aubrey welcome to part three of our tips for talking to co-workers series yes this is going
to be great if you guys missed part one and part two they were both excellent great ideas on how
to know who to talk to at work and what to talk to them about so go back and watch the first two
episodes of this series if you miss them exactly um so guys today we are teaching you the rules
for talking to co-workers and most importantly what not to say what not to talk about um and how
to maybe deal with people that might be unfriendly like how do you handle that so guys we are going
to teach you about all of this and more in today's show so guys remember go to all ears english dot
com slash work quiz that is our free business english fluency quiz take the quiz get your
score and free resources guys all right so much to know you guys about talking with co-workers
right small talk you can't just go and chat with anyone and not have much to say you need to put
in a little thought a little preparation before right so in part one we taught you how to decide
when and how to be friendly with your coworkers who to talk to in part two we talked about the
topics and vocabulary you need to start these conversations with co-workers who are friendly
now we're going to look at the topics to avoid like you said with almost everyone at the office
and what kind of kind of conversations you can have with co-workers co-workers who aren't as
relaxed and open to chatting yep totally oh my god this is such a packed lesson today um
guys remember that if someone doesn't want to talk to you at work it's not about you right it's about
them they're having a bad day or maybe they just don't like talking to people maybe they're just
very uncomfortable talking to people it's not about you guys so don't spend time worrying about
it all right um and don't waste your effort into trying to develop a relationship with someone who
doesn't want to have a relationship with you guys there are other people waiting to talk to you so
go find them all right so no matter who you are talking to guys there are some things we think you
should avoid and the first salary just don't don't go there guys don't ask other people what they
earn what their salary is what their hourly wage is um it's always uncomfortable just don't ask
yes and this might be a little different than different cultures but in the united states
it's really taboo it's really something that is not appropriate to ask about to ask someone what
they earn or what they make or when their last promotion was this is always going to be awkward
very just not a good idea totally um and also guys don't get too personal right um if you are at the
beginning of developing a connection with someone don't start a conversation talking about your you
know your relationship problems or your health issues um we don't we don't want to start the
conversation like that right so don't don't get too personal and make it uncomfortable um and also
like family issues and that falls under personal problems i think but maybe you are dealing with
some sick parents right now or something like we don't want to bring that into a friendly
conversation especially not with a new friend yeah these are the types of topics that you
want to reserve for close intimate friends that you've known for some time if you're having that
conversation where you're each sharing struggles or some difficulties that's a very different
situation yeah at work when it's a pretty new friendship or just small talk you want to avoid
yes these more personal maybe conversations that are difficult to have or emotional for you
avoid that keep it light keep it friendly totally um and of course politics and religion guys
just don't go there um it can be very divisive um and again guys we're talking about like what
to say with new friends with possible friends you know what i mean like people who you're just
starting to develop a positive friendship with so these aren't things that we're going to talk about
right away um so definitely guys leave politics and religion out of it um until of course you are
sure what the other person's life is like and what is not going to offend them right um and
just be sensitive to anything that might offend them and just don't bring it up and that's usually
politics and religion right um when it comes to politics and religion i often won't even bring it
up with very close friends or family especially if i know we're going to disagree because it's
just so difficult to keep contention out of it to be able to see both sides and
not have those negative emotions come up so we often just to be safe avoid it entirely
talk about something else and even more so with co-workers friends that you're just trying to sort
of start building that relationship with keep it light keep it friendly don't talk about politics
so go back to part two guys if you didn't watch that because there are strategies and topics in
part two of this series um for excellent ways to start conversations and what to talk about
with co-workers that are all very positive guys um but as always rules are made to be broken right so
when and with whom aubry do you break those rules it's interesting right um different generations
often have different values or might be offended by different things so i always take into account
the the generation someone was born in right the life experience they might have i'm going to think
about that before you know i'm not going to have a discussion about new slaying or new pop music with
