Hello, everybody.
It's Tuesday.
And I say that because--
as a public-service announcement for those of you in quarantine
and who forgot what day it is.
It's hard to remember sometimes.
But it is Tuesday.
It's 2021, for those of you who have already
forgotten the year.
My memory isn't what--
what's the word for it--
good.
So I came up with a game to put my memory to the test.
It's time to play Did I Do That?
Here's how it works. tWitch is going
to ask me whether I've done something on the show.
And I'm going to guess if I did it or not.
And if I-- we'll say.
All right, Ellen, first one.
Did you pretend to ride a roller coaster with Jude Law?
Did I pretend to ride a roller coaster with Jude Law?
That does seem like we've done that.
Yes, I do believe we did.
Yep.
Am I right?
Yep, let's see it.
[DING]
So they can add anything in behind us.
Yeah.
I actually-- we could just kind of stand up.
Oh, you sit like that?
Yeah.
[SCREAMING] Pull the lip.
[LAUGHTER]
Or you can do that.
[APPLAUSE]
All right, what's next?
All right, number two, did you try
to hook up Justin Bieber with Diane Keaton?
Did I try to hook up Justin Bieber with Diane Keaton?
I would never do that.
That's not true.
I don't--
Did I do it?
I think you did it.
[BUZZER]
Are you excited that it's Bieber week?
Oh, yeah.
I like that boy.
Yeah, he's a man, now.
He's 21.
Even better.
Yeah.
Better for me.
He's very--
Woo!
OK, that is not possible.
I have not seen that.
That is gorgeous!
Yeah.
Wow!
I mean, OK.
Now we're talking.
I know.
Are you a cougar?
Do you consider yourself a cougar?
Well, I'd like to.
But, you know, I haven't had the opportunity.
Uh-oh, did you see--
oh, oh, my god, oh!
Oh, no!
[CHEERING]
All right, maybe I did.
You can't blame me for that.
All right, what else?
OK, did you get a lap dance from Neil Patrick Harris?
No.
You're right.
That never happened.
[DING]
No.
Yeah, you're right.
I did get some lap dances on this show, but not from him.
Yeah, you actually got them from Usher and Channing Tatum.
That's right.
That's where the lap dances came from.
Yes.
Let's see them.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I did not deserve that wearing that vest.
All right, what's next?
I mean, why would you give me a lap dance if I'm
wearing a vest like that?
That's just ridiculous.
All right, Ellen, did you ever deliver a pizza to a fan?
Did I deliver a pizza to a fan?
I don't think I did.
I don't remember that.
All right, let's see.
[BUZZER]
That smells good.
Take a bit out of something.
Get something out of there.
No.
Just one little bite.
No, come on, come on, come on.
All right, take one bite.
One bite?
What is in there?
No!
Really?
You know it happens all the time.
We're going to take one?
Really?
Just one piece.
And then put it back together.
And then put it back.
See if they say anything.
Ellen, we're going to get in trouble!
Is there anything to drink?
Pizza!
Hi.
How you doing?
We're delivering the pizza today.
OK, so you've got the cheese pizza.
Danny!
Two cheese.
It's Ellen DeGeneres!
I don't believe this!
So this is your cheese.
Thank you very much.
Did you have a piece?
Well, we didn't want to risk that it wasn't good.
So we-- on the way over, we-- yes, we did.
It was Crystal's idea.
And I said, don't do it.
And, you know, she's new.
I don't remember that.
But that was funny.
I don't remember that at all.
That was season three.
And then season two was Jude Law?
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah, the fun we had with people, huh?
Remember when we could interact with people?
Remember that?
I said, Mary, can you remember--
is there anything else?
Yes.
Did you thumb wrestle John Cena?
Did I thumb wrestle John Cena?
I'm going to say no, I don't remember that.
All right.
[DING]
It dinged.
So I was right.
Yeah, see?
You did not.
OK.
One more.
Last one, did you ever lick a country-music star?
Did I lick a country music star?
I did.
And I'll tell you who it is, Keith Urban.
You're absolutely right.
I remember who I lick.
[DING]
Are you looking for a cologne It's hotter than Tuscon
but not as hot as you.
Phoenix!
Burning.
Scorching.
Sizzling.
Yep, that's right.
If you're going to lick somebody,
it's got to to be Keith Urban.
He smells really good.