Greetings guys, gals, and non-binary pals and welcome back to another video!
I hope that you are well and I hope that you are fighting because there is a lot to be fighting for.
As usual, there'll be link in the description to the page of my website with a bunch of petitions, donations, emails to send to MPS, etc, etc.
Now in today's video, as you can see, I am in a different background but with the same-
But with the same friends who keep me company in every other video.
Plus an extra one. - Hi
Um, if you don't know already, this is Cat. She is my best friend and flatmate.
Uh, and she is also responsible for captioning every single video.
So everyone say a big thank you to Cat for captioning all my videos.
Including this one. - Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. I love you.
And if you didn't know, based on my name and my accent and everything else, I am from New Zealand.
We are from New Zealand.
Uh, but have been living in London for quite some time. Uh, Cat's been living overseas for even longer.
The important thing is that we're from New Zealand.
Yeah, we're kiwis. Bottom line, kiwis. - Bottom line, kiwis.
Um, and a lot of people always ask about New Zealand.
What it's like, what the differences are...
And especially at the moment New Zealand is obviously a big popular topic and thing to talk about.
So, we thought we would have some fun and go through some TikToks from New Zealand, or about New Zealand.
Uh, my friend back home sent me a lot of these. So, Katie, thank you, I love you.
It was... painful trying to find these on my own so I really appreciate the help.
Uh, yeah. So you haven't seen these, have you? - No, this would be my first time seeing...
This is a learning moment for everyone. You're about to know more about New Zealand.
Let's go.
"Part five. Aussie versus New Zealand. Let's roll."
"See Aussies always give us Kiwis sh_t about how we say the word 'fish and chips'"
"It was like, 'oh, they say like 'fush and chups'"
"But, you see, they say it weird too."
"Yeah, hey-"
"Yeah, aye mate."
"They all say 'mate'.
"Aye mate, I would love some fiesh and chieps."
"Chieps."
"Just say fish and chips."
"They say fiesh and chieps."
"Chieps."
"Also give us sh_t for how we say the number six."
"One, two, three, four, five, six."
"And ten, because we say like 'tin'"
"Ten. Tin."
"They say siex."
"One, two, three, four, five, siex"
"Siex!"
"It's six, not sex."
That was way funnier than it should have been.
We, firstly, love Aussie slander. - Oh, all the time. 24/7.
Secondly, Kiwi accents are the worst.
Both of those, Kiwi and Aussie, both absolutely terrible.
We don't really a lot of the time say any of those words the same way they do. - No, no.
Yeah, we've actively spent time trying to run away from it. So-
But they're so right. - They're... Mmmm.
"Fiesh and chieps."
"Fush and chups" - But also-
"Fush and chups" is also disgusting. - "Fush and chups."
It's always fun to laugh at accents. - Oh, yeah, no.
Especially our own and Australians.
And if any of you ever say I sound Australian, I will cry.
[Cicada noises.]
I really miss this sound.
Like summer is so quiet here. It's so quiet. Like... - No, yeah.
It's really funny because like you hear that and it's really f_cking loud, but the way you just like completely tune it out.
But that's just what it sounds like. That's literally everywhere. - That sounds like comfort.
Yeah. - That's what comfort sounds like. Because that's- You hear that all the time.
That is what summer sounds like. It's just what summer sounds like. - Yeah. Yeah.
I miss it. I miss the cicadas. - It's such a nice sound.
I really like going up to the trees and picking them. The little brown-
The shells?! - Yeah.
No. No. Absolutely incorrect.
"What every country in the world is best and worst at. Part seven."
"Now, we head to New Zealand."
"New Zealand is the only country that is home to the very rare species, the Chinook Salmon."
"But New Zealand is also home to the highest teen suicide rates in the world."
It's not funny. But the music behind it is really funny.
Like, this is very important. It's something that a lot of people don't know.
New Zealand does have one of the highest teen suicide rates in the world.
Um, but the music behind it and the way he said it so casually...
As though like, "Yeah, this is just an everyday fact" is so funny to me.
Oh, you know, New Zealand! The place where people, you know, have really big fish, kill themselves...
It's awful. That's awful. It's not funny. - It's not funny the way it was presented was very funny though.
