[music]
This week's Music Monday is the really, really, really long
epic cop Mini-Movie video edition, with T-ara's "Cry Cry"
[music]
So there are two different versions of this music video:
There's the really, really, really long version, and there's also a dance version.
We're gonna be focusing on the really, really, really long version
and we'll talk about the dance version only in the dance section.
[sleepytime music]
Huh! Whuzzah? Ohh.
I was watching T-ara's "Cry Cry" Music video and I fell asleep.
Oh! Turns out that I didn't miss anything
because it takes 10 minutes for the plot to actually progress.
You can literally just watched the first and last couple minutes of the video
and know exactly what's happening.
This video, however, really matches the feel of the song,
because it sounds like it was taken straight from a TV Drama
Not that it's a badly done video! Not at all.
The lighting is great, the filming is great
and it really has a grimy feel to it. We like that.
We can definitely say that this looks like a well-produced movie.
So, on a technical aspect, we liked this music video a lot.
As for the story, though: not so much
Let me give you the full 15 minute plot breakdown.
Cop shoots bad guy! Bad guy has daughter!
Cop raises daughter. Daughter finds out that cop shot father.
Daughter tries to kill cop.
But, the daughter fails to shoot the cop
in one of those oh-so-typical scenes with the shaky guns.
When the whole audience is like...nah
You killed my father! Now I'm gonna shoot you!
You won't!
I will! I'll do it!
You can't!
Why don't you think I'll do it?
Because your gun is a banana.
Oh. That makes no sense at all.
Ok, no Junsu bananas. But, still, shaky gun pointing.
Which, let's be honest, we kiiiinda expected.
I mean, if there was some twist to the ending we wouldn't find this boring,
but, as it stands, it's reeeeeeeeeeely predictable.
Now, to be clear, it's not like this movie has a confusing or bizarre plot
We just really don't like it when the producers of anything be it books, movies, or music videos
act like the audience is dumb and couldn't possibly figure out
what was going to happen at the end of this music video.
We all knew three minutes into the music video
that she was going to find out that the cop shot her dad
and was going to turn on her adopted father.
We didn't need 12 more minutes to get to the final point of the story
It was supposed to be a sad and moving storyline,
but because we already predicted how it would end,
One thing we didn't find predictable about the music video, though,
was the utter incompetence of the Korean police force and Korean mafia.
I don't know about you, but I'm used to my televised criminals
acting with a little more caution.
Can anybody tell me why they opened the door to the cops at the beginning of the video?
[music]
Drugs and money and guns! I got my drugs and I got my money!
And I'm a criminal! And I'm making money doing criminal things
Oh! Someone's at the door.
Should I bring a weapon? I don't want to startle them. Coming!
Who is it!
Police!
Wait a second! I'm not opening for Police!
Did I say police? I meant to say Polizza Pizza Delivery! Pizza Delivery!
Pizza! Oh come on in!
Ahhh!
I'd expect the criminals to exercise a little bit more caution than that.
And why did the father reach down when the cop was pointing a gun at him?
How about saying something like
WAIT! I'VE GOT A DAUGHTER HERE! SHE'S JUST A LITTLE GIRL!
Don't you know that when a cop is pointing a gun at you
reaching for anything will result in death by a cap in the ass.
But it's not like the cops are much better
What is up with that terrible gambling ring of dumbness?
Didn't she just completely and utterly blow her cover by wagering her gun. Seriously?
Well, at least the cops think ahead enough to video record for evidence.
But surely you've collected some awesome and important evidence with that ugly camera of yours.
Like OMG! There's the criminal! I'm gonna go follow her and get some evidence.
Did you...did you leave the lens cap on?
Oh.
Well, besides the awkward mistake with the lens cap
Which was really quite a big mistake there guise.
It was really quite cool to see that one member of T-ara
as a totally rocking ass-kicking machine.
Oh wait. Aren't there like 7 members of T-ara? Yeah, I think there are.
