- I've orgasmed.
(percussive music)
- So I'll start with kind of like my ish.
I kind of like stayed away from sex for a while
but then I went to college, had that college experience.
It's kind of progressed a lot from there.
- Was it your first orgasm in general or with someone else?
- With someone else.
- For me personally, I was never really concerned
with like dating or a relationship.
And then I met this guy in class and our first hookup
like did not go as planned as I feel like it never does.
- Yeah.
- Then I like came out to California and I started like
dating and I think that's when like I had my first orgasm.
I feel like there were times where like you fake it
'cause like, you know,
you might love him or you might not love him and it's like
lemme just do what I can in this moment.
- There was something just sus about her.
She's too sweet to be able to like say her piece in bed.
I didn't finish because of a partner
until I realized I was lesbian.
So I was just like with a guy after guy after guy
and I was like, "Why isn't this working?"
- Something isn't working here.
- Like something's just not clicking.
And I definitely thought it was like
something about me or my body.
Like I thought I was being difficult.
And then I was like, "Oh it's not a me thing like at all."
- Yeah.
- Four years ago was when I got sexually active
and my first time also was terrible.
It was with this situationship.
- Wait so when did you have your first orgasm?
- With a partner would be four years ago,
when I was in that situationship.
- Oh, like even though it was like not great.
- Yeah, that first time was bad,
but we still, yeah.
- Oh okay, okay, work.
- You think, shoot, I wish I stopped after.
- You wish you cut it loose. - Yeah
- I didn't have my first orgasm
with a partner until I was like 21.
I feel like that goes into a lot of sex education
and being taught like sex is for like
babies and not to achieve orgasm
but it happened.
- [Jada] Yes!
- [Hayley] And now it keeps happening.
- I would say the first time I actually
orgasmed with a partner, I was 21.
It was just kind of funny 'cause I
didn't think I was gonna lose it until I like got married.
I'm like third generation like hyper-religious family.
So, church girls.
- I like hear you in everything
(bell rings) - It was rough.
(percussive music)
- She was like giving me like young innocent vibes.
- Just off of like initial stories,
I felt like hers was the most vague.
- Something she said threw off my gaydar.
I'm usually really good at detecting women who go both ways,
so that was a surprise.
- Wow.
- Really?
- Well, bye Mia.
- Bye.
Just based off of the first initial take,
it's kind of hard to relate to my story
where it seems very like fantastical or weird
so it kind of makes sense.
- I have a question.
What was your best sexual experience?
- Sexual experience or best orgasm?
- Oop.
- Ooh, I would say, I like seeing it like experience.
- You wanna share first?
- Sure!
I would say actually recently I went
for my friend's birthday.
- [Jayce] Fun.
- And we went out to a bar.
That was my first time going home with somebody.
- Oh wow.
- And I think that was my favorite for sure,
just because the spontaneity of it
and the guy was older
so he just really knew what he was doing.
- I love that.
- I feel like mine isn't the like best one to go off of
but it was the best experience for me.
I was on my period so, maybe TMI, I don't know.
- No.
- But there was just something about it,
I was like, "I don't care, you don't care,"
and then it just happened
and I was like, - That's hot.
- Ugly face, everything.
- See I've had guys where they're like,
"ugh, like, we need to stop."
So I've had multiple experiences years back with older men,
like mid thirties to forties.
There was one experience, like,
it wasn't planned like it was just in the moment.
And like he just knew what he was doing
and it's the like, you know, grabbing me, and like just-
- The rough
- Yes, yes!
- I've been in theater.
That doesn't feel convincing to me.
- I think for me was actually like
a guy that I had just met in college.
Me and my friends always make the joke,
like if they ask me where I'm going like,
"oh I'm gonna go see Rocket Ship,"
'cause that's what I called him,
like that's what it felt like.
In that moment when you've never had an orgasm
and it happens, I just feel like it's like stars, just like
- [Sarah] Yes!
- That's what it felt like to me, so.
- For me, this threesome I had with
the well known guy and his girlfriend,
he had like a playlist like Drake and The Weeknd
and like it was just, you know,
it's a lot of like sexual tension in one space.
- That's like the main part of it I feel like
is not just like specifically the sex
it's the experience of it.
- Exactly!
- 'Cause me specifically like I'm not gonna come
just from like, you know?
- Well that's what I was gonna say is like,
I wouldn't say it was like the best sex of my life
but when I think like sexual experience,
that's the first one, 'cause there was such a mood
and of course like since I'm like the guest star,
I'm like extra paid attention to.
- Yeah, yeah. - Yeah.
- So I was like doing things.
I was on like my head doing like a handstand.
- I love it.
- It was crazy.
- So with that in mind,
like what doesn't orgasm actually feel like to you?
Because I said it feels like a spaceship.
- Honestly like for me, your body like tenses up.
It kind of feels like melting sometimes.
