♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,
WE'RE BACK WITH THE HOST OF "PATRIOT ACT" HASAN MINHAJ.
WELL, CONGRATULATIONS ON THE NEW BABY.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S IT LIKE-- THIS IS YOUR SECOND CHILD.
WHAT'S IT LIKE TO HAVE BABIES IN COVID, UNDER QUARANTINE?
>> WE HAD THE BABY RIGHT AS COVID WAS HITTING THE STATES,
AND WE'RE VERY LUCKY, YOU KNOW.
SHOUT-OUTS TO MOUNT SIME EAST.
BABY BOY WAS BORN HEALTHY.
BUT IT WAS WEIRD, MAN.
LIKE SEEING, YOU KNOW, DOCTORS WITH, LIKE, YOU KNOW JUST, LIKE,
DISH WASHING GLOVES AND DONATED P.P.E.
IT WAS A REALLY -- >> Stephen: WOW.
>> STRANGE THING.
AND HE'S PART OF THIS NEW GENERATION OF KIDS.
THAT'S, THEY'RE THE -- >> Stephen: DO THEY HAVE A
NAME?
OUR QIDZ KIDS SPLIT BETWEEN MILLENNIAL AND GEN-Z., I THINK.
>> STEPHEN I HEAR THEY'RE CALLED GEN-C.
I THOUGHT QUARANTEENS WAS THE WAY TO GO.
BUT IT'S GEN-C.-C.
>> Stephen: THEY EVENTUALLY WLL BE THE QUARANTEENS.
>> STEPHEN YOU KNOW THERE'S A WAR RIGHT NOW.
>> Stephen: THERE IS.
>> YEAH, BETWEEN THE GENERATIONS.
>> Stephen: WHO'S WINNING.
>> RIGHT NOW A FULL-ON ONSLAUGHT-- IT'S A MASSACRE
RIGHT NOW GEN-"Z" HATES MY GENERATION, THE MILLENNIALS.
FOR A LONG TIME THERE WAS A BIG THING BETWEEN MILLENNIALS,
GEN-X., AND WE COLLECTIVELY HATED THE BOOMERS.
BUT RIGHT NOW, MY GENERATION, WE'RE GETTING OUR ASSES HANKED
TO US.
WE'RE GETTING MADE FUN OF OUR DIETARY HABITS.
WE'RE GETTING MADE FUN OF OUR LOVE OF POP CULTURE AND HARRY
POPTER AND 90s TELEVISION.
AND I'LL BE HONEST-- A LOT OF MY CORE DEMOGRAPHIC HAS BEEN
RIPPING ME A NEW ONE IN THE INTERNET COMMENTS.
>> Stephen: DO YOU ENGAGE?
>> I HAVE.
>> Stephen: DON'T ENGAGE!
>> I HAVE ENGAGED.
I HAVE ENGAGED.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE OUT-NUMBERED.
>> I'LL TELL YOU WHAT THE GIVEAWAY IS.
THEY'LL BE LIKE, "THAT JOKE IS SO CRINGEY."
AND I'LL BE LIKE, "REALLY, BRANDON.
YOU'RE UNEMPLOYED.
WHAT AM I DOING?
THIS GUY IS NINE YEARS OLD.
BUT I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE CRAP FROM A PERSON WHO IS DUNKING ON
ME WITH THEIR OLDER SISTER'S CRACKED iPHONE 6S.
>> Stephen: SO YOU RECENTLY DID AN EPISODE OF "PATRIOT ACT"
CALLING OUT TRUMP FOR NOT TAKING THE PANDEMIC SERIOUSLY.
FIRST OF ALL, WELL SPOTTED.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE CLUES WERE.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: THAT YOU TEASED OUT OF HIS BEHAVIOR.
>> WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT A UNIQUE TAKE, STEPHEN, I WOULD SAY THAT
ONE-- IT WAS JUST-- IT WAS RIGHT THERE.
