nothing like bunnies but will tear you to shreds in a heartbeat. What the frick?
This game is chock-full of stuff that wants to kill you
and the thing is half the time it'll just pop out of nowhere
unless you're incredibly perceptive.
So just walking around a simple desert town
or through a seemingly empty cave is positively nerve-racking.
There is never a moment's rest,
unless you take a moment to rest,
which you'll need to do in order to restore your health.
Or heal yourself using medical supplies and the appropriate skill.
Or just find a doctor and have them fix you up and take care of the more serious ailments,
like, you know, being comatose and having your face ripped off.
Of course, there are things you can acquire and actions you can take
to prevent exploding like a blood sausage.
Things like finding and buying sweet loot,
providing you better armor and better weapons.
from .45 caliber handguns to SMGs
and rifles, grenades and freakin' laser guns and rocket launchers.
You'll also figure out how to best go about the turn-based combat system,
which relies heavily on the proper mix of attacking,
evading, running, reloading,
using your skills and all that stuff.
And you will be in combat a lot,
and you need a lot of experience to become even half-decent at staying alive.
So the more practice you can get in without dying, the better.
Eventually, you'll run into more focused story and plot elements
that actually get pretty interesting,
but it's surprising just how open-ended the game actually is.
Contemporary CRPGs often had a rather strict plot line to follow,
but not so much here.
It's often just your crew against the awfulness of the desert wastes,
trying to survive and better yourselves,
while gathering all the info you can when you can,
and figuring out people's problems as you come across them.
And I think that's fantastic.
While a more linear campaign can be amazing,
I also really enjoy a game that gives you the tools to do what you want,
while hinting at more
as you dick around on your own morally reprehensible terms.
Yeah, the game is almost unbearably difficult at times,
and even verges on being unfair with how certain enemies will ambush you and keep you cornered.
But in the context of this messed-up world and with how the combat works,
it just makes sense to me and it keeps me highly motivated to keep me playing.
In short, Wasteland is awesome.
And it's now on GOG.com and Steam,
so the rare and expensive physical versions
are no longer obnoxious barriers for entry.
So, if you want a guided role-playing experience with a grand quest line...
this is not it.
But, if you want a gritty, post-apocalyptic world
that lets you bash in heads and reduce radioactive monsters to a thin, red paste,
you'd be hard-pressed to find a better classic computer game than Wasteland.
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