what is it that makes NLP so powerful when it comes to persuasion and
influence stay tuned. This is Damon Cart with NLP Gym the core of NLP persuasion
and influence if you haven't already please click subscribe to this YouTube
channel so you can give these videos on a regular basis pacing and leading is
the core of NLP persuasion and influence and it's not something that a lot of
people who take NLP trainings really practice in fact I know a lot of NLP
trainers who don't even know how to pace and lead that well in this video
taken from the live training I demonstrate pacing and leading check it
out I can pace his breathing I can pace his posture and then I can
pace his words I can listen to him speak and pick up on certain words he leans on
so an example that I'll ask let me just ask you this question what's important to
just answer that anyway you want to flexibility okay tell me more about that
I want to be open to options exploring new things and considering new options
okay so he's making it very easy because he's very specific words options
flexibility so I know these words are important to him so when I'm ready to
leave because we pace I'm pacing them and I can pace and say something like so
what you're telling me is that you really like options in here you're
looking to become more flexible and that's important to you in your personal
growth correct so he's going to it's not easy for him to agree with because I'm
using his exact words and you can you can do that without sounding too obvious
because I'm telling them okay so what I understand that you're saying is and
then I'm just kind of repeat back when he's saying and not I don't want to say
word for I want to make it sound a little bit
more like my own so to the time I'm just trying to imitate them the other thing
is I use the word led flexibility now that's not necessarily a sensory based
word but it's pretty close and looking at rusty and when I kind of know rusty
so I know he's kind of kind of static and flexibility sounds a little bit more
like a kinesthetic word so that kind of cludes me into he's probably processing
and a feeling since now if he went into what we call visual creditors so words
that are like look obvious imagine you clear that sudden that sort of thing
that I know he's accessing is his visual reps and so I'd probably want to talk in
pictures and visual terms if I make a point as I do you see my point
and if he's very visible he's going to be like yeah because when you can't
actually see a point I can describe something to you you can't see my life
literally but if you're making images in your mind it feels like you're feels
wrong coming right until trying to do kind of study print and so if he was
very auditory and he was using words that in the auditory system like all
that rings a bell it's a very auditory way to say something so then I know he's
processing through the auditory and if I then use package my message and auditory
terms like how does that sound to you know that sounds right yeah because
you're going to say at this point you can probably tell it's pretty obvious
that I have really good rapport with russki so here's where I start to lead
what I'll just play with this a little bit for demonstration purposes tell me
more about your flexibility it's about being able to flow and go in different
directions as I explore with another person how how flexible are they are
they willing to go with me in a certain direction healthy are they willing to go
is that scary for them that's kind of what that kind of sort of relates to
flexible okay so it sounds like what you're saying is that you're interested
in flexibility with other people it's not just for yourself right and that
you're probably looking with people who you have a natural flow with and we're
willing to go to those depths with you really definitely this that's what we're
they feel so you can see and kind of light and light a light up on this so
I'm just basically take giving him everything that he's telling me right
back to him but it's probably giving you a bit of a
sense that like I I kind of know you you're going young with you you know so
I'm this is what pacing is about I'm using his words I'm using this gestures
you not just a very kinesthetic sounds like so when you really have when you
really find someone or you can really slow with it and you have that
flexibility with and they go to those depths with you I bet that really feels
good to him I feel relaxed go realize I feel safe I feel like I have a lot of
room to work in and I can explore things and I bet when you see when you when you
when you see it that way it's almost like it's a big bright picture okay it's
dark and I can bring light into it okay it's not of any obvious we think it
could be discovered there okay so obviously he's very kinesthetic he's
been very kinesthetic words he's breathing deeply and I introduced the
visual part of it and right away as soon as I said it is eyes kind of went and
all directions like he's trying to find the reference for that now we're in
wearing sterling rapport he's probably going to find the reference for that and
to try to keep the conversation going if we're in report but that could also be a
rapport breaker and this is what you want to
know you want to know who's in front of you you want to know if they tend to
lean on one representational system more than the other and once you realize that
a regulator to build rapport is to speak to them in their representational system
what is it sitting on good goose bones ah very kind of study yeah so here are
some other things about our very 10 ascetic people and it's not always the
case but people who speak really fast today does that annoy you
yes okay this is very true for kinesthetic people because you tend to
take in the information that you're hearing and once you process it in your
feelings and that takes a little bit of time so if you're talking to a very
kinesthetic person and you're talking really fast like this they're going to
get annoyed and it's going to break rapport so how to pace someone like
rusty would be be like slow your words down and take deeper breaths and really
feel what you're saying so when you were talking about flexibility I could really
get a sense of that and then the feeling for that because I'm a person to who I
really value death great good brother ahead we can go places okay so on now I
noticed even shifted more today he shifted most of my direction now if I
were this fast-talking salesman and I was it from row to row rod he would be
able to door like he was sure yet you're just too much information too fast and
and that would not be respecting the way that you take in information now once we
gain rapport then we can start shifting toward leading and that would be once I
guess he gets a we're in tune and we're in that state of rapport and you should
feel that then I can start maybe gently introducing new ideas and it did
ways and so I could say something like if I wanted to get him to access
Israelite say you know that part you were saying about flexibility I'm
wondering because there's a way that you experience flexibility know whether you
feel it and then there's a way that I feel it I don't know how similar that is
so I'm just wondering if I receive like a movie of you being flexible what would
I see an explorer in a cave explore in our game okay with a flashlight cool
okay investing getting curious alright and
would I hear anything
whispers directions look here that kind of stuff okay
aha this shuffling of feet that's what I think okay and a connection because
we're in this dark place and works for so we're not doing it on our own we're
connected to each other and that gives safety okay so there's almost like we're
tied together okay this is so much fun so I lead them into a visual which he
goes because I start in his kinaesthetic system and then I lead them to an
auditory and and it takes him a moment but he goes there and then the finding
was he brought it right back to kinesthetic you brought it full circle
you're talking about a connection and that we're tied together so if we're not
in rapport at this point I don't know what we're in I mean it's definitely the
report so he's willing to go with me if I respect his way of communicating and
your rep system and it most of time does open up more or person whenever they
then relate one rep system to another so we want to visual to auditory and it
seems to strengthen the connection and now we're tied together yeah
check out my website NLP-Gym.com there you'll find some free online NLP
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