- I feel nothing.
- Do you believe that you are enough?
- Am I emotionally intelligent?
- You're very defensive when you date.
- It hurts, like, I hurt myself, I self-sabotage.
- This person, he's already interested in you.
- You reply to these men who are saying hello, how are you?
No.
So how are you gonna meet a guy?
- How far am I willing to go for love?
(upbeat synth music)
Hello people of the internet, welcome to my self-discovery.
I'm becoming more open to love.
And I'm just gonna be honest, I don't like who I am
as a person when it comes to love.
Therefore, I'm gonna try to be more open
to love in three different ways.
The first way, I'm just gonna Google it,
because we live in the information age,
and there's a lot of great resources in the internet.
Hopefully it can fix all my problems.
The second way, I know there's obviously something deeper
as to why I feel stuck, so what better way
than a live therapy session?
The last way I'm going to become more open to love
is by getting a love reading from a curandera and a limpia.
So I wanna make sure I get my mental health cleared,
but also anywhere in my spirit that has any blockages,
I wanna clear that.
Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that after all this,
I am going out on a date, so...
(cheerful plodding music)
Oh, there's eight tips.
This looks pretty promising.
Eight tips to opening yourself up to love this year.
I'm sold.
Number one says start with yourself.
Write down all the good qualities you have as a mate,
and all your bad qualities.
You get what you attract.
Oof.
What have I been attracting?
I just have to pick one good quality.
This is gonna be a long video. (chuckles)
One bad quality, none.
What?
I don't know, I have an attitude sometimes.
Let me just think of one good quality.
I don't know.
Can I skip it?
I am a good communicator.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Other than superficial things, like I'm pretty.
I don't need to improve on that.
I think I'm gonna come back to this.
Number two says get off internet dating.
So I gotta delete all my apps?
I have to delete my dating apps.
- (gasps) Why?
- 'Cause Google said to.
Delete Tinder.
- Wait, there's one more message.
Look at all these matches you haven't even talked to.
- He's cute.
- He's cute!
- But they're all boring!
- Have you even said hello?
You reply to these men who are saying hello, how are you?
No.
So how are you gonna meet a guy?
Thank you, that's it.
- You met your boyfriend on a dating app?
(gasps)
Number three says clean up your living space.
Done!
Number four says get rid of things
that remind you of your ex.
We used to eat Mexican candy together.
- Who?
- Number five, forgive yourself for being single.
Maya?
(sentimental piano music)
Hi.
I forgive you for being single.
Thank you!
I don't know what that means.
What does it mean?
I don't know what that means, but...
It sounds good.
Number six, know the qualities
you really want in a potential partner.
Make a list of things that you want and stick to it.
I know what I want is someone who's confident.
I want someone who has their (bleep) together,
just like I have my (bleep) together.
Passionate about their job,
but also passionate for life and for me.
Emotionally intelligent.
Am I emotionally intelligent?
I think so.
They have to be really cute.
I think that's good, I feel really good.
Seven, spend time with successful couples
and watch how they interact.
I guess I can ask my friends
who have had successful relationships.
All right, so I have my manager, A.T. here,
who is in a successful relationship, she's married.
- Happily married.
- What is your advice to become more open to love,
and how do you think I should become more open?
- I think you need to go on more dates.
I think you just have to be open
to being rejected and being vulnerable.
- I'm here with another person
in a successful relationship who is also married.
I went to her wedding, it was beautiful and amazing.
- I think sometimes love presents itself
in a way that you weren't expecting.
And also remembering that nobody's perfect.
Perfect person will be the person
that you find reminds you of home, basically. (laughs)
(soft reflective music)
- I love that, that's what my parents say about each other.
They're like, when I think of your dad,
I think of home, and vice versa.
Number eight, listen.
(soft reflective music continues)
- I'm Adriana Alejandre,
and I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist
here in Los Angeles.
What goal do you want to begin fulfilling today?
- I mean, the general goal is to become more open to love.
You know, my perspective is optimistic,
but there's something holding me back,
and I kind of don't know how to deal with that.
- So there's barriers around you, and you wanna learn
how to knock 'em down, or push them aside.
- I feel like I focus so much on my career
throughout my life, that I kind of forgot
to focus and practice dating, and relationships, and love.
- Are you afraid of it?
- What scares me is putting myself out there
and being rejected.
- So the more intimacy that there is in your life,
the more anxiety that enters.
Is that about right?
- Yeah.
- You know, start paying a little bit more attention
to how this anxiety is manifesting.
But it's definitely bothering you in your relationships
to a point where it's creating that barrier,
it's one of the barriers that we're talking about.
I think personifying it, like, you know,
if it's anxious Juanita, talking to her,
like, okay, this is Juanita talking right now,
it's not Maya.