But then sometimes like if you change the momentum
and it's slow, it feels like butterflies and bubbles.
You know what I mean? - Yeah.
- I feel like every orgasm to me is like
definitely different.
- One way of putting it is like I feel like I'm gonna pee.
Like I have to focus, like I have to make it happen.
Otherwise, like if I stop thinking about it,
then it doesn't.
- [Etasha] I'm the same.
- I've heard some people like say that
who aren't like really experienced sexually,
so I was like maybe she's just trying to go off
like internet resources.
- I feel like I honestly blank out.
- It's an outta body experience.
- I know everyone says it, like, is white hot
but I just blank out.
I feel like it's just like one of the few times
I can really like let go and just be present
'cause my brain is just always going on.
- So it depends if it's the first orgasm,
'cause I have this thing where like
once I come I can like keep coming
like 10 times like in a row.
I've had orgasms where it's just like yours
where it was like I really had to like
concentrate to get there.
And then others where I'm like, you know
I'm like oh my God.
I had listen to Celine Dion after.
I was having a moment. (bell rings)
(percussive music)
- Her recollection of her orgasm,
it felt very like by the book.
- I was like, it's Sarah, Jada.
But then Jada was like, "oh I call my guy rocket man."
You only give nicknames to some good (beep).
- Oh.
- No!
- I think I said something about
it taking so long for me to get there with a partner.
And then when I said church girl, I was like
maybe I shouldn't have said that.
- Okay wait, I have a question.
When did it come to the understanding,
or if you always had it,
where an orgasm is about both people?
- Yeah, I would say in college, 'cause I like you,
I wasn't really into it sexually.
That's when I was interested
in learning about other people especially.
You know what I mean?
- Yeah.
- After I left my four year relationship,
he had told me like "oh no one's ever gonna love you,
like no one's ever gonna wanna have sex with you again."
Like literally those words.
And every partner after that I've been like focused on them.
- Mm
- Like it's never been about me.
It's always been about how can I please them.
- I was thinking okay, well maybe she switched tactics
and that's what really brings her pleasure,
is bringing other people pleasure.
- I was never really a sexual person anyway.
Like I had the purity ring,
I was saving myself for marriage.
- My answers around church,
I was raised like super Catholic, and so for me
it didn't even really conceive in my head that like,
"oh this is for women too,"
because everything is so like giving, serving for the man,
cooking, cleaning for the man,
having a household for the man.
I didn't even literally start like thinking like
"I wanna come too!"
Till I was like 21 and that was like our cultural influences
and women talking about sex and being more open.
- It's for both people.
It's not just like me giving it all to you 'cause I'm like,
"what am I here for?"
- I have a question.
So how did you feel the first time
someone was able to get you there?
Like especially because it sounds like a lot of us had
religious backgrounds like - Yeah
- 'Cause I know the first time I felt it,
it took me a second to feel okay.
- Yeah.
And like I remember during the whole process
just feeling like I was being watched.
Like I have a lot of like deceased loved ones too.
So like just feeling like they were watching me.
- Am I doing something bad? - Right!
- No, you guys!
- I know!
- That's what's like put in your mind though.
- It is, it is.
- Like mentally what you go through.
- Then later on it's like,
"shoot, they can watch what they want to."
(bell rings)
(percussive music)
- One of the things was the white shirt.
I don't know, when I think of white I think of purity.
She also said something about how
she wanted to save herself for marriage.
She had a purity ring.
So I'm like, if you add all those things together...
- It felt like she was kind of like
talking a little too much and trying to explain her story
to where we believed it.
What?
Okay.
I felt like I was very authentic with my story.
I think I talked a little more about my
past experience with my Christianity.
Plus the white shirt.
I think they kind of went for that too.
- No, I knew it! (beep)
No!
- I knew it! I knew it!
- Shut up!
- I'm so bad at this.
- No!
Not you!
I'd like to think I had intuition.
When the light turned red and there was three of us,
I was like, "I knew it was Jada!"
And it wasn't!
- I have never come from someone else giving that to me.
I enjoy sex all the time.
I just, nobody has really
taken the time to learn how to make me come, I guess.
So I love talking about sex
because I think that there's this narrative that
everybody should be able to come just, you know.
And I don't, and I still have fun
and I still learn a lot about myself.
- Wow, you got us good.
- Yeah!
I was nervous.
- Never would've guessed.
- My biggest goals today was to
use my authentic experiences without inherently lying.
- Probably should have paid more attention to her.
Yeah, that's a woman that gets what she wants and she did.
Dang it.
- Holy (beep).
And I wanted to come here today to show that
sex is just so different for everybody
and you just have to find your way and you find your flow.
And just because you haven't orgasmed
doesn't mean that you don't have good sex.
- Yeah I just hope everyone can get inspired by this episode
to ask for their wants and needs during sex.
And hopefully you come and you come hard.