When rooted in self-awareness,
self-consciousness can serve as a truly impactful emotion that allows the INFJ to work on themselves
and learn valuable life lessons. However, there’s a fine line between negative and
positive self-consciousness, and unfortunately the INFJ knows both sides of that coin all too well.
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Alright, let’s get right into it starting with..
Number 1: Self-misunderstanding
Well known as being the most mystifying personality type, the complexity of
the INFJ’s mind not only confuses those around them, but also themselves. In fact,
for an INFJ who knows little about the inner workings of their cognitive functions,
life can feel rather alienating and foreign to begin with. This is because this introverted
personality type’s strengths are rather difficult to appreciate without knowing the full extent of
how they can be used. With some personality types explained as being strong alpha-type leaders or
brilliant encyclopedias of knowledge, the INFJ is always explained as being the ‘most empathetic’.
And empathy only gets you so far in a world that is much more focused on other things. In reality,
most people with the INFJ personality type that don’t know they’re an INFJ probably don’t even
realize that this ability to feel the emotions of others is what will help them navigate life
on this beautiful spinning sphere. And unfortunately, there’s no self-conscious
thought more painful than one that’s rooted in the subconscious misunderstandings of ourselves.
Number 2: Their humility gets the best of them
Humility is a funny thing. Sometimes mistaken for lack of pride or even self-consciousness itself,
it can be difficult for an INFJ to actually humble themselves properly. But, what exactly does that
mean? Well, the INFJ never wants the spotlight. As much as they want to be the best they personally
can be, they rarely want to out-shine others or come across as better-than. So, in order for the
INFJ to remain within this at-times overly-humble mindset, they often end up staying quiet about
their goals and accomplishments. To them, it’s much easier to undermine their own capabilities
and outlooks than to have someone feel less-than or jealous. Even to the people they love the most,
sometimes it’s just best not go into detail about how truly proud of themselves they are or all the
things they actually believe they’re capable of. Not to mention, INFJ’s will read the room before
even thinking of opening their mouths, and usually they find it’s never the right time. So, while the
INFJ may at times seem self-conscious from the outside looking in, they may just not want the
attention directed at them..or the questioning, encouragement and doubt that often comes with it.
Number 3: They don’t celebrate their strong-suits and accomplishments
Speaking of humility, the INFJ often has the habit of humbling themselves to the point of convincing
themselves that they always have room to improve. And while this is usually a good place to be at
mentally, the INFJ can easily take this concept a little too far by remaining blind-sided to their
own sense of accomplishment. It can snow-ball to the point of feeling fraud or unworthy of the
accomplishments and praise they do receive. This combined with the INFJ’s future-focused attitude
makes past mistakes stand out as lessons, and past wins fade into the background. In fact,
sometimes when the INFJ is stuck in a self-conscious mental loop it’s best to
sit down and right out all the areas in life in which they know they’re doing well in.
Or writing out all the accomplishments, big or small, they’ve made over the last week, month,
year, or even decade. Not only does keeping a conscious recollection of life’s checkpoints
help an INFJ realize their abilities, but it also encourages them to add more to that list!
Number 4: They’re not actually as self-conscious as they tell themselves
Like most things that involve an INFJ’s emotions, this personality type’s level of self confidence
isn’t so cut and dry. Sure, everyone knows where their weak-points lie, and in which areas they
excel in life, but for the INFJ, it’s more of an all-or-nothing approach with an underlying deeper
knowing that they’re better than what they think about themselves. A continuous battle between
logic and intuition, the INFJ knows intuitively that they have deeper understandings of most
things, as well as the drive that allows them to utilize that knowledge. Yet, on the other hand,
this highly-disciplined type’s analytical mind is always searching for ways to improve,
where to self-criticize, and what more needs to be done. This inner battle sends them into a limbo of
feeling confident, motivated and ready to take on the world one day, and then disappointed,
unassertive and overwhelmed when something doesn’t go as planned. Which brings us to our next point..
Number 5: It’s usually conditional
Self-esteem, insecurities and self-doubt come in and out of everyone’s life at one
point or another. Whether we’re starting a new job, entering a new relationship,
or really taking any sort of leap outside our comfort zones, the same self-critical questions
and comments always emerge. “Do I have what it takes?” “Is this a waste of time?” “Why did they
choose me?” “Do I even deserve this opportunity?” And for the INFJ, they know these slightly toxic,
yet introspective questions all too well. However, the true self-conscious emotion comes through
when this self-analytical type either doesn’t achieve or doesn’t go after what they want.
When feelings of self-disappointment arise, there's no shaking the INFJ from their deep bout
of self-conscious thoughts. This is all the more true when the reason for self-disappointment also
disappointed someone else in the process. With a combination of selective-perfectionism, a need
for constant self-improvement, and the ability to predict certain outcomes, when things don’t go as
planned due to their mistake, self-consciousness may linger and leak into other areas of life.
Number 6: Stagnancy
Now, situational conditions are most certainly the key contributor to the INFJ’s switch from
feeling confident to self-conscious, but when their surroundings conditions haven’t changed at
all? From the outside, their life looks good, like they have all their dominos in a row. And the most
contradicting part is that they probably do. With such high-self standards, the INFJ would spiral
into darkness should they let something fall to the sidelines due to their inability to keep up.
However, sometimes when everything is going as planned and they’ve reached a place of stagnancy,
all of a sudden the INFJ can slip into an energy of self-consciousness. They are big-picture
thinkers, and when they feel stuck living out the same routine day in and day out for too
long of time, that bigger picture begins to fade. It’s like they begin looking at those perfectly
lined up dominos and begin noticing all the ways they didn’t line them up properly. Some are too
far apart, some are too close together and some are completely out of line. Or they question what
would happen if they all came crashing down.. The dominant introverted intuitive function of
this personality type requires constant intake of new knowledge, new concepts, and..ironically,
meeting new people. This not only allows them to feel less stagnant and less focused on the minute
details but when they’re trying new things, they tend to be much less hard on themselves.
And lastly..
Number 7: Their self-consciousness fuels their self-improvements
In the end, self-consciousness isn’t something to be afraid of. Especially for the INFJ who
should probably learn to get used to it, whether they like it or not. It’s a unique emotion that
umbrellas other rather uncomfortable emotions such as jealousy, embarrassment, and low self-esteem.
Emotions that allow the INFJ a deeper look into the subconscious thoughts about themselves that
circulate in their minds without them realizing. Emotions that also encourage the INFJ to question
which self-conscious thoughts should be acted on, and which should be observed, understood,
and released. The only thing this personality type in particular must identify is whether or not the
experienced feelings of self-consciousness are their own or if they’re absorbed from the people
around them through their extroverted feeling function. Yet, even these absorbed feelings
of lack of self confidence can teach the INFJ lessons that they can’t find elsewhere. And so,
although the route to differentiating between the 2 internal and external emotions is certainly
a learning curve, it’s necessary for the INFJ to use self-consciousness to their fullest advantage.
Well PSYCH-Os, that’s it for today’s video.. So, would you consider yourself to be a
self-conscious INFJ? Let us know in the comments below! Also, make sure to leave us a like,
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