Wait! I think there's one more member in the video
I'm not really sure if it's her, but if it is,
she definitely got the short end of the stick
Ok everybody! Quiet on the set.
Ok, for our next music video we're going to need two actresses.
One of them is going to be a very sexy femme fatale bounty hunter.
And it's gonna be you, Jiyeon. Yes!
Ok great. The next one is going to take a very dramatic slap across the face
with a wallet.
Other girl. It's you.
Ohh!
But good news for the other members of T-ara
I'm pretty sure that their next really really long really long really really long
music video "Lovey Dovey" will feature more members in it.
Ok T-ara. Today we're filming Lovey Dovey
And, I know, last time Jiyeon had the dominant role
so today we have something very special for the rest of you
You're all going to engage in hot and steamy sexy love affairs
with some super hot male models! Woohoo!
Oh. No wait. I misread that.
You're all getting slaps. Across the face. With wallets.
Boo!
And action!
[wallet face music]
[awesome music]
This dance version of "Cry Cry" I thought it was a bit crowded and disconnected.
It had so much going on in it.
It had all these little cut scenes with people tangoing
and dancing in puddles and stuff and it was a bit distracting.
And it was good, but I just couldn't really remember anything from the video.
Oh wait! I lied!
There's that awesome little breakdown sequence at the end
where they take that scarf and they rub it all over their crotch, Bubble Pop style
Coupled with their sassy jacket removal,
I can really say that I learned a lot on how to be sexy
while doing normal everyday tasks.
Oh can you pass me a tissue.
Uhh, we don't have any tissue here. We just have toilet paper.
That's fine, just give me like five or six squares.
Quickly quickly! I'm gonna sneeze!
Quickly Quickly Quickly Quickly Quickly Quickly!
Thanks!
Oh God not this again!
Oh please stop being so ridiculous
Oh no. That's gross
Are you really gonna blow your nose
[sexy nose blowing]
[more sexy nose blowing]
Ohhhh...marriage.
You gonna pick up your snotty booger rag?
T-ara doesn't.
I don't think they blow their nose into it.
Whatever! It's just as sexy!
[music]
As for the English of the song, we give this a
3 out of 5
There's actually quite a bit of English used in the song.
And I don't know about you, but the line "Cry Cry, can't you see the music"
doesn't really make sense because you can't see music as much as hear it
But we're gonna let that one slide,
because it's kinda on the cusp of artistic integrity and what not, so we're gonna give that a free pass
But this whole "Break it make it take it come on come on yo" shall not pass.
We were hoping that maybe the Korean lyrics surrounding this part
would help us make sense of it, but noooo. It just comes out of nowhere
It's just a throwaway section with a bunch of rhyming English
that sounds more like an infomercial than a music video
First you take it! Then you make it! Then you break it!
But, we won't be too hard on them because this is, after all
Only the first time that T-ara used throwaway English in a song
No it isn't. I lied. Big time!
[music]
Last week we asked you who had the more profound message on beauty.
Sunny Hill's "Pray" or Brown Eyed Girls' "Cleansing Cream"
And the winner was definitely Sunny Hill.
They actually doubled the votes so, wow Sunny Hill!
Wow for your creepy video
It was so creepy!
For this week's really really long epic copy mini movie music video edition
we ask you which really really long epic copy mini movie music video you preferred
T-ara's "Cry Cry" or TVXQ's "Before You Go"
Leave your votes in the comments and we'll announce the winners next week.
Also thanks to everyone who requested T-ara's "Cry Cry" this week.
If there's a video you want to see us do for next week's Music Monday
head on over to http://www.eatyourkimchi.com/requests
and tell us who we should do a video for.
Also, don't forget to like and favorite this video
and to subscribe for more Kpop Music Mondays.
and since Spudgy just had really serious surgery
he can't do any dancing, so he's got a stunt double taking his place.
Take it away, Stunt Double
[music]