Even though we can’t control the future, we’re worrying ourselves sick because of
it. This could be because we don’t control the future. And this lack of control is the reason
it frightens us. Or, we think we can control it by ‘thinking about it’ or perhaps by praying to
deities… just to discover that the future remains unpredictable despite our efforts.
The ancient Stoics aimed to embrace the unpredictability of the future
and many other things that are not within the individual’s control.
Things that are not up to us should not be our focus; we ultimately cannot determine
their trajectories: trying to is a waste of time and generates fear and anxiety. These passions,
as the Stoics would call them, are detrimental to one’s tranquility of mind. We don’t want to
spend our precious time worrying about the next thing, do we? Yet, many people find themselves in
this dreadful state of continual worry, even about the most minor and unimportant things.
According to Epictetus, for example, we should exclusively focus on things in
our power and treat things that are not in our power with contempt. Even things
we’d consider significant enough to spend our mental energy on aren’t worthy of our worries.
If we’d only mind our own actions, thoughts, opinions, and pursuits,
then things outside of them will not be of our concern, and thus we’ll not worry about
them or anticipate them with fear; they’ll just come and go; like bouts of rain or ocean waves,
and we’ll maintain inner peace despite them. It sounds so easy and logical, but most people
will attest that this Stoic ‘ideal’ of the unperturbed mind is difficult and maybe
almost impossible to attain. But no worries: even a little bit of progress – a little less
worrying – most consider a welcome improvement. So, how can we stop worrying about things not in
our control – especially if it’s all we do? Luckily, in their writings, the Stoics left
us some valuable antidotes that could help us worry less in a universe out of control.
By the way, you’ll find more Stoic wisdom in this book - Stoicism for
Inner Peace - which contains my collected works on remaining calm
and focused in these challenging times. You’ll find a link in the description.
(1) Being prudent
We could see the act of worrying as a form of indulging. Worriers wallow in their many
thoughts about the future, all of them stories created by themselves. As if it were our favorite
television show or video game, we choose to entertain ourselves with these fantasies
and keep them coming to occupy our minds. But according to the Stoic politician and author
Seneca the Younger, doing so is not a good way to live. He argued that many times, the mind creates
false shapes out of what our senses perceive, making reality worse than it is. He stated:
The mind at times fashions for itself false shapes of evil when there are no signs that
point to any evil; it twists into the worst construction some word of doubtful meaning;
or it fancies some personal grudge to be more serious than it really is,
considering not how angry the enemy is, but to what lengths he may go if he is angry.
End quote. These fantasies may seem useful,
as we believe we can use them for anticipating the future. But by occupying our minds with all
these imaginations and speculations, we might cause unnecessary suffering for ourselves and
others. Panic is contagious. And so, if we spread doom and gloom, others will follow.
For example, we see a group of men approaching in the distance. We don’t know these men;
we don’t know where they’re from or what their intentions are. Triggered by the
sight of these men, we now come up with the wildest fantasies: they are coming to get us,
they’ll probably kidnap us, and then beat us up, torture us using the most brutal
methods. And with shaking hands and trembling legs, and while the sweat is pouring off us,
we tell others that our lives are over. Everyone starts panicking. But after a while,
even though they’re scary looking, these men simply pass us by. Some even greet us. So,
bottom line: nothing terrible happened. More often than not, our fantasies about
the future will not come to fruition. They don’t exist outside of our minds. Yet, many people spend
every waking hour creating and entertaining these fantasies nonetheless. But, as Seneca stated:
“..life is not worth living, and there is no limit to our sorrows,
if we indulge our fears to the greatest possible extent; in this matter, let prudence help you,
and contemn with a resolute spirit even when it is in plain sight.”
End quote.
So, Seneca offers us a solution we can use to buttress ourselves against catastrophizing:
being prudent. In this context, he seems to point to being mindful of our fantasies and keeping them
at bay as much as possible. So, even when there’s a clear sign that a threat could come our way, we
should still be prudent in regard to our thoughts about it, according to Seneca. So, it’s a form
of self-control, the control of how we engage in our thoughts, in this case, which takes practice.
(2) Not being a cowardly scout
In his Discourses, Epictetus talks about a cowardly scout who was sent to Rome and came
back in terror. The scout reported that the state of Rome is fearful: there’s death, there’s exile,
there’s poverty, and all these things are “terrible,” and that the enemy is upon them.
But when Diogenes was sent to Rome as a scout, he returned with a different
report. He did not deny what the other scout had seen: there was indeed death,
exile, and poverty. But instead of being in a panic about these things, he said:
“Death is not evil since it is not dishonorable. To sleep on the bare
ground is the softest couch. There’s no enemy near. All is full of peace.”
End quote.
