Hello fellow friends and philosophers, and welcome back to the most mind-bending channel
on YouTube: Life’s Biggest Questions.
I’m your voice in the void, Keegan Hughes, and we have a brand new, extra-odd SCP video
for you today.
Before we get to the main topic of today’s video, there’s a special message we’d
like to address: Today’s video is sponsored by The Great
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Outstanding, now let’s redirect our focus to SCP-3008.
Have you ever been lost in an IKEA?
Apparently it’s a pretty common occurrence.
Those big, labyrinthian warehouses make it real easy for you to take a wrong turn and
lose your bearings entirely.
The absolute magnitude of these modular furniture stores also make it easy for people to camp
out overnight, as proven by the countless YouTubers who decided to stick around after
dark a few years ago.
It might seem like fun, but if you change a couple factors your trip to IKEA can quickly
accelerate into terrifying territory.
This is especially true when the IKEA is endlessly big, and full of violent, faceless monsters.
Yeah, you came into the store to buy a bedside table and a lamp, and now you’re fighting
for your life using the lamp as a weapon.
Oh boy.
SCP-3008 appears to be a big, abandoned IKEA building.
Nothing too weird about it from the outside, just a blue and yellow warehouse in an empty
car park.
However, once you enter through those front doors, everything changes.
Anyone who strolls through the sliding doors and walked far enough to be out of sight will
be translocated to SCP-3008-1.
Usually the victims won’t notice until they try to leave, and are unable to find the exit.
With no visible walls, and nothing implying that the open space inside will end, this
IKEA might be infinite.
It has all the regular features though, long, winding aisles, different departments populated
with furniture for specific rooms, a cafeteria every once in a while.
You better like Swedish meatballs, because that’s all you’re getting for the foreseeable
future.
Apparently a whole bunch of people have wandered into this furniture store and never found
their way out.
Many have even been present since before the Foundation contained it.
Groups of folks have formed a rudimentary civilization, and created little settlements
to live in.
There are multiple settlements, all spread out over many kilometers within the ever-expanding
Swedish megamart.
These towns help the folks living inside feel more like people again, but they also perform
a more urgent function: they defend against attacking entities.
Designated as instances of 3008-2, these entities are humanoid in shape, but often have exaggerated
and inconsistent bodily proportions.
Anyone who has seen one will describe it as either too short or too tall.
In addition to their weird bodies, these creepy creatures lack a face and organs.
Plus, they’re always wearing the IKEA uniform: yellow shit, blue pants.
Yeesh.
Not exactly the customer service we’re looking for, huh?
Oh no thanks, I’m just browsing for now haha.
Please leave me alone.
3008-1 has a day-night cycle consistent with the opening and closing times of a regular
IKEA.
The lights will flicker on in the morning, and abruptly shut off once its night.
During nighttime, the freakish 3008-2s will become extremely violent and attempt to kill
any human nearby.
As they rip and tear, they can also be heard uttering phrases like “The store is now
closed, please exit the building.”
Don’t you think I would if I could?
Once fluorescent daylight returns, they revert back to a passive state, and will not bother
anyone unless provoked.
There are exits, and people have escaped, but the locations of these seem to be inconsistent,
making it difficult for individuals to make a concerted effort to leave.
The most notable escapee made it out while the Foundation maintained containment.
He was being chased by an instance of 3008-2, and killed immediately upon exit.
Foundation agents discovered an IKEA-branded notebook on him, with an account of his experience
in the anomalous store.
His account details wandering alone for a while, before coming across a human settlement
known as Exchange.
Yes, the town was named after the section it was nearest.
He lived there for about six months, achieving some sort of normalcy.
It was kinda like when people settled down in the Walking Dead, scavenging for supplies
and warding off a steady influx of walkers.
Crude weapons were fashioned, and lots of meatballs consumed for sure.
He noticed that there wasn’t any weather in this space, and that all of the people
living in the settlement had very different accounts of the reality they originated in.
