Okay, for the last time Archie. You cannot call your best friend: Jughead. It's a derogatory term.
But his head looks like a jug.
*sighs* I-it's a birth defect.
My dad doesn't think I can do music professionally.
What happened to your shirt?
Both Betty and Veronica want to sleep with me.
*dramatic exhale* We gotta save Pops.
Wow, you are very stupid...
...and very hot.
So, welcome to Westworld...
The most technologically advanced theme park in the world--
Yo, is this the place where we bone robots?!
Yes.
Aw! Cool! I've always wanted to bone a robot.
I'm a robot virgin.
*sounds of struggle* You're making a terrible mistake!
What did I do?
Uh, Jamie, you've been having sex with your sister.
Do you really think that's a good qualification around all of Westeros?
Ah, true.
Magnificent job, officer. Now, a true leader can sit the Iron Throne.
That's right.
A leader that doesn't engage in incest. - M'hm...
Like me... Jon Snow.
What? Oh--oh, you don't--
Oh-ho he doesn't know!
He hasn't--
He-- HO HO--
O-HO OHH
SNAP! This is gonna be a good season-- heck yeah!
Winter's never a good season.
You're under arrest.
Oh god, please don't taze me.
Oh, I'm not that kind of cop. I'm a cute, charming, endearing, cop.
I'm gonna make funny comments all the way back to the station.
WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO
Okay! Okay! Just taze me please!
By natural law, humans shouldn't exist.
Everything you ever loved and hated is all just a dreammm-uh.
You see...
time... is a flat surface. (?)
Mine, it's just violence and degradation.
We should all just walk ourselves into extinction.
OK. I DID IT. ALRIGHT? I killed the girl.
I-I didn't even ask you that.
I couldn't understand anything you were saying--
*stammers* I just panicked! Alright?
It's probably because shapes are just all just--
*sobbing*
You find yourself in a Uniqlo, but you're only trying on H&M clothing--
*humming*
This mild-mannered housewife will question everything she knows.
She has found herself in... the Twilight Zone.
Wait. Is something weird gonna happen?
Oh my god, what is it?! Is this like a Black Mirror?
Wha--it's--similar to Black Mirror, but we came first.
Oh my god, is Instagram gonna have sex with my clone?
I don't even know what any of that means.
Wait, also, aren't you supposed to be Jordan Peele?
Uh-- wha-- *sigh* what?
I mean the real issue here is what men want from women is how they ask for it.
I mean if they just ask nicely I'm sure I'd do anything for them.
And I mean anything. *audience laughs* But if they just try to take it from me--
I swear--they can't have it, no matter what it is.
OK! OK!
I killed the boy.
Where did that come from?
*stammers* I just panicked, okay?!
Can you just talk slower?
If there had been a "please" in there, we would be getting some progress. Am I right?
*audience applauses* aaaaAAAAUGGHH
Doctor, you don't understand. There are monsters attacking this city, right now.
And if we don't do anything, this stereotypical middle-American town from the 80s--
it's a complete ripoff of every Stephen King novel--will be lost forever!
Also, we look hella old now.
Hmm.
Well, there's no monster. You're all hallucinating from all the hairspray in the air.
wHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
*voice cracking* UHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Hey, uh--Sabrina, what are you doing here?
Chillin'.
I mean the real issue here is--wha--what? F**k. *small laugh*
...and you're watching old episodes of Saved by the Bell, but you're wondering if the Bell [*sounds of choking*] might of saved you...
I mean the real issue isn't what they're not men want from--weh--men want from women.
WHAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaatttt?????
I mean the real issue here is a what men want from women--f**k--I'm getting a British accent all the sudden.
Okay. Sorry sorry sorry.
I've only ever had sex with Ygritte.
She wasn't my aunt.
And then it was Daenerys. - M'hm.
But she's not- - [Egh.]
She's a Targaryen.
Mm!
What are you?
- Eh? - A Snow? (?) A Stark? (?)