There's a lot of free food
that comes into our office, gifts.
Different shows, companies,
they send great stuff here, cakes, candies,
and people really enjoy eating it.
The problem is there's never enough to go around.
Recently, we found out that there's a secret email list
that goes around alerting certain special people on staff
that there's food here and they can come get it
before anyone else has a chance.
So what we've done is we've set out
a nice big ice-cream cake
and some cookies and some fruit at a table.
I've got an email right here.
We found the email list, the secret email list,
and I'm gonna send this out right now.
It says, "Our friends at E! sent over
"an awesome looking ice cream cake and some tasty snacks.
"Will go fast, looks delicious!
"Second floor conference room, now!"
I'm gonna send this out,
and we're gonna see which rats come to nibble at the cheese
and catch 'em in the act.
There's a hidden camera in the conference room,
and as you can see, the food is out.
Bombs away.
Okay, the message has been released,
and now we wait and see who shows up.
Here we go.
Okay, okay, Sharon Hardy's in first.
[Dixon] I'm gonna eat some grapes.
Okay.
What's going on?
Um, I was told there was cake.
You were told there was cake?
Mm-hmm.
[Conan] You were told in an email
that went out to everybody on staff?
Uh, yes.
Or?
Or just a few people on staff.
Okay, so just a few people were alerted
that there was cake.
Now, have you ever had any feelings of guilt?
Like, I'm getting tipped off before everyone else,
so I can get that nice, do you ever felt guilt?
A little bit, yeah.
You feel a little bit guilty.
We've actually spoken about it.
You've spoken about it?
We've spoken about it.
But it didn't stop you from doing it.
You, do you feel any guilt?
There was a time when I was not on the list,
and I'm glad I'm on the list now.
You're just glad that you're in a lifeboat,
you don't care about the other souls in the water.
Yes.
Okay.
I have a question for you.
The cake says, "Congratulations!
"From your friends at E!"
Did you have any questions about what we might be...
Yes, we all said that question.
Said what?
"I wonder what we're being congratulated for."
Yeah.
We thought maybe we were moving to E!
We thought that was like our next network.
You're on such thin ice with me, pal, okay.
I think this is a trap, the whole Foodies line up.
You call yourselves The Foodies?
Well, that's what the email list is called.
It's called The Foodies.
Foodies, I'm sorry.
You just spit, you just spit here.
Sharon, you're in such deep trouble right now.
First of all, can I say, I was watching.
We had closed circuit cameras watching.
You came in the room, and you went right for the cake.
Other people kind of walked around shy,
you went right for the cake and cut into it.
And you, weren't you promoted recently?
Yes.
You were promoted.
Yes.
I showed my trust and love for you by promoting you.
And this is how you repay me.
How come I wasn't on the list?
Didn't any of you ever think,
"Hey, Conan, his name's on the show.
"He's the guys that makes it happen.
"Who wants to put him on the list?"
Be honest.
I never thought about it, no.
I didn't realize you had an email address.
I thought you had enough things,
so I just wanted something for my own.
I'd like names.
Who's not here who's usually here?
Name names.
Christian Lynch, Sarah Bruno.
Jordan would be here, Jordan's normally here--
Jordan comes here a lot?
Yes.
Yeah.
Should we go get Jordan?
Let's get him!
Let's go.
Jordan.
What?
Tell me a little bit about the secret food list.
What're you talking about?
It's an email list that goes out
to special, privileged people
so that they can know about good food
that's coming to the show ahead of everybody else.
What's wrong with that?
What?
Why not save it for those that enjoy it the most?
How are you to determine who enjoys what the most?
I never claimed that I'm the one
that makes that determination.
So, did you get the email today
that there was ice cream cake?
People love just shoving food in their mouth
and may not appreciate what they're eating.
Why not save it for those that appreciate it?
Oh my god.
Have you been reading Ayn Rand novels?
So you think that you're superior.
You people think you're better than everyone else,
that you appreciate food more than other people.
No.
So, you feel nothing, you feel no shame.
No, I don't feel any shame.
Why would I feel shame?
Had you seen that email, would you have gone in
and taken the ice cream cake?
If there was an occasion to celebrate I would've
out of respect for the other person.
I don't particularly want ice cream cake right now.
How 'bout some extra virgin Napa Valley olive oil?
Why do you have this on your desk?
I like to have things on my desk that I enjoy.
Really?
That's funny, I don't see any gay porn.
So.
I've been told that more people
have shown up in the conference room.
Let's go see.
Hi, um.
What the hell?
How long have you been on this secret email list?
[Andy] Since the beginning.
And you never once thought, "Hey, Conan's not here?"
I don't think about you.
Except when I'm on camera.
What?
This is the Foodies' list, you don't eat.
Yeah.
What're you talking about?
It's not really the Foodies' list,
it's more the fatties' list.
It's not.
I caught Sharon Hardy, she's skinny as a rail.
How'd you get that frosting on your shirt, then?
You know how I got this, when I caught Sharon Hardy.
She started trying to explain herself,
and she spit frosting onto me.
(laughter)
She really did.
It's ridiculous.
[Andy] There, this is what it's all about isn't it?
Oh.
[Andy] See.
Oh, this is delicious.
[Andy] Yeah.
Well, anyway, I think that pretty much
wraps up this episode of Let's Catch People Eating Cake.
What a waste of everyone's time.
(laughter)
Get back to the show, enjoy.