When Diogenes was asked why he thought that no enemy was near, he stated:
“I have not been struck with any missile, have I,
or received any wound? I have not fled from anyone, have I?”
End quote. It’s not the
situation itself but how we perceive it that hurts us. The cowardly scout and Diogenes
both encountered the same state of affairs. But even though the scout perceived it as terrible,
Diogenes labeled it “full of peace.” The crucial difference between the two observations is
how they judge what they have seen. If you perceive the things you observe as terrible,
then it’s not surprising that you’ll worry about the possibility of them happening.
Because the scout dreaded so much what he had seen in Rome, in his thoughts, the enemy was
already upon them. But Diogenes perceived nothing he saw as a threat nor as “terrible,” so, to him,
there was no reason to worry. Of course, according to the Stoics, Diogenes saw the situation in
Rome more accurately. No enemy was approaching. Death, exile, and poverty are not “terrible,” as
these things do not conflict with virtue: they’re so-called ‘indifferents.’ ‘Indifferents’ are good
nor bad and don’t add or take away from a happy life – death, for example, is a ‘dispreferred
indifferent,’ meaning that even though it opposes human physical well-being (namely the end of it),
the notion and occurrence of death do not have to impact our happiness when we’re alive; death
is part of life, and it happens when it happens. So, the antidote here is to see things clearly
and assess whether or not they’re actually worthy of worrying about.
(3) Not being a beggar
According to the ancients Stoics, Zeus, the King of Gods, decides what happens to us, and no amount
of thinking and worry can stop this. Fortunately, this doesn’t mean we’re totally powerless. Zeus
gave us mortal human beings a special gift: the ability to choose. We may be incapable of going
against his government, but we can choose how we handle what he presents to us, no matter how grim.
Whatever Zeus does, wants, and decides is beyond our control. And sometimes, He can
be as fickle as Dutch weather. Desire something in the hands of Zeus, and you’ve set yourself up
for disappointment. Be opposed to something that Zeus commands, and you’ll be in for a rough ride.
And so, by worrying about what will happen or not happen, we let our happiness depend on the whims
of fate. The more we want something, the more we tend to worry about it. What if my husband
cheats? What if I lose my job? But no amount of worrying (or praying, for that matter) will change
destiny’s ultimate output. Why focus on what’s not up to us? Why not mind what is up to us? I quote:
Either the gods have power or they don’t. If they don’t, why pray? If they do,
then why not pray for something else instead of for things to happen or not to happen?
Pray not to feel fear. Or desire, or grief. If the gods can do anything,
they can surely do that for us. - But those are things the gods left up to me. Then isn’t it
better to do what’s up to you - like a free man - than to be passively controlled by what isn’t,
like a slave or beggar? And what makes you think the gods don’t care about what’s up to us?
End quote. So, this passage
from Marcus Aurelius’ meditations presents us with two ways to approach the future: focusing
on the things up to us or praying to the Gods to make things happen (or not happen), like beggars.
(4) Being content with fate
When we worry, it means that whether or not the future will please us depends on
the criteria we’ve put in place for it. We fear that the future will eventually unveil
itself without meeting our expectations. For example, we worry that we will lose our jobs,
as we desire a future in which we still have our jobs. Or we wish to be famous in the future,
so we worry that we’ll not be famous. We’ll be unhappy if the future doesn’t
give us what we want. We’ll also be unhappy if it gives us what we don’t want. In both cases,
we let outside circumstances that are not in our control decide how we feel.
Humanity, by and large, has tied its mental states to outside circumstances. And so, we often
spend our days searching for external sources of happiness and avoiding external sources of pain.
But by doing so, our suffering will be without end, as the external world is unreliable. And so,
we worry: will Fate grant our wishes or not? Will the Gods spare us from misfortune or not? So,
there would be two solutions to this problem; the first solution is to somehow manipulate Fate into
giving us precisely what we want so we don’t have to worry about not getting it. However, that’s not
possible, as the Stoics correctly observed. The second solution is to wish for exactly
what will happen. In the Enchiridion, Epictetus stated that if we wish that our children, wife,
and friends live forever, we’re stupid because we wish to control things that don’t belong to us.
But (said Epictetus), if you wish to have your desires undisappointed,
this is in your own control. Exercise, therefore, what is in your control. He
is the master of every other person who is able to confer or remove whatever that person
wishes either to have or to avoid. Whoever, then, would be free, let him wish nothing,
let him decline nothing, which depends on others, else he must necessarily be a slave.
End quote. According to the Stoics, if our contentment
does not depend on external circumstances, we’re truly free. Nothing that happens will disturb
us. And so, if we embrace anything the future provides us with, what’s left to worry about?
Thank you for watching.