Reddit Relationships.
Why for 15 years ends love and friendship by f**king the next door neighbor.
True.
D-Day confession happened Thursday.
When my wife first tried to admit that she had been going to see the next door neighbor, (the-Just-A-Friend-Guy), and ended up kissing him once and she felt so guilty.
I didn't believe it.
I knew from her actions and all the red flags that this affair started at least a month ago.
She puked a couple of times.
And then finally fessed up having sex.
Only that last time she went to his place, she has been to his apartment on at least three evenings.
She showed me that they've only texted a few times T-mobile shows the truth to be nearly 1000 times.
But the couple, 2, 3, 4 am sessions that lasted about an hour.
Yeah.
Sexting. The first time is when she tried to sneak out at 2:00 AM to help him with a sick kid, about half an hour, maybe more, maybe less.
But, That was my first real, oh, shit moment.
She met him first thing the next morning, outside our door to walk dogs with him.
The second time was to go visit with friends.
She didn't say with whom or where, but I watched her walk into his place when she thought I wasn't looking.
I walked to his apartment and all the lights were out.
I knew it was real at that moment.
I sat with my back against the wall of his bedroom, about an hour and a half later or so she tried to sneak out his back door to hide her whereabouts.
She saw me sitting in the grass and had the deer in the headlights look of panic, guilt, and such.
She had the nerve to sit next to me, but, all I could smell was him and sex.
She denied it and said there were other people there.
No, there were not
I had heavy thoughts of suicide that night.. heavy.
I even tempted myself with three different methods, but thankfully that was temporary.
The third and final time I know of, is the only time she admitted to sex with him.
It was a night after we discussed divorce.
I had just thanked her for something and was being sweet.
I was hoping I was wrong.
And all of this was really just, as she said, I knew better, but I love, loved my wife with all my heart.
And she is, was my best friend for 15 years.
I wanted to believe her.
Then, I did something stupid.
The AP was out of the area and she and I started having seemingly unguarded vulnerable conversations about our relationship
problems in the past, her current issues with what she perceives is bad with us, etc.
She pushed all the right buttons to convince me.
She had never, ever even once had sex with him, but did admit she was attracted to him.
I told her that if that was true, I wanted at least one good weekend with her sex and all, but I wouldn't dare.
If she had already cheated on me with him, she was so damn convincing tears, hugs, vulnerable talk, and all.
So we did, I even helped her pick out a new vibrator.
I am so damn stupid and naive.
She did lie.
She did cheat.
She had sex with him more than one time when you know, you know, so many songs and poems have been written on this very subject.
I know I'm not alone in this
But what I know is fresh and cannot be unknown.
Now, like many of you, I struggle with this every single moment of every single day and night when I'm awake, I imagined them
together, hear what they say about me, the self-deprecating thoughts of how she finds sex far more satisfying with him than it ever was with me.
And when I sleep, the nightmares come often, they are worse than when I'm awake.
If I do have a moment of peaceful sleep, I wake up after only a few minutes and I realized that this is still real and all the air escapes me and I can not breathe.
We had just decided in March to really make an effort to be a better husband and wife and parents to our daughter.
I worked my ass off to show my best self open myself vulnerable to her.
And at first, so did she, but she met the fat ugly dog guy next door.
And, did a swift 180 on me
I was shocked.
That was a month ago.
She said the standard, he's just a friend thing.
She then told me she wanted me to move out because she wanted to be her own self for a while.
I didn't understand because I hadn't done anything wrong that I was aware of
I've been the best husband I could ever be, but it was actually because of this sexual affair.
I can't process this.
I'm leaving to visit with my family in Florida for three weeks to remove myself from the equation.
Maybe get a better perspective on things.
I can't even look at her now.
I don't know how to deal with loving her so deeply for 15 years.
And now feeling severe hatred, anger, and disgust toward her in such a short timeframe.
It didn't have to end this way.
Not like this.
I loved you with all my heart.
You were my best friend - UPDATE - Tonight.
The trickle truth came to what I think is completion on this affair.
I said to her that I don't believe it was just the one time because after 15 years, you know your partner
Was it all the times that I expected and not just the one she admitted yes.
To all of it.
At least the three times anytime I thought she was with him, she was, and she admitted, oddly.
She said that she got nothing significant, especially no orgasm.
I don't know why that's important.
But for many years she has told me that I'm the only one patient enough to know her.
Additionally, she stated that there was nothing left to confess.
She said that the AP told her that there are no ties, no commitments and nothing else.
It's just sex.
I only feel satisfaction in the fact that I know that what I believed was true, is true.
It would be unwise to believe her.
There is probably a lot more than you know, about this relationship, cheaters lie, and they are very good at it.
They also slowly give away just enough info to get the heat off of them.
There may have been others
A spouse that sneaks out next door.
Doesn't just suddenly have an affair.
They are practiced in it.
Do not believe her.
I feared.
This is going to be one of those stories where you will be surprised who this person really was, but you will also understand that there were bigger issues than the marriage and you didn't have a chance.
Sorry dude..
You will survive this though and be okay.
Oh gosh, I just read your title and thought, oh, no, not again.
When I started participating on this board in April, I came with a very similar story only instead of a neighbor.
My soon to be ex-wife banged, her guitar bum ex-boyfriend, who was "just a friend"
Same setup.
Love this woman to death daughter, 13 years together, my best friend.
And we had a little bit of relationship turbulence here and there, especially when the pressures of getting by were hitting hard.
What the hell is wrong with these people?
Oh, not everything is rainbows and butterflies today.
So, I can't control myself and have to have an affair with the first loser.
I see..
It's pathological. Two months ago I was broken, but, the people here on this Reddit lifted me up.
The only way out of this is the most heartbreaking path, do the 180 method and banish her from your life.
Otherwise you're going to get hurt again and again, these cheaters, once they do that, it's ruined.
They're manipulators
When someone deceives you at this scale, there is nothing wrong with that person internally.
It's a compulsion.
She can't control.
She may have been broken all along, but you didn't notice or chose to ignore the warnings.
But now the mask has come off, even though it's taken many years, whoever you thought she was is gone.
Whoever she is now and forever will be as undeserving of the honor of being your wife and best friend.
I am so sorry for you.
This post made me angry, angry at her, angry with you, angry for you.
Another reckless spouse ruins the lives of all around her, best wishes.
Recovering friend, please keep us updated on your story.
Wow.
That really hit home for me.
July 5th, 2021 would have been my 15 year mark.
She just moved out about a month ago, but this all started years ago.
I only found out in December, 2019, I thought I could make it work a year and a half.
I guess people would say it lasted longer than expected.
I can't say who or how many she cheated on me with, but what hurt the most and was the first one I found out about was the closest person in my life that
I have no choice, but to forgive because they will always be in my life no matter who else may come or go
Or go, I love him more than her by default.
I thought that if I could get over that, then we had it made because nothing could compare to that betrayal.
I caught her in those deer, in the headlights moments too.
I have two holes in a pair of jeans from a 38 special.
I was suicidal, but got lucky that night.
I am past that.
now, I've worked hard to become numb to it all.
I am not sure if that is the right thing to do, but I don't think I will ever have any real closure on the matter.
I think that's the hardest part for me.
I could write a novel about this.
I wish I still had my best friend and lover
I know there will never be another woman in my life like her.
If you want to hear more or have questions, please feel free to contact me.
I have lost everything in my life now, including myself.
So now I look to find myself every day,
This concludes this Reddit Relationships video.