By the way, last night there was a little bit
of drama-mia on the show, because...
controversy over my stupid shirt I wore.
I like it. This is my shirt from last night.
But people thought it was a kilt.
(laughter)
-And that really kilt me, that really... -(laughter, groans)
It looks like you're a waiter at an Italian restaurant.
It does. Oh, yeah, it looks like a...
-Yeah, an apron. -An apron.
-Yes. -And I was... -I love it. Always have.
I'm a trendsetter. I'm like Lady Gaga here.
I do feel it was a little long, but I didn't know backstage.
But once I got out here,
of course, you're looking for any reason to shit on me.
-I did... -(laughter)
I did storm Scotland during the commercials.
That's probably what threw people.
-And my balls were hanging out. -(laughter)
But enough about me. But today I'm really nailing it,
so I have nothing to worry about.
That's a very "black guy" outfit.
Sneakers, flannel shirt, that's very good.
-GLASER: Yes, yes. -Look at these things, man.
-What's up? -You need a stamp, like, "Black Approved."
Well, as we reported yesterday, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle
are leaving the Royal Family,
and the queen is reportedly not happy.
Soon after, Harry and Meghan's wax figures were removed
from Madame Tussauds, for real.
We didn't do that.
We could do that. We didn't do it.
It seems silly to us, but it's serious shit
over there, what's going on.
The queen's probably like, "Get Madame Tussaud on the phone.
I never want to see that wax figure again."
-(laughter) -They're like, "Oh, they already left.
They're already gone."
It's weird, they didn't even rearrange it
to make it look like they were missing.
Yeah, yeah, that's true.
If they wanted to make them mad,
you know what they should've did?
They should have put that Nicki Minaj wax figure right there.
Oh, yeah, with her ass up.
To really piss 'em off.
The one that looks like Chrissy Teigen, but...
-Yeah. -You know, they're moving to, uh...
-I know. -L.A.
They're totally moving to L.A. They haven't said...
-They say North America, but... -We know what that means.
-That's L.A. -She wants to be famous.
She found the guy to make her the most famous in the world,
and now she's over it, and she's like, "Oh, this isn't
-what I thought it was." -What's the point
of being famous in a castle, every day you're doing nothing?
She doesn't have "resting royal face."
She's a great diversity hire. She'll work a ton in L.A.
She should (bleep) get out here.
-SPADE: Great diversity hire. -And do we know he...
he doesn't want to be, like, a guest star on NCIS
-or some shit like that? -She can get him on Suits.
Everyone's like, "Suits, Suits, Suits..."
But I feel like you're right, she got all the rigamarole,
she got swept off her feet, she gets...
She's in LA. to be an actress, so she's okay with being famous.
Then she goes through the stratosphere over there.
They're all like, "Meghan crying!"
I'm like, "She was on Suits.
Is she that unbelievably great to worship?" But fine.
So, she goes over there, and then she gets the wedding,
and it's crazy, and then it's sort of...
This is about where people in L.A. get divorced.
-GLASER: Yes. -They got married, it was fun,
-and now they're like, "Mm, now what?" -GLASER: Yeah.
If she didn't marry him,
she would be on The Bachelor this season
fighting for Prince...
She would be Meghan M. from Sherman Oaks, barista.
-Barista. -She just got lucky.
She got so lucky.
Fighting for Peter the pilot?
-GLASER: Yeah. -Yeah.
-That's hilarious. -You want them to come here?
For real? Like, do you think that we really need
-more people to move to L.A.? -No, I don't want them here,
but I just know that, like, I don't...
I think she's moving here 'cause she's, like...
She wants to be friends with Jennifer Aniston.
Like, she could be, and Jennifer's just like,
"Oh, you're there. I'd hang out with you, but I can't."
And so she-she... They just want to be famous.
We've seen this already. This is like Superman II
when he gave up his powers for Lois Lane.
-TIANA: Get out of here. -He's like, "But, Mother,
Mother, I love her."
We have seen it.
I'm gonna settle them in here.
I'm gonna go, "Here are some basics.
"Soho House in Malibu
"is separate from the Soho House here.
"You have to pay twice,
so think about what you want to do with that."
There's a lot of stuff. I'll go over it all.
-They need to know the basics. -TIANA: You're, like,
-their guru. -But what about the Kardashians?
-They're gonna be hurt the most by this. -TIANA: Oh.
People that are famous and doing nothing, coming here.
-TIANA: Oh! -(laughter)
They should go there.
We should... That would be a good crossover.
It's the white version of Coming to America.
(laughter and applause)
It is, really.
-Yeah. -He's gonna be literally the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.