Um, but it is a big issue. - It is a big issue and it's something that people don't talk about enough.
And that is that the youth suicide rate in New Zealand is the worst in all OECD countries by, like, a lot.
It's five times higher than the UK and three times higher than the US,
And that is something that no one ever talks about.
Like, I understand that it's really bad here and people should talk about that,
But it's often like very much dismissed in New Zealand. - Yeah, it's this thing of like...
I think people have a hard time letting go of a place that they have idolized.
Like, they have a place where they think they can like have hope.
Like, "Oh, this country is doing great! So, we'll make sure that we never talk about any issues that are there!" But, people do have to realize this.
That it is a country, which means it has people, which means it has problems, which means it has- - Yeah. Yeah.
And especially because New Zealand is so small, it's very, very easy to influence what the worldwide media says about it.
Like, it's not just like everyday people who idolize New Zealand, it's like the media, everyone.
Like, it's quite- New Zealand has been very, very good at hiding it.
The way that- Because it's not just the suicide rate, it's also like the abuse of women and children.
I remember the case of Grace Millane being murdered back in- that was a few years ago.
Uh, because she was an English backpacker and she was out on a date and she got killed.
And the whole world was like, "In New Zealand?! Nothing bad ever happens in New Zealand!!"
And then New Zealand media was like, "New Zealand finally showing their true colours of how we treat women to the rest of the world."
But it's just really upsetting that no one ever pays attention to that or noticed or anything until it happened to a foreigner. - Yeah.
Which, New Zealand is very, very good at putting out a false image to everywhere and people are very good at just like ignoring everything else.
Yeah, it is upsetting because it does feel like no matter how many times we talk about it to even everyday people- - Yeah.
It's always like "Oh, but it's New Zealand though!" - Yeah.
The amount of conversations we've had with people-
And whenever we talk about bad sh_t that happens there, they're like "Yeah, but that happens everywhere!"
No, but it's literally the worst in New Zealand.
Like, I'm not saying it's not bad in other places but like homelessness, youth suicide, and domestic abuse is the worst in New Zealand.
Out of all OECD countries, it's the worst there.
So as soon as someone's like "Yeah, but that happens everywhere." Incredibly invalidating! Absolutely don't say that.
Yeah. Yeah. We're allowed to talk about our problems too. - Yeah.
I'm sorry to burst your bubble but real people live in New Zealand. - Yeah.
Uh, there are so many issues. - Yeah.
Anyway, next TikTok!
[Music removed due to copyright]
See, what I always love about New Zealand activities is,
New Zealand is so boring the only way to have fun is to jump off a cliff. Like, actually.
That was just, jump off a cliff,
Roll down a hill wrapped in plastic,
Drive down in an unsafe car without any breaks.
New Zealand, so boring you have to almost die to have fun. - Yeah.
You could look at some sheep for a while! - Oh you're right! You should look at some sheep.
Yeah, until like one of them tries to like crash into you and run over so...
You can also go swimming at one of our really nice beaches like Piha!
New Zealand, the best place to go. - Woo! Very nice and safe.
[Music removed due to copyright]
Oh, the last one. - Too right though!
The- I miss pies. I miss Z petrol station pies...
Oh... Oh!!!
I- I remember when I was in- living in Japan and I remember I found this like, Kiwi kitchen
It was like a Kiwi-Australian kitchen.
And I remember they were like, "We have New Zealand pies!"
And I was like, "Oh, my good god, I haven't had that in like two years. I really want-"
So I went out- I traveled like 45 minutes away to get-
And it was like handmade, like gourmet like-
I was so disappointed.
Pies- You go to a petrol station, you buy a pie and then you eat it with one hand while you drive with the other. - Yeah.
[The sound of bottles clinking in the bag]
I know this probably isn't exclusive to New Zealand but it is very funny.
Mind you, a lot of the time your parents buy you the drinks anyway. - Yeah. Yeah.
You're like 14, 15, going to a party and you're-
You're legally allowed to drink at parties, um, when you're underage, as long as you have a written note from your parents.
So, you could go to a party- I think I started going to like friends parties when I was 15.
You get your mum to buy you like Smirnoff Ices or Cruisers.
