my friends know that I'm pretty extra so
a typical conversation can go like this
Oh
oh my god Anna I spent so much money on
clothes this weekend oh well you look
dope girls so yeah money well spent but
I get you I also shelled out a ton of
money this month
oh yeah on wet clothes - no no I paid
someone to call me out on all of my
intimacy and commitment fears and
basically expose deep-seated emotional
issues surrounding relationships and
abandonment that I had no idea existed
well do you look good Thanks holy
you guys I signed up for a
life coach and a dating coach could have
some extras he'll and I wanted something
to complement the three therapist I
already they have but I've been learning
a lot too much for one video so today I
wanted to hone in on one piece of advice
I got from my dating coach that I have
found supremely helpful in my adventures
so I went on a date this guy and I was
talking to her afterwards and she asked
how'd it go was good he was cute and
funny and he's a creative person which I
like a lot and we have a lot of the same
goals whoa you know I want to point
something out to you you know you told
me all of these things about him that
you would see on paper but you know what
you didn't tell me his his man-size cuz
I didn't I never asked no no you didn't
mention anything about how you felt oh
he's this quality and he's that quality
but who cares
I mean first and foremost how do you
feel on that date comfortable safe or
did you feel self-conscious did you feel
like you could be yourself did you feel
like you have to put on an act in order
to get him to like you you're good
you're really good okay yeah it's such a
mind-blowing ly simple thing and when I
really started to think about it all of
my worst relationships
I felt bad in the beginning I felt
anxious not good enough judged
criticized but I was so enticed and
blinded by all the shiny qualities of
this person and the idea of them and
then I projected all of my hopes onto
them then I just totally ignored my
feelings simple right but how often do
we consciously ask ourselves that when
it comes to dating we're so concerned
with the other person do they like me
who are they are they compatible with my
life or are values aligned that we don't
even consider our feelings first or at
least I have it but now I know I'm Anna
Akana stay right here for a sponsored
message from a gal who makes me feel in
all of her talent bethany Radloff
thank you to better help for partnering
with me for today's videos as you guys
know I'm a huge advocate of therapy and
I started better help last month so I
could continue attending therapy despite
traveling all over the place for work
and it's been going really well
in a recent session my counselor told me
to create a self-care ritual that I
could do every day in the evening
whether that's reading for half an hour
having a skincare routine or even just
having a cup of tea and relaxing with my
cats having a ritual in place is
essential for decompressing and managing
stress so butter helps mission is to
provide anyone facing life challenges
with easy discreet professional
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professional counseling from a licensed
therapist after filling out a brief
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what you'd like to work on you're
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super easy and flexible and you pay one
low flat fee for unlimited counseling
which is awesome because traditionally
one session with a therapist can
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you can go to better help calm so
Chicana to sign up today
that's better help calm slash Akana
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