someone who's quite a bit older than me right we want to think about what will this person be
interested in and definitely what would possibly offend this person i'm going to avoid that topic
exactly exactly um yeah for sure i mean i would have i could have a conversation with you aubrey
um about anything about a lot of different topics and some of these might offend my mother for
example so i wouldn't talk to her about it or like an older person you know what i mean um so just be
sensitive also to age and uh background as far as their comfort level with what you're what you want
to talk about um okay so let's say that you are talking to an older co-worker right she's about
to retire and honestly like she just doesn't care about being in the office anymore like she's not
friendly to anyone like she's she's basically out of there like what could you talk to her about i
had this exact experience i was working on campus where i went to university and there was a lady
who was quite a bit older and she was vocal about the fact that she was just waiting for retirement
she was real grumpy totally yeah i still did chat with her sometimes about the weather right i might
say oh it's a scorcher today just just to say something friendly yeah yeah exactly so guys um
we're gonna talk about some topics that you could use with anyone it doesn't matter their age it
doesn't matter how happy they are these are things you could say to avoid awkward silences you could
still talk about something guys so whether exactly um look below the video guys and there's a list
of phrases and topics um so if it's really hot you could say it's a scorcher today for example
scorcher just means really really hot um did you see the forecast for this weekend nothing but
rain for the next week um just have a general comment about the weather um i think it's great
just to avoid awkward silences because then it could make the other person just grumpier like
just take take the air out of that situation and say something like this yeah right you could say
oh it's gorgeous out i wish i were fishing right now and even if her response is i hate fishing
like at least you've said something to you know not have a silence to remove that awkwardness and
she'll see that you're attempting to be friendly and maybe she'll warm to you and start being more
kind and friendly no totally i have broken people down with my friendliness they started off grumpy
they realized hey jessica's a nice person i think i will try and talk to her next time
um okay um and then of course just like informal work talk hey how's your day going um any exciting
projects on the horizon people do still like to talk about their their own achievements at work
so you can ask them about their projects right just remember to stay positive and avoid gossip
of course right um and also asking other people for their advice then it makes them feel valued
so you could say like hey you worked with boris jones right i'm meeting with him next week mind
if i pick your brain for a minute yes you could say got any pointers which just is a great native
phrase for do you have any advice for me any any good tips you can share or you could say
would you mind sharing your thoughts on working with him these are great phrases and i love this
is such a good strategy to maybe boost their ego a little bit because you're telling them that you
respect them you appreciate their advice you know it will be good advice
and that's everyone's gonna feel good about that and of course guys always give compliments right
like by the way i really admire the way you handled that presentation yesterday great work
compliments like we talked about in the last part compliments are awesome so okay let's get into
this role play in this role play guys i am playing someone who is just not socially comfortable
which is funny for me um like i'm not a mean person i just don't enjoy conversing with other
people in the role play guys not in real life um and aubrey you are my co-worker and you want to
connect with me just on any level and try and help me feel comfortable so we're gonna really see your
skill your acting skills jessica let's see if you can pretend to be the opposite of your son this
is gonna be so hard okay let's try it you got this all right i'll start us out hey jessica how's your
day going no bad great great man it's gorgeous out i wish i were out on the river today yeah
me me too so sorry to bother you but i'm trying to log on to the new network and i can't do you
know if they change the passwords again yeah the new ones are posted in the break room oh awesome
i didn't even think to look there i never ever think of using a hard copy for anything anymore
i thought they'd be in an email or something yeah totally great thanks oh by the way i love
your tennies they're so retro super cool thanks all right see you later jessica that's so hard
well done well done it's so weird talking in such like short sentences unfamiliar to you
so a couple vocab words and then we'll finish up for today guys um tennies uh slang for
tennis shoes or sneakers and retro is just like a cool fashion from days gone by retro
all right so today this was a long one guys but it is our last episode in this
series tips for talking to co-workers um so if you didn't watch the first two go back
and watch those first two lessons guys and remember go to alliersenglish.com work quiz
awesome this is really fun jessica i loved this series this is very fun
that role play was so hard okay awesome aubry i'll see you next time all right bye-bye