-Happy birthday, buddy. -Thank you.
I appreciate it. Is this for me?
-Yeah, yes, absolutely. It´s from a -- a very --
a great Italian bakery called "Francesco´s"
on Long Island, right where we shoot the show.
-Really?
-And, yeah, it´s really incredible.
-Is this -- Is this how -- how it comes?
[ Laughter ] -Oh, uh...
[ Laughter and applause ]
You know what it is?
Uh, we didn´t know the president was gonna be in town,
and so -- and we hit traffic.
-You were in traffic. Oh, I understand.
-And we just got a little lost on it -- That´s all.
-Oh, yeah, but this is great, yeah.
-The rest is -- -Did someone eat the candle?
[ Laughter ]
-It´s very -- it´s dark in the Midtown Tunnel,
and I didn´t -- [ Laughter ]
-You didn´t know what you were eating.
-Just a little bit.
-You thought one cookie was a little waxy.
-It was all right, though. -You ate half a candle.
-It was very good, though.
-Kevin, this is very thoughtful. -Thank you.
-And thank you for this. I appreciate this.
-Happy birthday. -Thank you, pal.
Thank you. You´re a good man. -Yeah, it´s nice.
-How is everything going? How was your summer?
Did you enjoy your summer? What did you do?
-Summer was great. A lot of -- A lot of work.
I did manage to get out a vacation.
I just went recently. And I -- you know where I went?
I went to the East End of the Island.
I had never -- -Oh, like, Long Island?
-Yeah, I grew up here. And I -- You know what?
I was there when I was a kid, but...
-Where did you go?
-Just to Montauk. We went out to Montauk.
-Beautiful place. -It is beautiful.
It´s incredible out there.
-Beautiful beaches and, like, surf areas and stuff like that.
-Yes. Yes.
-It´s a hot spot now. -It is a hot spot.
-There´s, like, paparazzi out there now.
-No paparazzi. -No?
-For me, it was nothing. It was great.
-Oh, good. -Although I --
I try to stay out of the tabloids,
although I was in recently.
And this annoyed me
because they´re always 100% wrong,
literally, all the time.
They´re -- They´re horrible, but...
-The tabloids, yeah. -Yeah.
´Cause one tabloid said that
I make my assistant go into a restaurant before me
to make sure that the wait staff
doesn´t make eye contact with me when I go in.
[ Light laughter ]
Can we -- Can we check the facts on this one?
-Yeah. -If there was ever -- right? --
I mean, honestly, a situation
where I needed someone´s undivided attention...
-Yeah. [ Light laughter ]
-...it´s gonna when I´m ordering food at a restaurant, right?
[ Laughter ] I mean, right?
I mean, honestly. -Look at the one time.
-I just -- [ Cheers and applause ]
That´s why -- -Please. Focus.
-Yeah. -If I could,
I would hand out horse blinders to the waiters
and make sure they wear those.
If they -- If they -- -If they wrote that, yeah...
-Then I would say, "You got me for that."
-Yeah. -The horse blinder.
-But it is a beautiful place, though. I love it.
-It was awesome. It was incredible.
We were gonna go out to see the --
We stayed at Gurney´s, you know, in -- in --
-Oh, it´s beautiful. -Have you ever --
-Yeah. -I never knew any of this.
-Did you bring -- Did you -- -Brought the kids, everybody.
It was tough, though, because there was
like a 2 1/2 hour ride through traffic,
and it was -- the kids got a little --
We got cranky -- everybody in the car,
and I didn´t know what to do.
We weren´t getting to the hotel in time,
so I pulled off.
Great ice-cream shops they have. -Oh, the best.
-Incredible. -Yeah.
-But we got in there -- massive line to get the ice cream.
So that was like -- I was getting panicked,
´cause the kids were just losing their minds.
And then, we finally get up to the front,
and the lady in front of me, more than two samples.
And that just -- I just wanted to go crazy on her.
You know the samples things? [ Laughter ]
-Yeah. Why? Yeah. I don´t understand that, either.
-Oh, my gosh. -That´s too much...
-You know what? It´s -- Make a decision.
It´s ice cream. -But --
-Even if you´re a little off, you know what I´m saying?
It´s gonna be pretty -- [ Laughter ]
It´s gonna be pretty good. It´s gonna be pretty good.
-You´re waiting in line this whole time.
You couldn´t have... -Exactly. if you can´t, yeah...
-...narrowed it down to one flavor.
-...stand outside the shop and mow it down.
Exactly. [ Laughter ]
And by the way, I get if it´s an exotic flavor you want to try,
Something like Chattanooga, Tennessee, Mocha Flash
or something you don´t know.
[ Light laughter ] -Yeah.
-Lady in front -- double chocolate she wanted to try.
She was, "Can I try the double chocolate?"
I was like, "No, you know what?
Just think single chocolate and double it up in your head."
I was like... [ Laughter and applause ]
It´s not -- It´s chocolate!
-What do you think double chocolate is?!
It´s chocolate -- double it! -Man.
-[ Laughs ] -So, that didn´t go well.
-No, it didn´t go.
Did you -- Did -- Did anyone recognize you?
Because you´re from -- Aren´t you from town?
-Yeah, I´m from Long Island. I´m from here.
But they didn´t recognize me out there.
So we were trying to take the kids out there,
and we were trying to get them to do different things.
We were gonna go see the lighthouse,
and then we didn´t get to see that.
-Yeah, the Montauk Lighthouse. -I took them to a farm stand,
which was -- that was kind of -- it was a bad --
´cause it was right after the ice cream, by the way,
and they were all hopped up on sugar and stuff,
so they´re rolling pumpkins around, and I --
-Yeah, they´re all hopped up and...
-They were. And I panicked.
Like, I -- I don´t -- Do you discipline the kids?
Do you do the disciplining... -No.
-...or does -- your wife does? -No, neither one of us.
-No one does? No one just -- -No, there´s a free-for-all.
-They´re free? -Yeah, there´s a free-for-all.
They roll -- They just roll around there. No.
-I do. I just -- -I try not to do,
but I go, like, "Hey." -That -- That´s it. Like...
[ Laughter ]
-I go -- I say, "Hey," and I wait for my wife to jump in.
-Really? -Yeah. "Hey! Whoa, whoa!"
And then she´s like, "I got this.
Hey. Come here, guys."
-I need to listen to you ´cause I´m the other way.
I´m thinking I got to be like my father.
Like, I go crazy -- I´m like -- I have no second or third gear.
I´m like, "Hey!" I literally --
I banned them from a farm stand for the rest of their life.
I literally -- [ Laughter ]
I said to them -- I said, to my 6-year-old --
I said, "You are never going to a farm stand ever again."
I said "ever again."
How do you even follow up on that?
I didn´t even know what to say. [ Laughter ]
First of all, he probably didn´t even want
to go to a farm stand ever again.
-A farm stand, yeah, exactly. [ Laughter ]
-And second of all, what am I gonna do?
When he´s 18, I´m gonna be like,
"You know, you´re going to your prom.
Have a good time. And, remember, no farm stands.
Remember how you --" [ Laughter ]
What do you -- What do you even do?