Hello internet - and welcome back to Life's Biggest Questions.
My name is Jack Finch - and today, I’ll be your host - as we ask: What If Dire Wolves
Didn’t Go Extinct?
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Now, you might be thinking - what are you even talking about?
How can Dire Wolves go extinct, when they weren’t even real in the first place - they’re
from a T.V show.
And - although we love Ghost, Nymeria and Grey Wind (RIP) - frankly, you know nothing
Jon Snow.
Let me assure you - they weren’t just a figment of George R.R Martin’s imagination.
Dire Wolves were as real as Kanye’s new hat - they roamed the planet 125 thousand
years ago, tall - proud, and ferocious - as a House Stark banner.
But what would our lives be like if the Dire Wolf was still around today?
What would our planet even look like?
Well - let’s find out.
The Dire Wolf is the most famous prehistoric carnivore of North America - right alongside
it’s mortal enemy, the sabre-toothed tiger.
These powerful canines prowled the continent during the Earth’s last ice age.
These ferocious beasts were /also/ pretty big boys - weighing anywhere between 125 and
175 pounds of near enough pure muscle.
Direwolves were some tough puppies - and their bite could chomp down with 129 percent more
force than the modern wolf.
In short - they were the most unstoppable predator in the entirety of North America.
So - if they never would have died out and disappeared - where would they be now?
As we know - wolves are the quintessential pack animal.
A primitive hive-mind intelligence that ensures strength in numbers.
If we’ve learned anything from Game of Thrones - when the snows fall and the white winds
blow, the lone wolf dies - but the pack survives.
In modern times, we know that a pack of timber wolves can bring down a 500kg moose relatively
easy.
And it’s been theorized that a pack of Dire Wolves could easily bring down an ancient
bison - that weighs over 1500kg.
That’s absolutely huge.
And - well - do you know what else was snacking on ancient bison back in the day?
Yep - us.
Prehistoric humans.
Now - I’m going to go out on a limb here, and wonder that the relationship between House
Stark and their Direwolves wasn’t just plucked out of thin air.
The gray wolf eventually became domesticated enough to become man’s best friend - dogs.
So, is it so far removed to wonder whether Dire Wolves could have set down the same path,
if they’d never gone extinct?
Would this have had a knock-on effect with our own evolution?
Domestic dogs gave human hunter-gatherers an incredible edge over their environment
- it allowed us to cover wider ground, and bring down much more formidable prey.
We had more food to eat - and so did our canine best friends.
Everyone was a winner.
Now imagine that with a Dire Wolf.
As a pair, we’d have been completely unstoppable.
A big stone axe, and a huge hulking Dire Wolf at our side.
Perhaps they’d have even become an intrinsic part of our society.
Tribes would have gone to war with each other - with huge packs of Dire Wolves beside their
warriors.
They’d plow into battle - shredding and ravaging anything that crossed their paths.
Pretty rock and roll.
And maybe - such an effective weapon would have carried through all the way to larger
North American civilizations.
The First Nation’s could have developed such an unbreakable and ferocious bond with
their Direwolves - that who knows, maybe the European settlers would have taken one look
and thought - “nah - don’t think we’ll try and take that on.”
Who knows - maybe we’d have become so codependent on Dire Wolves that they were a necessity
even in modern society.
Security forces - even the police - would have entire dire canine units bred purely
for fighting crime.
Now I know what you’re thinking - that’s just dogs.
And yes, essentially, they’d have filled the exact same role as dogs do now - just
much, much bigger - and incredibly terrifying.
Crime rates would likely plummet - who wants to rob a convenience store when you’re more
than likely going to be chased down by a ravaging Dire Wolf.
Yeah - I didn’t think so.
Put that Snickers bar back.
The world that we know it would be a much safer place - all thanks to our huge, cuddly
- snarling best friends.
And then we’ve got to talk about the military.
From the early 1900s - and even as recently as 1987 - elephants were used as machine-gun
mounts in armed conflict.
The US Navy still uses dolphins to hunt for mines - and in 1942 - the Polish army had
a bear that fought alongside them as a corporal.
I think we know where this is going.
In a reality where Dire Wolves have had a symbiotic relationship with humanity for thousands
of years - we’d definitely see battalions of Direwolves in the United States military.
World War 2 would have seen hordes of Direwolves storming the beaches of Normandy in landing
craft and special divisions of Dire Wolf paratroopers would have been dropped deep within enemy
lines.
The advancement wouldn’t stop there - either - with modern technology we’d see Direwolves
strapped with automatic weapons - remotely operated and similar to drone warfare.
As we mentioned earlier - Direwolves were pretty much made of pure muscle - their bone
structure was incredibly strong, and could withstand intense pressure.
You guessed it - we’d see armoured direwolves - strapped in bullet proof kevlar - and mounted
with machine guns.
In Jurassic World, we see Chris Pratt’s character - Owen Grady - training another
prehistoric pack animal - the Velociraptor.
After great lengths, we could coordinate our fluffy friends into following a single human
leader - who would orchestrate them into action.
They’d have some badass sounding name, like - Chief Direwolf Officer - or, Dire Commander.
They’d probably be made into movies starring Dwayne Johnson, too.
Well - we can always imagine, can’t we.
Sadly, that’s all we’ve got time for, we hope you’ve enjoyed today’s question
as much as we have - make sure to hit that subscribe button, and leave us a comment in
the box down below.
We’ll be seeing you soon - but until next time, take it easy.