How would you describe your self-esteem
when it comes to being in relationships?
- I am very self-conscious about my personality.
Everything that comes with it, my career.
I reserve some part of me
because I'm afraid of being too much.
- So you're not even your true self?
- No, and it's...
I want to show that, I want to give that,
(peaceful music)
I just don't think I let myself, and I don't know how.
- I think one of the first steps for you
that you have fulfilled is creating this awareness,
awareness as to when these behaviors are coming up for you.
Step two, which is identifying
when you're in these situations,
how to best decrease that actual anxiety going on for you,
but also of like, anti-love, anti-dating, anti-Maya.
You have a lot of criticism
of your own self going on as well.
- As soon as you said like, criticism for myself...
- Yeah, what's going on for you?
- I'm just so hard on myself to where,
like, I think that I'm like, oh,
so-and-so didn't wanna be with you
because of A, B, and C, and this person's
probably not gonna be with you because of this.
You need to protect yourself, you know,
and it hurts, like, I hurt myself, I self-sabotage,
and I think that's another big part of not being open,
is because I stop myself.
- We don't wanna keep hiding things under the rug anymore.
We wanna bring it out and face it,
even your thoughts, you know, they're mean to you.
More than anything, I think for you,
it's giving yourself more credit.
Maya, if they can't handle you, then they're not for you.
You need someone that can keep up with you.
Thank you so much for being so brave today, and vulnerable.
I know this wasn't easy, but you did it, and you are enough.
(thoughtful music)
- My name is Patricia Federico, I'm a wellness practitioner
and an ancient healing arts practitioner.
I've been doing my work for 27 years.
Today we're going to be doing energy cleansing, a limpia,
and we're gonna be giving Maya a love reading.
A love reading involves invoking your angels of love.
The limpia will involve going through the similar process
of connecting to the terra, to the earth,
and recognizing your own power.
So the result of doing the reading and the limpia
is empowerment, healing, and compassion.
- This is the last step to this video.
I need to do this.
This journey so far has been eye-opening.
I thought it was gonna be like, a little less dramatic.
But it's me we're talking about.
This stuff is really important to me,
and I take this really serious.
Let's go.
- I'm just going to see what
I'm being guided to share with you.
This person already has his eyes on you,
he's already interested in you.
(laughing)
- 'Kay.
- Don't be fearful, he's not a creep or anything like that,
or he's not creeping, but he's just really attracted to you.
A little apprehensive to come up to you
because there's a little bit of insecurity that he has,
and he sees you like, this big, bright star.
So be open to receiving this person.
- I'm like, who?
(laughing)
- He has dark hair, he's tall.
- So is it someone I already know?
I don't feel you know of him, he knows of you.
- Interesting.
- Yeah, I strongly believe that there's been a few things
that you've worked on, that you've been clearing away,
that's why this is getting closer for you.
There's a lot in store for you.
Embrace it and live in the moment.
We're ready to let go of any emotional energy
that's hindering you from receiving love in all its forms.
And so I'm gonna have you close your eyes
just for this part, and I'd like you to focus
on your energetic roots going deep into the earth.
Put your roots into the earth,
you're being anchored in spirit, anchored in heart,
and allow you crown to receive the energy from the cosmos,
from the stars, from the sun, from the moon.
So that emotion that you'd like to release
that is not serving your highest good,
at this time, in this place, right here, right now,
I want you to let it go.
Allow Maya to continue to speak her truth.
May her truth open many opportunities and love.
(speaking Spanish)
And so it is.
When you're ready, open your eyes.
- It feels like I was like, just trapping myself
in this like, box of bitterness,
and being defensive, and trying to protect myself,
and it feels really good to be free.
- Yay, I'm so excited for you.
- Thank you again.
- You're welcome, you're welcome.
- Well, it's finally time to test out everything
that I learned on an actual date.
This was kind of a blind date suggested by a friend,
and my friend told me that he was kinda goofy and funny,
and I was kind of excited to get to know him.
(slow pleasant music)
(record scratch)
So that date wasn't exactly a match,
but it was definitely the first step
that I needed to move forward
in this new perspective I have about love.
At the beginning of this journey,
I honestly wasn't taking it seriously.
You can definitely see my struggle trying to figure out
just one positive affirmation about myself.
During the therapy session, it got pretty real.
I didn't realize how much of myself
I was actually hiding in relationships.
I kept trying to find a way to become more open to love
thinking that I would find the answer
and become magically healed.
But I realized that openness comes
when you fully accept yourself,
and trust that regardless of who doesn't want you
or who does, you are still enough.
As for now, I don't really know how my dating life
will look like from here on out,
but I do know that I feel like I can walk into any date
feeling more confident, and know who I am
with or without that person.
And, uh, turns, I'm pretty cool.
(upbeat synth music)