small talk do know someone who can
strike up a conversation with everybody
they meet their conversations look
effortless they often get free drinks at
the bar and they make best friends
anytime they go out how do these people
do it are they some type of social
mutants or are they just some Naturals
when it comes to talking to people they
may be gifted but they don't have some
coveted secret instead they've just
mastered the art of small talk
that also elusive skill that many people
claim to hate while a lot of small talk
is based only on the fact that they're
standing next to someone they have to
say something the real goal is to find
common ground to spark up a conversation
first you need to realize that small
talk is not a pointless chitchat and
claim to be only interested in a real
conversation how do you get to the point
of having a deeper conversation with
someone in the first place someone you
just met will be weirded out if you just
walk up to them and ask what do you
think happens after you die conversation
is a ladder with small talk serving as
the first few rungs
you can't leapfrog up the ladder that
would be like trying to sprint before
warming up or cooking a steak before
defrosting it now let's look at a few
things you can do to get that
conversation rolling a little quicker
sharing small details is a really good
way to spark interest in a subject and
start up a real conversation instead of
responding to a simple question like
how's it going with good what about you
expand your answer with details about
your day for instance you might say good
I spend the morning playing basketball
with friends and I'm feeling great
when you share that little piece of your
story you'll get to one of the two
responses a question about how it was or
disinterested oh cool
if they reciprocate your excitement you
can head in you can continue the
conversation if they don't seem
interested
try revealing another detail until
something sticks you can also start with
a small compliment just simple I love
your watch where did you get it can get
you in a fun conversation about what
shopping even if the compliment doesn't
lead anywhere it will still make the
person feel more appreciated before we
start discussing other subjects you can
also use this move as a way to actually
introduce yourself to someone learn to
ask relevant questions we're all
hardwired to share information about
ourselves but in order to get to a point
where we're having a real conversation
it's important to show interest in
another person first too often when we
are meeting someone new we try to feel
dead moments with chatter about
ourselves it's far better for you to
listen first and talk second of course
someone have to start the conversation
but if you and your companion actually
listen to each other and not to worry
about what to say next things will flow
more naturally asking questions is a
great way to turn a small talk into a
conversation just make sure your
question is relevant to the topic at
hand and not a way to turn the
conversation back to you when asking a
question make sure it's not closed-ended
a closed-ended question is answered in a
shorter single answer a few examples
would be did you clean the house can be
answered with a simple no did you speak
to John can be answered with a simple
yes closed-ended questions bring
conversations to a halt they don't
invite people to elaborate talk about
themselves or give the questioner any
information
on the other hand an open-ended question
requires a full answer using the
subjects own knowledge or feelings these
questions result in an answer with many
words a few examples would be what
happened after I left how was your day
at work what do you think about the new
season of this TV show the main reason
to use open-ended questions is to obtain
deep meaningful and thoughtful answers
asking questions in this way invites
people to open up because you're showing
that you're interested in what they have
to say so let's summarize what we just
learned small talk leads to a deeper
conversation share small details about
yourself give a genuine compliment and
learn to ask open-ended questions thanks
for watching if you have any more small
talk tips you would like to share post
them in the comments below don't forget
to Like and subscribe and become better
than yesterday
you