And, they never did write notes, but effectively if your parent just wrote a note saying "I give you permission to drink."
If the police show up, it's legal for you to all be alone at home...
Drinking. When you're underage. - Yeah
Solving New Zealand's drinking problem one handwritten note at a time!
Your mum bought like a box and you'd get like two and you just like steal an extra one. You're like-
New Zealand does not have a drinking problem. - No. No. No. No! Not at all!
Not- Especially not a teen drinking problem! - No, no, no!
"Here are three facts about New Zealand that you might not know, even if you live here."
"Number one: New Zealand is the first country in the world to see the sunrise in the morning."
"Number two: kiwifruits actually didn't originate from New Zealand. They originated from China."
"Number three: hamsters are illegal in New Zealand. They're banned. You can't bring hamster into the country, and you can't buy a hamster in New Zealand."
These are just such boring facts. - They are.
Literally- It's funny because a lot of these come up and they're always the same video. - Yeah. It's-
"New Zealand is the first place to see the sunrise" They're not. Samoa stole that.
They literally- On December 30th of like, 2015 or something, were like, "No, we want to be first."
So they skipped the entire day! - Yeah, they were like, "We are the last country? No, we want to be the first."
"Here's why the coffee in New Zealand McDonald's is so much better than in England."
"In the McDonald's in New Zealand, they use proper coffee machines."
"They have a massive menu, so instead of getting the coffee made in one of these machines like in the UK, it's actually made in a proper big barista style-"
Now- this one bothered me because why the f_ck do you use those machines in the UK?!?!?
When they showed- Because I thought they meant like the- the shitty McDonald's, like thing-
But then they showed McCafe and I was like, do you mean they don't use an expresso-
Wait, do they not have McCafe here?
Do you just have McDonald's coffee? Wait, do you only have McDonald's coffee? Not McCafe?
Because at home there's McDonald's and then there's McCafe and they're separate.
They have them in the same building. but you have two different counters.
We take our coffee very seriously.
I saved this because, like, the fact she was so impressed by the fact we have proper coffee at McDonald's.
And it's still bad coffee! - Yeah
The worst coffee though will always be Costa.
Costa coffee is... disgusting - Costa coffee tastes like wet dirt.
We don't have Costa in New Zealand but everyone drinks it, so I bought it a couple times thinking it would get better.. It just tastes like dirt.
[Music removed due to copyright]
Listen, it's not funny but the way they're edited is so funny.
The thing is- it's like- it's not funny. Like, the serious of the topic is not funny. - No.
Um, but the thing is it's like- it always feels weird.
Because they're always doing it, like, aesthetically. - Yeah.
It's like, "Look how beautiful this is, and look how not beautiful this is."
It's like- It's not to do with beauty! - Aethetics. It's not an aesthetic thing.
It's not an aesthetic thing. It's not like two sides.
It's like, you could have homeless people on a beautiful, like, mountain, it still doesn't erase the problem.
It's like- This is a very big issue and putting it like, "oh, you don't see the real-"
It just feels like you're diminishing the issue of it.
Like, make its own video. - Yeah.
Like, this feels like it's like- it's very clickbaity. - It's very clickbaity and it also doesn't supply-
It doesn't help anything. It doesn't give any information or anything.
Because that just leads to all the comments being like, "There's homelessness in every country!"
"New Zealand is really pretty! You're so lucky! Like there's homelessness ever-"
No! 1% of the entire country is homeless. And 30% of them are children. - Yeah.
The fact that in Auckland, a house costs more than it does in London, and the average income is lower, yet houses are more expensive.
- Yeah. Yeah.
And it's f_cking Auckland! - Yeah!
"Tell us the fact about South Auckland!"
"I'll tell you a fact about South Auckland, alright!"
"100Ks is on the motorway doesn't actually mean go 100Ks. It actually means go 120Ks!"
"And the yellow on the traffic light actually means go faster."
"And the Takanini Motorway still isn't finished!"
That last one was good.
He's right. 100 means 120. Orange light means f_cking step on it.
I love when a light goes orange and then four people go through.
Yeah, New Zealand definitely doesn't have a drinking problem, or a drinking driving problem, or even just a driving problem.
