AS WE GO TO OUR NEXT GAME,
DISCOVER DEEZ NUTS.
>> YEAH, NUTS.
[ APPLAUSE ] >> Chris: WERE YOU WONDERING WHY
YOUR MAIL WASN'T DELIVERED TODAY AND EVERYONE WAS BEING
EXTRA SELF-RIGHTEOUS ON SOCIAL MEDIA?
WELL THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S COLUMBUS DAY.
EVERYONE LOVES COLUMBUS DAY.
BIGGEST HOLIDAY AND AMERICAN TRADITION. THIS IS THE TIME WHEN
WE CELEBRATE THE MURDEROUS SLAVE TRADER WHO DIDN'T ACTUALLY
DISCOVER AMERICA, BUT ALL OF THE BANKS ARE CLOSED.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] >> Chris: I THINK WE CAN DO
BETTER THAN COMMEMORATING SOME ITALIAN THAT BROUGHT SYPHILIS TO
THE NEW WORLD.
LET'S HEAR YOUR PITCHES FOR SOMEONE WE SHOULD DEDICATE A
DAY TO INSTEAD OF COLUMBUS. I'M GONNA PUT 60 SECONDS ON THE
CLOCK AND BEGIN.
>> RYAN GOSLING.
AM I RIGHT, LADIES?
>> Chris: POINTS.
ALL THE BANKS ARE WET TODAY.
>> TOM HANKS. RIGHT, COLIN?
[LAUGHING] >> Chris: POINTS.
MEGAN.
>> OH, THE GUY AT CHIPOTLE WHO GIVES ME DOUBLE MEAT FOR FREE.
>> Chris: POINTS.
STEVE AGEE.
>> MY WEED DEALER, CHRIS.
HIS NAME IS NOT CHRIS.
YOUR NAME IS CHRIS.
MY WEED DEALER IS DR. FIENSTEIN.
>> Chris: POINTS. COLIN.
>> CHRIS COLUMBUS, THE DIRECTOR OF "HOME ALONE."
> Chris: AND A COUPLE OF "HARRY POTTERS."
>> THE WOMAN WHO GIVES ME MY BRAZILIAN WAX.
VERY TENDER HANDS.
>> THE PERSON WHO GIVES YOU A BJ WHEN YOU GET BACK FROM THE GYM
AND HAVEN'T SHOWERED YET.
[BEEP] YOU GUYS.