Hello I m Darren Magee and the topic for today s video comes from questions asking,
What is meant by the term word salad ? Why do so many narcissistic people use word salad whenever
they are engaging with others? Well word salad was originally a term that was used to describe
how people with a diagnosis of a psychotic disorder would try to express themselves.
It described patterns of disordered speech that was difficult to understand due to their
problems forming a proper syntax when trying to communicate. More recently it has become a term
that refers to when someone just throws words and phrases together into sentences, just like
the ingredients of a tossed salad. They make no sense. They can be contradictory or inaccurate.
There is however a bit more to it than that. It has become a term that's associated with
narcissists and politicians. How they say things to confuse. How they can talk around the subject
without actually answering any questions. How they can change the direction of a conversation
or shift the focus away from the issue at hand. Almost everything narcissistic people do is
about manipulation. They might use word salad when confronted with something they don't want to talk
about. Perhaps we're being called out, or maybe they're being upstaged. It can involve what s
known as linguistic ambiguity. No one really knows what it is they're trying to say, what it really
means. So they find it difficult to challenge them on a certain point. They can talk but don't really
say anything but they sound as if they do. Or they might say something that could mean any
number of things. It also involves twisting other people's words, or twisting the meanings of words
just to confuse others to the point where they re left in more doubt more confusion than when they
started. But the general aim of word salad is to deflect, to shift focus, to avoid accountability,
to dominate conversations. To confuse their opponents just so they can win. Whatever
that means to them. So nothing is ever really resolved unless it's on their terms and from
their narrative. Sometimes the word salad can be reactive. It just comes pouring out
and can sound disjointed and nonsensical. Other times there may be intent there. It may be well
practised and well rehearsed. It could be aimed to provoke a certain response, to frustrate,
infuriate, humiliate. Or to keep others in a state of defeat and despondency. Or to have
their opponents question their own reality. Or to teach them not to question the narrative. So
it can be a well thought and quite an effective strategy for a narcissist. Narcissists are very
competitive and want to win at any cost, even if they do look or sound ridiculous at times. Word
salad can make others feel uncertain, unhinged so the narcissist gets to gain and maintain the
upper hand in conversations. So in this video I'm going to outline some of the different type of
word salad excuses, deflections and conversations. And if you stick to the end, I'm going to give you
three examples of some common phrases that usually proceed word salad. So in no particular order,
the first kind of word salad would be the lengths they go to to dismiss something. Now you may have
evidence to prove something is right or something is wrong, but they can explain it away with
magical thinking, illogical logic or emotional outbursts. An example would be a guy I used to
work with many years ago. He once claimed that the printer attached to his computer had made a
spelling mistake. Of course no one believed that we thought that was ridiculous, but he did go to
great lengths to explain the alchemy involved between clicking print and a page coming out
of a printer. The less we took him seriously, the more fantastical and convoluted his explanations
became. Secondly, there's being condescending and patronising. Narcissists tend to believe
themselves to be the most intelligent person in the room. They are never wrong, so they tend to
talk down the others using what they believe to be intelligent words, technical language,
or sometimes just psychobabble. Sometimes they ll use phrases they ve heard from others that they
think sound intelligent. Even if they're using them out of context. But the aim is to protect
their fragile false sense of self by making others look inferior, sound or look foolish,
less intelligent. If someone where to question what exactly it is there talking about. You
might hear a wry laugh, see them roll their eyes before they start talking as if they're having
to explain something to a child. Then there's the written word salad. This usually comes in emails,
text messages or social media posts. The sort of thing that goes on for page after page, paragraph
after paragraph, with nothing of any real value in it. Now I suppose it is possible they could
just be feeding off the idea that someone has to read the whole damn thing, probably a few times
to try to decipher it. But there can't be a more passive aggressive agenda there. For instance,
maybe you get an e-mail at work. You probably find is about ten or fifteen paragraphs long. Most of
the organisation has been copied into it and it's full of words like notwithstanding, hitherforto,
moving forward and perpendicular. It could all be just to say, Please do things the way I tell you
too, because I like to feel as if I'm in charge. Next there s circular reasoning and circular
arguments. This tactic is often aimed at draining and frustrating their opponents until they just
back down. With circular reasoning nothing ever gets explained, they just keep going over the
same thing again and again without elaborating on anything, without actually explaining anything.