WE PICKED IT UP.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET THAT ANYWHERE ELSE.
THAT'S WHAT YOU GO TO "PATRIOT ACT" FOR.
TELL ME ABOUT THIS-- TELL ME ABOUT THIS TRUMP GUY.
SO-- WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF HIM HOLDING THE RALLY IN TULSA ON
SATURDAY?
>> LOOK, I THINK IT'S SO INTERESTING.
YOU KNOW, FOR THE LONGEST TIME I FELT LIKE, AS A COUNTRY WE'VE
BEEN LOOKING FOR LEADERSHIP, AND RIGHT NOW WE DON'T NEED A
PRESIDENT.
I THINK WE NEED A COMMISSIONER.
I FEEL LIKE N.B.A. COMMISSIONER ADAM SILVER HAS DONE A GREAT
JOB.
HE'S MANAGED 50 TEAMS BETTER THAN TRUMP HAS MANAGED 50
STATES.
>> Stephen: SURE.
>> WHILE THEY'RE EASING THINGS BACK IN I FIND IT KIND OF
TERRIFYING THAT HE WANTS TO FULL-ON RAW DOG THAT 'RONA THIS
WEEK.
I CERTAINLY HOPE PEOPLE WEAR MASKS.
>> Stephen: EVIDENTLY, THEY'RE GOING TO GIVE THE MASKS AND HAND
SANITIZER, BUT THEY'RE SAYING YOU DON'T HAVE TO USE THEM.
>> IT'S OPTIONAL.
>> Stephen: IT'S OPTIONAL.
>> MY THING SITHINK THEY CAN MAKE IT WORK IF THEY JUST
REBRANDED THE MASKS.
WE HAVE TO THINK OF MASKS-- BECAUSE IT'S BECOME THIS CULTURE
WAR.
BUT WE HAVE TO THINK OF MASKS AS BUMPER STICKERS FOR YOUR FACE.
>> Stephen: I LIKE IT.
I LIKE IT.
>> JUST PUT WHATEVER YOU WANT ON IT.
>> Stephen: LIKE RECOMMENDATIONS.
>> HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE IS THE ( BLEEP ).
>> Stephen: THIS ISN'T NETFLIX.
YOU CAN'T SAY THAT ON CBS.
>> WE HAVE A-- OKAY, ALT, ALT.
5"G" CAUSES COVID.
>> Stephen: I HEARD THAT.
>> THE ONE I REALLY LIKE IF I WAS AT RALLY WOULD BE, "MARY
CHRISTMAS, SAY IT BACK."
WHEN I USED TO BAG GROCERIES AT SAFEWAY-- I USED TO BAG
GROCERIES AT SAFEWAY, AND DURING CHRISTMAS YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY
"MERRY CHRISTMAS.
AND ONE OF OUR MANAGERS HE GOT REALLY MAD, DEXTER, AND ONE TIME
HE WAS RINGING UP AND I WAS BAGGING GROCERY, AND SAID "MERRY
CHRISTMAS" TO A YOUNG LADY.
AND SHE DIDN'T SAY IT BANNING.
AND HE GOES, "MERRY CHRISTMAS.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, SAY IT BACK."
AND I HAVE NEVER FORGOTTEN THAT.
>> Stephen: TO A CUSTOMER.
>> TO A CUSTOMER, "MERRY CHRISTMAS, SAY IT BACK."
>> Stephen: THAT'S DICEY.
HASSAN, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
OBVIOUSLY, MERRY CHRISTMAS.
>> YOU, TOO, MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU, TOO.
>> Stephen: NEW EPISODES OF "PATRIOT ACT WITH HASAN MINHAJ"
ARE ON NETFLIX EVERY SUNDAY.
THAT'S EVERY SUNDAY.
>> EVERY SUNDAY!
>> Stephen: HASAN MINHAJ, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY JASON ISBELL AND
THE 400 UNIT.
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