Hello ladies and gentlemen, thanks for tuning in to my latest video…
this time around, I’m going to tell you how to ensure that, once you get your ex back,
you’re able to actually keep them and enjoy a healthy and long-lasting relationship.
So, my name is Brad Browning…
you may know me as the author of the best-selling program that helps readers win back their
ex after a breakup.
That program is of course called The Ex Factor Guide and you can learn more about it at my
website, BreakupBrad.com.
In addition to The Ex Factor I also provide 1-on-1 relationship coaching to people like
you from around the world.
Now, like I said, this video is about what to do after you win back your ex.
Hopefully you’re already at this point and you’ve reunited with your ex… but even
if you’re still working at it, the tips in this video will help you once you do get
back together, or even in future relationships should things not work out with your ex.
First of all, I do want to be upfront with you, because the honest truth is that there
really isn’t any surefire way to make sure your relationships remain healthy and don’t
end in a breakup.
You can do all the things I suggest in this video and more, and things may still not work
out in the long run.
That’s just the reality of love and relationships…
it’s not something that can be forced, and some couples just aren’t compatible enough
to survive in a long-term relationship.
For most of you watching this, though, that’s probably not the case.
Most of you will be able to do some simple things to ensure your relationships are healthy
and your partner won’t walk out on you.
I’m going to finish this video with the single most important tip, so definitely stay
tuned to the end…. but first, let’s start with one of the most important things you
can do to ensure your relationship stays on track…
1.)
Don’t get complacent.
After months and years being with the same person, many people tend to become complacent
about their relationship, not realizing that staying in love with someone and keep your
connection alive sometimes requires effort.
When you start to take your relationship or your partner for granted, and you stop putting
in the effort, obviously things tend to go downhill.
There’s nothing in particular you can do to prevent this, other than to remind yourself
not to become too complacent or take your partner’s love for granted.
Some people say that relationships are like cars: they need routine maintenance and upkeep
to stay in good shape.
Once you stop waxing the paint and changing the oil, things begin to deteriorate… and
even though the car may continue running for a while, it won’t last in the long run.
Same goes for your love life -- put in the effort, and your relationship will remain
in great shape for many years to come.
2.)
Don’t be boring.
This is really pretty much as simple as it sounds… if you want your partner to stay
with you, then be the same interesting and fun person that you were when the two of you
first met.
Make time to have fun together, be spontaneous, and try new things.
Don’t let your relationship fall into a routine, because routines are the same thing
over and over again, and that’s the recipe for boredom.
The person you’re dating isn’t going to want to dump you and run off with someone
new if they’re always having fun with you.
By being spontaneous, mixing up your routines, and surprising your partner from time to time,
you’ll really help to avoid the stagnation and boredom that leads to breakups.
Don’t get me wrong, either…
I’m not saying you need to go bull riding on Monday, skinny dipping on Tuesday, and
surprise your partner with a new car on Wednesday.
That’s unrealistic and unsustainable.
I’m talking about simple things…
planning last-minute weekend getaways, weekly dinners out at new restaurants you’ve never
tried, love notes left under your partner’s pillow… that kind of stuff.
Even something as simple as inviting a few new friends to dinner or randomly grabbing
a drink together after work can be enough to keep boredom at bay.
3.)
Don’t be boring in bed.
A dull sex life can also lead to unhappiness in a relationship.
Don’t let your time in the bedroom turn into a routine affair…
when that happens, eventually either you or your partner will stop looking forward to
sex, it’ll happen less often, and things will spiral downhill from there.
Even if you’re OK with your sex life as-is, you may not necessarily know whether your
partner feels the same way.
Maybe he or she wants to try something new or mix it up… having open conversations
about sex is really helpful to figure out what your partner enjoys and how to keep things
interesting.
If your sex life is getting stale, take action to make it more interesting.
Buy her some sexy lingerie, surprise him with sex in a new place… doesn’t matter what
you do as long as you keep things interesting and don’t let sex become boring and routine.
4.)
Don’t stop being yourself.
