michael is one of those kids that loved
to ask questions his
first word was why actually was the only
word he spoke until he was about
five michael's curiosity turned to
paranoia when he was eight
and found out santa wasn't real he
stopped trusting our parents teachers
even newscasters for tracking santa's
sleigh he really started to spiral when
that blink 182 song
aliens exist came out you tom
delong also sometimes he talks about how
he doesn't trust the government and he
won't get a driver's license because he
thinks that's how they steal our organs
michael doesn't stop this soon he's
going to get himself killed
by somebody killing him for being so
annoyed the person who kills him
might be me
so you hit all his weapons right oh wait
sorry sorry oh my god i never forgot
a sword michael only dates me because he
thinks i'm part of the illuminati that's
why
i got can you see it
it's permanent got on this for christmas
last year
robbie kelsey you get there
i'm sorry are you in new orleans of
course not
but you do crazy things for people you
love every girl does it
ask your wife
i knew it i knew it you knew
what you literally just walked in i'm
just surprised it took you guys so long
to go through with the intervention wait
you know you have a problem
after everything you told me you're just
gonna play dumb you and i both know you
set this up for the illuminati
to silence me michael baby we've been
dating for four years you know
i have never planned anything you're the
only one here who's in the illuminati
or so i thought mike this has nothing to
do with the illuminati man oh yeah then
why the hell are you all wearing green
shirts
ben i told you we had a
coordinate outfit it's st
patrick's day who the hell is that guy
hi uh i'm larry just here to help
moderate
ease any tensions i'm an independent
contractor
you hear that tractor this guy is a
farmer and we're a bunch of sheep
dude reddit is ruining your life man and
who do you think created reddit steve
huffman and alexis
oh hey me that's what they want you to
think they as in the system
everything is a system with you how many
systems do you think there are 1576.
you're insane okay insane is not a
productive word
let's just say he's living la vida loca
of course i seem insane to a bunch of
sheep sorry for questioning society
when you guys aimlessly just follow the
leaders until you fall off the side of
the earth baby
you said you were gonna stop thinking
the earth is flat i stopped thinking
when i started knowing joe rogan
experience
episode 47 that was hot
and what makes you think the earth is
round because that's what we were taught
in school with
evidence huh from scientists yes
[Music]
feels pretty flat to me are we not
always standing on flat surfaces isn't
there like evidence with like the sun
and the moon um and like and like math
and stuff
remember uh honestly math and science
aren't really my forte i'm
more of a creative type also even if
aliens are real what are you going to do
about it
escape to my bunker why do you think we
send beanbag chairs i was always too
afraid to ask
do you hear yourself wouldn't you rather
just die than live in an underground
hole and sleep on beanbag chairs for the
rest of your life two words
sheep that's exactly what a sheep would
say sheep is one word you know it's two
baa baa you those are not words then
what are the baja men
huh come on you got it babe well what
about jeffrey epstein i called this
back in 95. that wasn't a conspiracy
prince andrew was really blatant about
that you spend all your time researching
okay kelsey's in the illuminati tell him
babe it's true what are you really gonna
feed his insanity
i mean i get it i convinced my last
boyfriend i was a hiker so
that's really different that's really
gross all i'm saying is if you want to
ruin your own life that's your thing but
you're ruining mine too you set up
cameras all over the apartment oh no
those are for sex
no some of those cameras are in my
bedroom too yeah
oh man come on sorry man we had to have
sex in there one time just so i could
prove to kelsey that those were for sex
they're not for sex
no who wants to watch themselves have
sex what am i ray j i thought it's being
jerked off to what do you think i'm
doing and they're watching all those 911
documentaries
i told you this my hand's a plane penis
is a tower stop stop
stop what can we do to make you stop
doing this no can do benji boy cause bad
things are gonna continue to happen all
right and i can't be in control of that
if i'm so insane how do i have so much
money
i know this one uh by never taking me
out i just assumed you're scamming
people in the dark web
i do that for fun plus you can't make
millions on the dark web tried it
you're not a millionaire you're full of
oh am i then how have i made
millions of dollars by securing market
tips via blackmail
of government officials riddle me that
[Music]
why did i say that this
was all part of your plan you did this
to me the green shirt is making
sense
okay if you're a millionaire then why
are you covering this place in beanbag
chairs they're not even made of real
beans
plus you know i'm trying to get into
interior design so how dare you not
consult me on this i'm your goddamn
sister
it's called fun suey fashion google it
beanbag somebody get the back door
no dude you have to realize this is all
in your mind you can still like aliens
and stalk avril lavigne from at least a
distance of 500 feet away but
you can't let these crazy conspiracy
theories control your life see
nobody coming okay maybe you're right
maybe nobody bugged the apartment maybe
you're just my sibling maybe you're just
my roommate
you know maybe you're just the
girlfriend why did you only air quote
girlfriend
but what's important here is nobody's
out to get any of us
we're gonna be okay no no
no no no no i still don't know about you
come on you have to stop living in
paranoia
otherwise you're gonna
thanks for the help sheep
thanks for watching the video if you
want to do us a favor go to the comments
and leave us a nice warm heartfelt
message
and just make sure if you're going to
tell me you're an idiot
use the right you're you never do