An example of circular reasoning would be trees or made out of wood. What is that?
It's the thing the trees are made out of. And after going round in circles after a while
the other person sees their getting nowhere and eventually just gives in. In a circular argument
they just keep regurgitating the same nonsense. Trying to find fault, using their opponent's own
words against them, until eventually the opponent just gives in accepts whatever it is they're being
accused of. Circular reasoning, circular arguments ignore any questions or legitimate points. The
only way anything is ever resolved is on their terms where they are right and everyone else is
wrong. Overtime the people around them learn not to challenge them, question them, or even
defend themselves against them because it will go nowhere. Next there is constant interruptions.
Just talking over the top of someone. Now this usually happens when a narcissistic person feels
threatened by perhaps another person's level of competence, their popularity,
or their intelligence. So in order to regain some kind of superiority, some kind of dominance,
everytime that person talks they interrupt them. They nitpick, they criticise, they try to correct
them. Sometimes they will pick up on an irrelevant point and steer the conversation into a direction
where they feel a bit more comfortable, a bit more in control. But the aim here is to shutdown their
opponent by silencing them, and if they can't do that, they will at least make it very difficult
for others to hear what they have to say. And next there is answering around the question rather than
answering the question. For instance, someone might ask a narcissist, Are you able to repay
me the money borrowed? Now they re not necessarily going to get a yes or a no. Instead they might get
something like, You know a lot of friendships come to an end because of envy and it's usually envy
around money. In fact, a lot of relationships come to an end because you usually find one person much
more controlling over the money than the other person. By the way, to remember that coffee I
bought you twelve years ago? Well if you remember, I didn't chase you around the place demanding that
you buy me a coffee in return. But I suppose I'd better go sell my car, my dog, the very shirt off
my back, just so that you can get your precious money back. By the way, I hope you enjoyed that
coffee twelve years ago, because it's the last coffee I'll ever buy you and I'm going
to make sure everybody knows how mean you are with money. Now conversations like that are exhausting.
Sooner or later the other person stops asking for their money back. It's just going to go nowhere.
And lastly sometimes they just say whatever they have to, regardless of what it is,
regardless of how it sounds. They say it because they can't not have an answer. They can't not have
an opinion. So there are just a few examples of when and how narcissistic people use word salad.
But regardless of how and when they use it if you're dealing with someone who has very
strong narcissistic traits chances are you're dealing with someone is very competitive,
very envious and very manipulative. So generally you're not going to get any kind of genuine
or sincere form of communication or discourse because it's all about manipulation, confusion,
misdirection, silencing and controlling. Sometimes they might just be blatantly lying,
just making things up. Other times they might be trying to convince someone of whatever they think
the narrative should be. There are many other examples I could have used, as always, please use
the comment box below. There are some interesting conversations start around these videos. But also
please let me know in the comments section if you'd be interested in hearing more about
recognising the more subtle forms of linguistic ambiguity, word salad that often go unnoticed and
under the radar, at first. But if you find this video interesting please consider subscribing
to my channel and until next time. Thanks for watching. Now certainly not in every single case,
but I think there are three common phrases that are often an indicator that you're about to be hit
with word salad, nonsensical reasoning, convoluted explanations, and gibberish. The first one is,
Let me be perfectly clear Which they generally aren't. The second one is, You have to remember
And then they ll bring up something that has got nothing to do with the
topic that's being discussed. And the last one, I think it's important
And then they scramble around in their head, trying to find something important to say.