This is something that happens to so, so many people… you begin dating someone, things
get serious, and over the course of a few months to a year, you stop hanging out with
your old friends and give up your old hobbies.
Instead, you spend most of your time with your new boyfriend of girlfriend, making him
or her the focus of your life.
This is a bad idea, period.
No matter how strong the connection is between you and your partner, no matter how much you
want to spend all your time together, you still need to have your own life.
Keep in touch with your friends and your social circle, hang out with them even when your
spouse isn’t around, and don’t give up all your hobbies and interests just because
your partner doesn’t share your love for them.
Not only does this ensure you don’t become too ‘clingy’ or ‘needy’ around your
boyfriend or girlfriend, it also helps to prevent the relationship from getting stagnant
and boring.
If you and your partner spend all your time together, you’ll quickly run out of things
to talk about.
If you each live your own lives, you’ll be less likely to bicker and argue, have more
to talk about when you’re together, and better appreciate the time you do spend together.
Now you may not fall into this trap yourself, but perhaps your partner has or will do something
similar…
if you see your significant other giving up on hobbies, no longer talking with old friends,
and spending all their time with you, take the initiative and encourage them not to lose
touch with their passions or their close friends.
If both of you have interesting and active lives as individuals, you’ll both bring
more to the relationship and be less likely to feel trapped in the relationship.
And finally, the most important piece of advice I can give you…
5.)
Don’t be needy, clingy, overprotective, or jealous.
We all know that traits like “neediness” and “jealousy” aren’t good for a relationship.
But many people don’t realize when they’re being clingy or jealous at the time, and so
they let their emotions take charge and exhibit these kind of behaviours.
Trust me on this... being needy, clingy, or overly controlling is a fantastic way to destroy
your partner’s attraction to you and make them want to escape the relationship.
You must give your partner space, freedom, and your trust.
You need to learn to control your own emotions, use logic and reasoning to overpower insecurities,
and build your own life and social circle so that you don’t suffocate your partner.
What are some needy or clingy behaviours?
Constantly seeking approval or affirmation, like asking “do I look fat in this dress?”
or “do you not love me anymore?”
Whining or nagging your partner when he or she doesn’t check in with you regularly
or doesn’t call often enough for your liking Trying to prevent your partner from seeing
friends or doing things that don’t involve you
Constantly questioning or grilling your partner about where they’ve been or what they’ve
done Overanalyzing your partner’s comments or
actions and trying to constantly read between the lines
Wanting to keep track of your partner’s friends and who they’re phoning or texting
If you’re guilty of any of these things, then you can dramatically increase your odds
of staying together in a happy relationship by putting an end to your needy or clingy
tendencies.
For some people, this is easier than for others.
Sometimes, neediness stems from underlying psychological issues such low self-esteem
or fear of abandonment, which may require counseling.
For most people, though, it begins with building self-confidence and learning to trust your
partner… and, if you follow my earlier advice about building your own life outside the relationship,
that will definitely help too.
It’s also critical to give your boyfriend or girlfriend space, making sure you don’t
call too frequently or set expectations that are unreasonably high.
If you catch yourself being overly needy or jealous about something in the future, it
also helps to own up to your behaviour and explain what’s going on in your head to
your partner.
For instance, just say something like, “I’m sorry for getting upset at you for not phoning
last night, I know I was overreacting so next time I won’t give you such a hard time.”
Hopefully, though, you’ll be able to use self-control to manage your emotions and keep
any needy, clingy, or overly jealous tendencies under control.
If you follow the advice I’ve given in this video, I promise your current and future relationships
will be far less likely to end up in an ugly breakup.
Anyway, that does it for this video… if you need my personal help getting a second
chance with your ex, or making sure they stick around this time, you can learn about my 1-on-1
coaching program at www.BreakupBrad.com/Coaching… that’s BreakupBrad.com/Coaching to get details
on hiring me as your private relationship coach.
Please also feel free to share feedback, questions, and weird hatemail in the comments section
below….
I read ‘em all and reply to as many as I can.
Thanks again for watching this video, hope you found it helpful.
Bye for now!