- Hey everybody.
Today we're gonna talk about depression and anxiety,
and why they seem to be so connected.
But before we jump into that,
did you know I wrote a book?
It's called Are u ok?
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In the book, I talk about all things mental health related
like what's the difference
between mental health and mental illness?
How do we diagnose depression and anxiety?
What type of treatment should I get
if I am struggling,
and also how to manage toxic relationships.
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Now let's jump into today's topic.
Now, by simply watching my diagnoses videos
about depression and anxiety,
you can easily think that they are vastly different.
On one hand a depressed person
doesn't like doing anything they used to.
They can feel hopeless and sad.
And have changes in their diet and sleep patterns.
A person with anxiety can feel like they're living
in a state of extreme agitation,
being on edge most of the day,
and worrying about anything
and everything happening in their life.
These two mental illnesses
seem to be on the opposite ends of the spectrum,
not related to one another at all.
However, it's important to note
that statistically speaking
the most common form of depression
is actually what we call agitated depression,
meaning that someone will feel both hopeless,
empty, and lack enjoyment,
while also feeling on edge, irritable,
and worrying about all things going on in their life.
Many of my patients who are struggling
with agitated depression feel like they're caught
in a terrible cycle, because they'll feel bad
and lonely and empty, et cetera,
then they'll pick a fight with someone
who tries to help them or support them
'cause they're just feeling like total shit
and then go right back to feeling terrible again
and that cycle just goes and goes and goes.
And many people also share how they'll be tired all day
feeling low, and completely unmotivated,
but then at night they can't sleep.
I even had a patient back in the day
who struggled to stop her mind from running through
each and every conversation she had had that day,
and how she could have been better,
more understanding, or less awkward.
This can be exhausting,
I know many of you told me the same thing,
that you feel tired all day
and then you can't sleep at night.
Ugh, so annoying!
Now it's not only the agitated depression
that connects anxiety to depression.
Research also shows that this link
has more to do with how those with depression
and anxiety manage stress.
Whenever we're bombarded with the stress in our life
those with anxiety and depression
tend to deal with it through avoidance.
Meaning when stress comes our way
and we're pushed into our fight, flight or freeze response,
we choose flight.
I mean think about it,
neither depression nor anxiety is decisive,
confident or pushy.
And to take it even further,
anxiety is characterized by avoidance.
I mean if we know something's gonna make us anxious or upset
we're gonna avoid it, obviously.
And when depressed, we don't think very highly
of ourselves or our abilities,
and therefore we tend to avoid situations
or challenges, rather than jump right in.
And in the therapy world we call that withdrawal.
So you can see that with anxiety
your obsessions about failure are fear laden.
Whereas with depression,
your rumination reflects intense discouragement
to the point of hopelessness of despair.
But in both cases you're feeling overwhelmed
because of lack of self confidence
and that's the real issue behind feeling overwhelmed.
Like, the root of the root.
You know how I'm always talking,
to get to the root of the root of the issue.
And so if that's the case behind feeling like this
it can in turn lead us to either anxiety,
depression, or a veritable combination
of these two painful feelings.
Furthermore much of the symptoms
of depression and anxiety really do overlap.
Here are just some of the symptoms
you will see in both diagnoses:
sleep disturbance, tearfulness,
worry, loss of appetite, loss of sex drive,
lack of motivation, body aches, difficulty concentrating,
and that's just to name a few.
So it is easy to see why many of us
find ourselves toggling back and forth
between depression to anxiety
and even experiencing them both at the same time.
Or on the other hand,
possibly being diagnosed with one
when we really have the other.
But like anything I talk about
I always wanna end with what we can do
to better manage the symptoms.
So let's get into that.
Oh, and also, I know that we have
a lot of new community members.
Welcome!
So if you have a question or topic
that you want me to talk about,
please search my name and any keywords
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I have over a thousand videos
so chances are I've already talked about it.
Okay, now into the tips and tools.
