you're a baseball fan i know you're a
bit you're a big sports fan big baseball
fans big sports fan in japan okay well
listen
uh now we have this uh issue of who's
gonna get into the hall of fame and
they're not people like
letting people like bonds and clemens in
because obviously of uh steroid
uh use in the past what's your take on
that um
i don't know is it i said is it does it
matter no i don't i don't mind that
people
use roids i think they should use roids
because they're using themselves as
guinea pigs and it'll all trickle down
to us one day
and after they messed up you know their
heads get all big and they they take
that part out
i think i mean if enough athletes
you're saying you steroids try
themselves with steroids
they'll figure out how they already they
do it with singers if a singer can't
sing she gets to use a steroid
yeah right you say it's going to improve
it's going to improve the drug so that
we get to use them i'm saying by the
time we're 80 they're going to have like
a steroid vaporizer
that you can just inhale and you're
going to have abs i'll get a full head
of hair
and you're going to be banging some hot
65 year old and it's all going to be
because of these athletes and the
sacrifices that they make
that no one appreciates baseball now
it's not quite the way it used to be i
don't like that whole thing like when
you go to a game
if you catch a foul ball you got to like
give it to a kid now what are you
talking about
that's why kids are all mushy and fat
they don't have to
they're not going to work for anything
first of all i don't like when i was a
kid
i had to fight adults to try and get one
and i never got one and they boxed me
out and that was totally acceptable
in the 70s and 80s yes so now i gotta
sit there
take a line shot to my hand have that
swollen up and then i oh give it to a
kid
no declining ratings do you think the
nfl has a problem they're starting to
say they're losing viewership
now care people who care about football
st are still watching it they just
they got too big they just went all
poppy they had everybody dressing in
pink
right there's always jets flying over
support the troops katy perry is doing a
dance right they just they just took it
way too far
what i love about sports is it's a great
way to tap out from the news
and just you know watch a game and get
away from it now there's like all these
causes are getting like attached to it
like i was watching the world series and
i'm in the middle of watching the world
series and out of nowhere they have this
moment stand up to cancer
i'm watching a ball game and all of a
sudden everybody stands up
holding up a sign of somebody that they
either know that's dying of cancer or
died of it
in the middle of the game it's just like
what are you doing
trying to watch a game here you know no
there's a time and a place
look i know somebody
i know somebody that has died of cancer
i would never go to the movies with you
and in the middle of it hit pause and be
like oh by the way conan
i know this guy he died of cancer it was
horrific
i could have lifted him up off the sheet
with two fingers it was horrible hey
enjoy by the way i got molested when i
was nine
enjoy the rest of this gonna have a
super bowl party yes no
super bowl party no super bowl party if
you're true football fan
you do not go to uh super bowl parties
because it's all
a bunch of losers who don't watch it all
year
and what they do is they talk during the
game and then they shut up during the
commercial
and then the game comes back they're
like oh how do you think that one caught
huh
that's it funny i thought that one stunk
and it's just like i just the rage that
goes through me
through the game and i just you know
ended up fighting you know with somebody
so you just are opposed to
them having a party in the middle of the
super bowl like you know having a a
a half yeah i don't like it's the most
important game of the year and they turn
it into like this this
i don't know what it is i don't know
what it is anymore it used to be like a
little high school band came out
yeah played a little song right and then
that was it and now they just yeah
everybody's shooting t-shirts into the
crowd
i really sound like a grumpy old man but
i i just want to watch the game
right i'm just going to be me sitting
alone screaming at my tv
how much football do you watch a week i
watch i watch two games on sunday i tape
three
right then i watch the monday game and
then tuesday i watch one of the three
that i taped wednesday i watch another
one then i watch the thursday night game
and then friday i get watched the sunday
night game saturday i watch college
football
okay and it's fine okay because i have a
simple
male brain that can just sit there
and just just enjoy it i can just enjoy
it
so so does your wife watch any of these
games with you does she she has the
female
complex multitasking brain
that's why they can't be happy they just
they just always they're like what is
that lizard that can look at two things
at once
that's what they're like so they got the
shoes they want and then they see some
other women
walking and going oh look at this skinny
over here she thinks she's cute
right and like
that's what i've learned oh god you know
what makes women happy
nothing nothing makes them happy and
that is why they are slowly taking over
the nfl
because it ignores them that that we can
just sit there with like a pizza and a
drink like
that's not holding just just be like and
enjoy
ourselves so you're saying that you
