>> STEPHEN: YOU KNOW MY FIRST GUEST AS THE STAR OF ABC'S
"BLACK-ISH."
PLEASE WELCOME, FROM ABC'S "BLACK-ISH," ANTHONY ANDERSON!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )
NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
>> GOOD TO BE BACK.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE A DELIGHT.
THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU A DELIGHTFUL HUSBAND?
WERE YOU GOOD TO YOUR WIFE ON MOTHER'S DAY?
>> NO, I WAS NOT.
>> Stephen: HOUSE OF MOTHER'S DAY FOR YOU?
>> MOTHER'S DAY FOR ME I WAS IN SEAT 7F ON AMERICAN AIRLINES
FLYING HERE JUST SO I COULD BE WITH YOU.
>> Stephen: I GOT YOU IN TROUBLE?
>> YOU GOT ME IN THE DOG HOUSE, BABY.
>BABY.
>> Stephen: SA ALVINA, PLEASE EXCUSE ANTHONY, HE WAS WITH ME.
( LAUGHTER ) >> YEAH, I LOVE THAT.
>> Stephen: I'M SO SORRY ABOUT THAT.
>> NO, THAT'S OKAY.
>> Stephen: DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE DAY WAS HIK LIKE FOR HER?
DID YOU DO ANYTHING NICE FOR YOUR MOTHER?
>> NO, NORMALLY MY MOTHER JUST ASKS FOR MONEY.
THIS YEAR, SHE DID NOT.
SHE CALLED THIS YEAR AND SAID JUST GET ME A ROOM IN VEGAS.
I DIDN'T ASK HER WHAT SHE NEED ADD ROOM FOR OR WHO SHE WAS
GOING TO BE WITH, AIN'T NONE OF MY BUSINESS.
>> Stephen: DOES SHE GO A BUNCH OF FRIENDS?
>> I FOUND OUT SHE DID.
SHE WENT WITH DRUNK BOBBY AND CASSANDRA.
>> Stephen: HOW DID DRUNK BOBBY GET THE NAME DRUNK BOBBY?
>> PUT IT TOGETHER.
( LAUGHTER ) I SENT HER AND MY MOM TO --
>> Stephen: BOBBY'S -- BOBBY'S A WOMAN.
>> Stephen: OH, I DIDN'T KNOW.
YEAH.
I SENT HER AND MY MOM TO ESSENCE FESTIVAL ONE YEAR.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
AND WE JUST HAPPENED TO BE ON THE SAME PLANE FLYING BACK FROM
ESSENCE FESTIVAL, AND BOBBY WAS STILL DRUNK FROM FOUR DAYS
PRIOR.
>> Stephen: YOU'VE GOT TO COME DOWN SLOW OR YOU WILL GET THE
BENDS.
>> SO I AFFECTIONATELY GAVE HER THE NAME DRUNK BOBBY AND IT'S
BEEN WITH HER AND SHE LOVES IT.
( LAUGHTER ) SO DRUNK BOBBY, MY MOMMA AND
CASSANDRA WHO IS MY MOM'S WIG STYLIST.
>> Stephen: THAT'S NICE.
THE THREE OF THEM ARE IN VEGAS AND I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM
THEM FOR FOUR DAYS.
>> Stephen: IS THIS A GOOD THING?
>> I THINK THAT'S A GOOD SIGN.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
I HAVEN'T GOTTEN A CALL ABOUT BAIL MONEY OR EXTRA BING OMANY,
SO I THINK WE'RE GOOD.
>> Stephen: I UNDERSTAND YOU DID SOMETHING FUN THAT I DID
ACTUALLY.
YOU WENT TO A BIG PARTY.
YOU WENT TO THE KENTUCKY DERBY.
>> Stephen: THA.THAT'S IT.
>> Stephen: YOU ARE LOOKING GOOD WITH YOUR WIFE RIGHT THERE.
>> THANK YOU.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: DID YOU ENJOY IT?
I WENT AS A YOUNG MAN WITH NO MONEY AND STAYED ON THE INFIELD
WHERE IT'S ALL, LIKE, BEER MUD.
>> OOOH!
YES, THIS IS MY FOURTH KENTUCKY DERBY.
THE VERY FIRST TIME I WENT I WALKED THROUGH THE INFIELD BY
MISTAKE.
>> Stephen: OMIGOD!
IT'S "LORD OF THE FLIES."
>> IT SMELLS LIKE PUKE IN PORTAPOTTY.
THAT'S WHAT IT IS.
BUT I FOUND OUT PEOPLE BURY THEIR ALCOHOL IN THE GROUND IN
THE INFIELD SO, WHEN THEY COME BACK THE NEXT YEAR, IT'S THERE
AND FERMENTED AND READY FOR THEM TO HAVE FUN WITH.
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T BRING YOUR OWN KOHL INTO CHURCHILL DOWNS OR THE
DERBY, SO THEY BRING IN THEIR BATHTUB LIQUOR.
>> Stephen: DO THEY SNEAK IT IN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?
>> I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY DO IT BUT I TALKED TO THE POLICE
OFFICERS AND THEY SAID, YEAH, THAT'S HOW THEY DO.
BEFORE THE KENTUCKY DERBY, THEY COME IN AND DIG A HOLE AND X
MARKS THE SPOT.
>> Stephen: WOW, THAT IS A REASON TO SEEK HELP.
( LAUGHTER ) >> YES, IT IS.
>> Stephen: I WAS ARRESTED FOR BURYING TREASURE OF ALCOHOL AT
CHURCHILLDOWNS.
DID YOU BET AND WIN?
>> I DID.
IT'S AN INTERESTING STORY.