Some folks had no knowledge of things like the Statue of Liberty, or the International
Space Station, even though they all seemed to come from English-speaking North America.
This opens the possibility of 3008 being multidimensional, with people being fed in from different universes.
Right before the journal-writer escaped, Exchange was demolished by a massive group of “the
staff.”
Apparently they’re attracted to their own corpses, and will attack whatever is nearby.
Someone had left a chunk of staff in the supply boxes, luring an insane amount of them to
the settlement.
There were so many staff corpses lining the barricades that they could just climb up on
the bodies and into the safe zone.
That’s some truly chilling stuff.
So now that we have a pretty vivid picture of what’s going on inside SCP-3008, we need
to start thinking about what would happen if it were real.
How would we deal with an anomaly like this if it really existed?
Oh boy.
The easy answer would be to destroy it outright, but who knows what would happen to the people
within?
Plus, how would we figure out where this thing is?
And It seems to pull people from all different dimensions, so there’s no guarantee that
taking out one facade would really make any difference at all.
So what would probably end up happening is a whole lot of college students and city-dwellers
ending up trapped in the catacombs of meta-IKEA.
Some people might even enjoy it!
The modern world involves so much existential dread, it would be nice to have a singular
purpose for a while: just survive.
No currency, no taxes, no rent, no career aspirations, just fortifying defences and
scavenging for frozen yogurt.
The journal left behind by the escapee is a pretty solid description of what likely
would happen if something like this were real.
People would band together for safety, and rebuild some semblance of a society.
It’s just what people do!
His account was quite sunshiney though, with people from different settlements being totally
generous and non-aggressive.
This is less likely to happen in real life, well, because people are dicks.
Yes, different groups would band together and form alliances based on mutual agreements.
But there’s always something in short supply, and people don’t often want to do without
essentials.
So inevitably, faction-based combat would break out, adding to the dangers of the already
terrifying staff.
Truly, a Walking Dead scenario.
Maybe due to the anomalous properties of the IKEA, there would be enough food and drink
and shelter for everyone!
But even then, interpersonal conflicts about best courses of action, IKEA politics, and
relationships would arise.
It’s human nature to fight with each other!
Eventually a hierarchy would be formed, and different groups would be afforded different
amounts of power.
Once the dust settles, I think there would be potential for society to take leaps and
bounds forward.
There’s enough technology in an Ikea to allow for some big scientific brains to recreate
a lot of the amenities that exist in the outside world.
Although plentiful, I don’t think the staff are very smart, and could likely be kept at
a distance with electric fences, turrets, and other security measures.
The space inside is boundless too, so I’m sure advanced methods of transportation would
be developed as well.
Soon enough, a parallel modern society would exist within 3008, with all sorts of IKEA-brand
items repurposed to be everything people need.
Who knows, maybe once the society spreads far enough the exits will become more apparent.
But at that point, would the folks inside even want to rejoin society as we know it?
They’ve recreated their lives here, and probably don’t feel like readjusting to
the cruel, capitalistic hellworld on the outside.
Long live the IKEA people!
And that’s what there is to say about that!
What do you think?
Would a society blossom in the IKEA?
Or would it crumble?
How would you deal with being stuck in SCP-3008?
Are there any stores that would work better?
Let me know down in the comments.
Speaking of comments, let's take a look at some of your more scandalous ones from last
time: xAPACHEx 666x asks “What if Clifford the
dog was alive?”
Dog food companies would be making BANK!
Imagine how much food that dude must eat.
Greg Williams says “In my imagination the dinosaurs would win over the evil human empire”
We can only hope, Greg!
Let the dinos roam again!
Idaioh Lee says “Happy new years guys!
Good luck 2020!”
And to you too!
Dragon King says “I mean if the golden city is real that would mean there are merfolk,
vampires, mentours, and gorgons” I say the more the merrier!
Add some excitement to our dull, human lives!
And that’s all the time we have for today!
Thanks for watching, and I’ll see you next time!