because you're happy
that you think your wife and women in
general want to take jealous of it they
don't want
their own thing they don't want their
own they they want our
i don't know what it is and it's i think
it's because we're happy we're just
sitting there enjoying ourselves having
a good time without them
it drives them nuts and they just got to
go in there and ruin it i still watch
o.j simpson highlights
i do i'm a i'm a football fan
he's one of the top five running backs
of all time you're able to
compartmentalize but he's he's
all of that when he goes into a
restaurant they go murderer
marinara he's not just that he also won
the heisman trophy he's get 2
000 yards in a 14-game season it's just
like people
are very they're comfortable i think
anyone when he walks into a complex you
think when he walks into a restaurant
anyone yells out husband trophy
i would be i'd be adding stuff on you
know naked gun
making gun one and two i don't like how
they interview the coaches too when they
go to the half like in
half time yeah as they're running off
like i think they should just be able to
stay focused
on the game they shouldn't have to talk
to somebody like a skate parker
you're like yeah you know you're down by
14 uh what are your thoughts it's like
what the
what do you think my thoughts are sucks
i'm worried about my job i'll probably
have to sell my house
my wife's gonna leave me i need to score
more points in the other half
who are you why am i talking to you
you're not even in football
yeah did you even play to the high
school level no
no probably you took journalism yeah get
out of here
what about her yeah it's a bunch of
nerds
interrupting people who know what
they're doing
the thing that concerned me the most in
sports was i watched cleveland play a
home game
in november and it was 71 degrees out
and the pitchers were sweating and all
that no that's not a good thing people
this is the golden age of global warming
so take it in
stick your arm out the window before the
hell fires come um
always nice to cheer up the crowd that's
when you know you're in trouble
in the nfl's when you just stand there i
don't know what that means we got to get
it right
we didn't get it right we're going to
work on trying to get it right
so next time we got to get it right
i'm embarrassed for my actions i'm
embarrassed for the league
embarrassed for anyone on the same
continent as me
you didn't get it right we got to get it
right next time we're going to work on
getting it right
starts with that and then the next day
the guys on the sports talk radio you
know the and and guys
that connects all their thoughts with
that like they came out in the first
quarter and they were all over
those guys jump on it what did you say
where's where's the league
what kind of message what a message are
they sending out like i don't know it's
like
what message are they sending out do you
think i'm gonna see this guy hit a woman
and then i'm gonna do it
right right right i wasn't gonna hit a
woman but then that guy in the ravens
did it so i guess it's okay
they got a real problem it drove me nuts
the whole month they got a real problem
in the nfl it's compared to what
plumbers electricians society in general
there's a lot of great people that play
football
the league's going to be fine a lot of
new england fans get upset that brady
didn't catch that pass
super bowl he should have laid out he
should have extended his whole body and
grabbed it
you know what was funny was when on that
play you actually saw his age
you know if you when he stands in the
pocket he looks 25
the second he starts running it's like
dude i could d this guy up
like did you see last year last year
when he threw that pick six when he dove
to tackle that guy it looked like
somebody threw a dead body out of a car
like like his arm moved and that was it
but he's standing
when he stands in the pocket he looks
like an astronaut yeah
these guys he's going to live forever
yeah like cocoon or something yeah
i go to a big college football game
rivalry game every year this year i went
to uh
university of miami versus florida state
and i had a great time insane fans but
uh
you know i made sure that when i saw
florida state it was an away game
because i actually like florida state
but that tomahawk chop thing
drives me nuts and it has nothing to
even do with the native american thing
it's the fact that they do it every like
three seconds
they they form a huddle and all of a
sudden the band starts playing every in
the crowd like
like and they never get sick of it it's
like the band knows one song it's like i
got it
you know it's funny you know what's
funny about that is you know like native
americans never even did that you know
like white people
came up with that in like the 1920s when
they were making like
they first got sound in movies like what
do they sound like i don't know
they got some more on on this setup so
just goes
that sounds good put some rouge on his
face
even if i was the biggest florida state
fan ever like even like halfway through
the first quarter i'm tapping out it's
like
can we get another song going here yeah
something i know i think i made the
point yeah you made them
i was talking to my buddy the other day
like what they would have to do to get
me to stop watching
you know i love football you watch the
commissioner could literally
punt a baby across this office
with his wingtips on i'm still gonna
watch on sunday
i don't condone the man's actions but
it's football i have to watch it this is
all i have