I HAD BEEN LOSING ALL NIGHT.
RACE TEN COMES UP -- >> Stephen: THERE ARE MULTIPLE
RACES.
>> THERE ARE 15 RACES AT THE KENTUCKY DERBY, I BELIEVE.
SO UP TO RACE 10, I WAS WINLESS, AND, SO, I'M PLACING MY BETS
AFTER -- AT RACE 10, AND THIS LADY IS WALKING AWAY WITH $9,600
IN CASH AND I'M, LIKE, YO, WHAT DO YOU KNOW THAT I DON'T KNOW?
SHE'S, LIKE, YOU KNOW, I JUST BET COLORS, AND IF THE HORSE HAS
A SHINY COAT.
I WAS, LIKE, REALLY?
OKAY.
SHE SAID, I WON $7,000 YESTERDAY AND I JUST WON $9,600.
SO I WATCHED HER GET PAID.
SO I SAID, OKAY, I PLACE MY BETS.
I SIT DOWN AND I SAID, COLORS AND SHINY COATS.
I'M WEARING A BRIGHT YELLOW SUIT --
( LAUGHTER ) -- EXACTLY.
I SAID WHO'S WEARING YELLOW IN THIS RACE?
THERE'S A 30-TO-1 LONG SHOT AND HIS NAME WAS FUNNY SOMETHING,
AND I GO BACK AND I'M TALKING TRASH TO THE LADY MAKING THE BET
AND I PUT $100 ON THIS HORSE IN YELLOW.
I LEAVE.
THE 30-TO-1 ODD SHOT WINS THE RACE!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WINS THE RACE!
ODD SHOT, LONG SHOT.
>> Stephen: THAT'S A LONG GREEN.
>> I'M CUSSING EVERYBODY OUT!
I'M, LIKE, OH, YES, MOTHER -- OH YOU SON OF -- OH, YEAH!
HA HA!
WINNER!
( LAUGHTER ) I GO UP TO THE CAGE TO GET MY
MONEY, AND THE LADY SAYS, OH!
MR. ANDERSON, YOU ONLY PUT $10 ON THAT HORSE.
I SAID, NO, NO, I DIDN'T, I TOLD YOU 100.
SHE SAID, NO, YOU TOLD ME 10.
I SAID, NO, MA'AM, I TOLD YOU $100.
NOTHING I COULD DO.
SHE PAYS ME OUT $642.
IT WAS AN HONEST MISTAKE.
I DISTRACTED HER.
>> Stephen: BY BEING YOU.
BY BEING ME.
SO, YOU KNOW, SHE WAS JUST OFF BY A ZERO, I CAN'T BE MAD AT
HER.
BUT HAD SHE PUT THE $100 IN AND HAD I NOT DISTRACTED HER, I
WOULD HAVE WON $8,600.
>> Stephen: $640 IS NOT BAD.
$642 VERSUS $8,613.
IT'S -- IT'S -- IT'S -- YEAH.
YEAH.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: YOU'RE THE STAR OF
YOUR OWN TV SHOW, MAN.
>> I KNOW, BUT IT WAS BRAGGING RIGHTS AND BRAGGING MONEY!
I WANTED TO HAVE A MONEY SHOWER!
I JUST WANTED TO THROW MONEY AT PEOPLE!
( LAUGHTER ) RICHARD LAWSON AND TINA,
BEYONCE'S MOM, I JUST WANTED TO GO BACK AND THROW MONEY AT
THEM -- HA HA!
( LAUGHTER ) ( PIANO RIFF )
I COULDN'T THROW $642 AT BEYONCE'S MOMMA.
JUST SAYIN'...
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF )
>> Stephen: SO WE HAVE THE SEASON FINALE TOMORROW OF
"BLACKISH."
>> YES.
>> Stephen: SOME OF YOUR FANS ARE A LITTLE UPSET.
>> THEY ARE.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE YOU AND YOUR CHARACTER AND TRACEE ELLIS
ROSS' CHARACTER.
>> ANDREÉ AND BO.
>> Stephen: THEY'RE HAVING MAR AT THE PROBLEMS.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: AND YOU PUT THIS ON INSTAGRAM AND YOUR FANS SAID,
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, SHUT UP, DRE, Y'ALL BETTER STAY TOGETHER
OR I'M FIGHTING EVERYONE, I DON'T CARE, THIS IS WHAT WE NOT
GONNA DO!
I CAN'T DO THIS RIGHT NOW!
THIS IS AN EMOTIONAL BURDEN I DON'T NEED!
I THREW MY PHONE AND CRYING.
YOU NEED TO GIVE PEOPLE STABILITY!
YOU CAN'T HAVE MARITAL PROBLEMS!
PEOPLE COUNT ON SOMETHING TO BE STABLE IN THEIR LIFE ANTHONY
ANDERSON'S "BLACKISH"!
>> IF THEY WATCH TOMORROW, WE'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
I CAN'T GIVE IT AWAY.
IT'S STILL SAD.
( AUDIENCE REACTS ) >> Stephen: OH, ANTHONY
ANDERSON.
>> WHAT?!
53% OF ALL MARRIAGES END IN DIVORCE, MAN!
I DIDN'T MAKE THAT UP!
( AUDIENCE REACTS ) WATCH TOMORROW AND SEE IF I'M IN
THE 53 OR THE 47 PERCENTILE!
>> Stephen: NOW, IF YOU WERE GOING TO LAY ODDS ON THAT --
( LAUGHTER ) ( PIANO RIFF )
>> Stephen: THE SEASON FINALE OF "BLACKISH" AIRS TOMORROW ON
ABC.
ANTHONY ANDERSON, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH GLENDA JACKSON.