No, we're not aggressive drivers that end up killing people because of how selfish we are when driving!
No! Of course not! No! - Not at all!
The amount of times people wouldn't let me in and I had to go round the block.
Let me push in front of you! I know I wouldn't let you in front of me but you should let me in front of you!
When I was trying to get my license and I was in the car and I was doing like lessons with a driving coach.
And I remember I was doing 100 because the sign said 100.
So I was like, this is the speed limit.
And she was like, "the light's turning orange, you can go up to 120".
I was like, "You are my driving instructor, you should not be telling me this information."
She was like, "Go faster! We're gonna miss the red light."
And I was like, "I'm not gonna do that."
I like when my mum ran a red light and then drove on the footpath in order for me to get to Halsey tickets.
But we got there and we won the tickets and we drove very safely.
Driving back from the Halsey concert we also had two people in the boot so...
They didn't fit.
Hello, police?
[Music removed due to copyright]
Invercargill!!!!!
Invercargill.
This person really sat down and wrote Invercargill as one of the best places in New Zealand.
Invercargill. You know, I've been to Invercargill one time.
You know what I said? The like- The thing I said when I got there?
There's no people around. They must have all locked themselves inside because of how sad it is here.
No!!!
That's the one thing I took away from Invercargill.
At least it's not, like, Bluff.
Bluff?!?!
Imagine, like, someone being like, "Oh, I want to visit New Zealand! Where should I go?"
And you look them dead in the eyes- dead in the eyes, and go "Invercargill".
For context, there is literally nothing to do there. - No. No.
[Music removed due to copyright]
"Ko Chris ahau. Ko Maungatautari te maunga. Ko Whakatainui te Iwi. "
"Ko whaka- Watch this sh_t cause it's gonna be ruthless."
That's the most New Zealand thing I've ever f_cking seen in my entire life.
That, like, sums up every single person. - We just end the video there. That's all you need to know.
Reciting your pepeha and then jumping off a f_cking cliff?
Jumping in here because I realized I forgot to say what a "pepeha" is.
Basically, a pepeha is the formal way of introducing yourself in Maori.
So, you say a little bit about yourself. Like who you are, your family is, uh, the mountain and river that is significant to you and your Iwi, so your tribe and who your tribe is.
Obviously, that's not applicable to you if you are white, but it is something that a majority of us learn in school.
As a majority of schools try to teach Te Reo Maori in order to not let the language die,
And because they're trying to make an effort to celebrate Maori culture.
So, most New Zealanders will know their pepeha.
Anyway, thought that was important for cultural context.
If anybody asks what New Zealand is like, just... - Just send them that TikTok. Just send them that TikTok because that's like, perfect.
Anyway, this has been New Zealand.
I hope that you took something away from this.
Was any of this coherent? - Did any of this make- Was any of this entertaining to anyone other than us?
It was very entertaining for me. So,, - I found it f_cking hilarious.
So, I'm glad we had fun at least.
I just remembered that your laptop records audio really loudly so this is probably going to clip a lot.
- Yeah, probably.
Apologies if this audio clipped a lot, I forgot to check the audio levels before I started.
Anyway, thank you very much for coming along.
Uh, I hope that you have enjoyed this video and found any sort of entertainment in it at all.
We had a good time, so... - No, I had a great time.
Uh, this is Cat, in case you forgot. - Hi.
We have a channel together where we post podcasts like every six weeks. - Yep.
We're about to film a "podcast" right now. - A self-indulgent video where we will talk for three hours, so.
About Stray Kids. - Yes.
So, if you're interested in that, uh, go subscribe there at uh Savvy Cat Productions.
We just did a podcast with Tara Mooknee on Grazing Hell that was posted probably a couple weeks ago when this goes up, uh, if you want to check that out.
Thank you so much for coming along.
A massive thank you to my kiwifruit and kiwibird channel members whose names are up on the screen right now.
I love and appreciate you so, so much. Thank you so much for joining.
If you would like to become a channel member, you can click the top link in the description or the little blue join button.
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Cat is @CAPTAlNCAT but with an L instead of an i.
I hope that you enjoy the rest of your day.
Stay safe. Keep fighting. I love you.
*Monsters and Fairies by Savannah is playing*