(both laughing)
- I really like you.
- Wait, you do? - Yeah.
- Ooh, I'm gonna have to pull back a bit.
- Wait, what?
- You reciprocating my feelings just freaks me out a little,
so I'm just gonna pull back a little bit
just to get a breather.
- Well, I mean, if you step back
then I'm gonna have to take a step back,
'cause I don't wanna get hurt here.
- Wait, now you're pulling back?
- Yeah. - Ooh, well you pulling back
because I'm pulling back, it's definitely
going to ignite abandonment and self-worth issues
and I have to chase you to prove that I'm worthy of love.
- Okay, you're chasing me now? - Yeah.
- Well that kind of activates my fear
of engulfment and my commitment issues
so actually I'm gonna need to pull back
even more. - Even more?
- Even more. - Ooh, okay.
Well now you seem emotionally unavailable
and that means I just have to like chase, chase
chase until I can't chase anymore
because I'm gonna feel like a worthless piece of shit.
So I think I'm just gonna back off for good now.
- Well now that you're backing off
my fear has kind of subsided, so, I'm back in.
- Okay. - Okay.
- So do you want a committed relationship?
Hello? Michelle?
Michelle,
why are you just moving your eyes around?
Michelle...
Okay.
I'm gonna take that as a no,
and I guess we'll just give up and go away.
- Well. - Yeah?
What where you gonna say?
Michelle? - Look, I really like you.
- I really like you.
- I just don't know if I'm ready for something serious.
You know? - No I don't know.
- Like, I don't know if I should be in a relationship,
it might distract me from my career.
- No, it doesn't have to, it shouldn't have to.
It should be great for your career.
- Well, now I feel like you're asking too much of me
so I think I gotta go. - Okay.
- You're not gonna chase me? - What?
- You're not chasing me.
- Yeah, I wanna chase you.
Like, obviously I wanna chase you.
That's all I know how to do.
But, I've been on this merry-go-round
like all my teens and my 20s, I'm 30 now.
I'm tired of this kitty ride.
I wanna go into like a different, more adult ride,
like a drive, like a road trip.
- A road trip? - Yeah.
Aren't you tired of going around and around and around
and just wasting time for years on end with partners
who give you just enough to hang on to
but have no intention of showing
up as a serious life partner?
Don't you wanna know what it's like to thrive
in a healthy relationship?
- I don't know.
I've only ever known this circle, this dance
the eternal push and pull ingrained
into my subconscious from years of my own unique traumas.
- Well, why don't we break that cycle
and give this a real shot?
- Oh, shit.
Oh my God, I totally forgot,
actually, I have another date.
- Wait, what?
- Anyway, you're really cool,
I'm rooting for you and I hope we can be friends.
- Huh? - Bye.
- There you have it.
Every dating experience I've had in the last three years
whittled down to one sketch.
I'm Anna Akana, and thank you to the Patrons
who supported today's video.
And thank you to daddy Squarespace,
the only man who has never let me down
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