Come one, come all.
See it for your own eyes.
Be amazed by Nate Wright's freaky deaky lucky pimple!
A lucky pimple?
I was once a skeptic like you,
but it's the real deal, my friend.
And now that Dr. LeGaes is gone--
Okay, class, please take a seat.
I'm your new substitute drama teacher.
She's just a substitute teacher. Let's pack it up.
Oh, uh, sorry.
Don't ever apologize for being overly dramatic.
I'm Donna.
D stands for Drama, O stands for Obsession,
N stands for Nurture,
the other N also stands for Nurture,
The A stands for...
Anyway, what have you guys been doing in class?
We're supposed to be rehearsing for Death of a Sailorman .
You mean salesman?
No. It's a play our old drama teacher wrote.
Really? Can I see the script?
Hmm.
Oh!
I'm sure whatever is happening in your own lives is
much more interesting than what's in that script.
I learned that when I did my one woman play,
The Donna Logs on Broadway.
You were on Broadway?
Yes, but I left it all behind to pursue my real passion,
being a substitute drama teacher.
Now I want to hear from you all.
Tell me something that happened yesterday that moved you.
I crushed a bug.
And how did that make you feel?
Powerful.
Okay. Thank you...
Randy or Rad Sauce or Rand Man.
Of course. Anyone else?
My former drama teacher told me
that I was slimy and green and that nobody liked me.
And how did that make you feel?
Like that bug that Randy...
Rad Sauce.
...that Rad Sauce crushed. I felt stepped on.
It made me want to scream.
So why don't you?
[screaming]
[chirping]
Thank you, uh...
Dee Dee, the name's Dee Dee.
Class, I want you all to recognize
Dee Dee's bravery here today.
[groaning]
It was the summer of my sixth year.
I remember the smell of hydrangeas.
My parents were having a yard sale.
I was asked to get rid of some of my stuffed animals.
A child should never have to make such a choice.
I tried to take it back, but it was too late.
Charlie, the Penguin was gone.
I was left with an empty space on my comforter.
[clapping, crying]
[blowing nose]
[crying]
I always thought I could be a leading man.
Uh, Dee Dee, hang back a minute.
I have something for you.
What's this?
Dee Dee, I think you've got a real gift.
Keep practicing your craft and you might just find
the actor inside the actor inside the person
inside the person in you.
Okay, Dee Dee, be cool, be cool.
[knocking]
Dee Dee. What a lovely surprise.
I found your address in the substitute teacher pages.
Oh, who's your little friend, Donna?
Oh, how rude of me. This is Kathleen, my wife.
[meowing]
[barking]
Hi, Dee Dee.
Don, is this the talented young actress
you've been telling me about?
It certainly is.
Oh, well, um, sorry to just show up at your house
like this but I have some questions about this book.
As dedicated as I thought you were.
Come in, come in. I'll make some tea.
So I realized I'm less of a Todd,
and more of a Kyle.
I'm legally having my name changed.
[laughing]
Things are sure going to be different now
that Dr. LeGaes is gone.
I'm back
No!
You know I can hear you, Dee Dee.
What happened to your movie?
Creative differences, my dear.
Those Hollywood amateurs didn't understand my genius.
Tell me all of your time traveling secrets,
time disruptors.
Before I evil Thomas Edison conduct electricity through you.
[bell ringing]
Hey, does anyone else smell bananas?
We'll start right where we left off.
Everyone take out your Death of a Sailorman scripts.
We threw them away.
What? Who? Where? When? Why?
Because it was hacky and uninspired.
We want something real.
[cheering]
Enough of this codswallop. Take out your dramatic produce.
Ow! Ow! Ooh!