Number one, since our hypothesis
is that lack of self confidence
and our flight response is what's leading us
to having our anxious or depressive symptoms,
you knew this tip was coming,
notice your self talk!
It's so common that we just believe our thoughts,
like I'm lazy, or my feelings are stupid,
or I'm not good enough.
Start paying attention to how you speak
to yourself and maybe start using bridge statements.
Bridge statements are things that you say to yourself
when the positive or completely opposite things
don't feel like real, right or attainable.
So for example, if we're struggling with the thought
I'm not good enough, a bridge statement would be
I may not be as bad as I think I am, I mean, it's possible.
We don't have to say
I'm amazing and I'm way more than enough
I love myself, because we won't believe that.
Let's just be honest, right?
And yes, you know, I've talked about faking it
'til I make it, and that does help some people,
but most of us need a bridge to get us there.
And so that's what those statements are.
So I encourage you to give it a try.
Try to notice the five most common
negative thoughts you have, and argue back
with some thoughtful bridge statements.
And then after some time
you'll be able to argue back with positive ones,
or better yet, maybe you won't even have
those nasty thoughts at all anymore.
Number two, getting into talk therapy.
It can really be so helpful, I promise.
Having someone we can go to to talk with
who doesn't know anything other than what we share with them
can be so life changing.
Now, obviously we need to make sure
that we like our therapist,
that we feel they're a good fit for us,
but getting into talk therapy
can help us better understand our anxiety or depression.
And make sure that we're properly diagnosed.
Remember I always talk about how important it is
to spend time with a clinician,
meaning like therapist, counselor, psychologist, whomever,
we have to spend a lot of time with them
before they can truly diagnose us.
So allow yourself to make sure they're a good fit
and feel like they really listen to you
and then talk about your diagnosis
and make sure that you both agree on it.
And the therapist can also help us
manage those symptoms that we're talking about.
They find CBT to be a really helpful style of therapy.
So feel free to ask your therapist
if they utilize that style as well.
And if you're wondering what CBT even is,
I'll link my video about it in the description below.
Tip number three, while medication can not make us
like ourselves or feel more confident
it can help alleviate the other symptoms
of anxiety or depression
that we may be experiencing.
I've talked about this a lot in the past
but if we feel like we're just drowning in the symptoms
unable to even implement one of the tips
that our therapist or other mental health professional
has given us, medication can be that life raft,
can help you get your head, you know,
just above water enough so you can finally breathe (sighs)
and do the work that you're gonna need to do to get better.
And I do not encourage just if you're wondering
I don't encourage people to only be on medication
and not be in therapy,
because medication when it comes to mental health issues
doesn't really fix anything.
It merely masks the symptoms that tell us something's wrong.
And so working together,
medication and therapy, I believe to be the most beneficial.
And research does too, just FYI.
And fourth and finally, resourcing.
Now I've been talking about this more and more
when it comes to trauma therapy,
but I honestly believe that resourcing
can be beneficial to anyone working on themselves.
Resourcing's really just a fancy way
of saying we need to have places, people, and things
we can reach out to or do when we start to feel bad.
This could be a happy place that we go to in our mind
or petting an animal, if that always calms us down.
It works for me.
Or even in your therapy appointments
that place could be like a safe haven
to go to in your mind or to show up for your appointment.
And the more resources that we have the better
and also making sure that these things
we can do regardless of the time of day
is really important, too, because we all know
nights can be the toughest.
And yes these are similar to distraction techniques
or coping skills, but they're just a little bit deeper.
These need to be things or people
that can help pull us out of those negative thought spirals
and keep us feeling grounded fairly quickly.
So take some time,
consider what your resources are and write them down
so they're available when you need them.
And I hope you found this video helpful.
As always, let me know down in those comments below
how you experience the connection
between anxiety and depression.
Or if you think they're completely different
and not connected at all.
How does it feel to you?
And most importantly, what has helped you
to better manage it?
Thank you so much for watching
and I will see you next time, bye.