Let's get-let's get into today's big story.
Uh, last night, here in New York,
NBC hosted a special Commander-In-Chief Forum,
which was momentous for two reasons.
One, it would give U.S. voters a unique opportunity
to see how each candidate would run the biggest military
in the history of mankind and, secondly, because it was
the first time Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump
were in the same venue.
I mean, that's if you don't count when they both
went to Star Jones' wedding, you know,
or-or if you don't count the-the, like,
you know, when the... they went to, uh, Melania's thing
or if you don't count, uh,
his visiting her in the White House.
I mean, if I didn't know any better,
I'd say these two were friends.
But last night, but last night, they were back
to playing enemies, and what better place than a warship?
ANNOUNCER:
-Here now is Matt Lauer. -(applause)
LAUER:
The decisions the commander-in-chief makes
can have a profound and lasting impact on all Americans.
After a coin toss yesterday won by Mr. Trump,
he chose to go second, so that means we begin tonight
with the Democratic nominee for president.
I'm-I'm sorry. Wait, they flipped a coin?
You'd think for an event so serious
they wouldn't use such a basic decider, you know?
And how did Hillary lose a coin toss to Trump?
You'd think it would be easier to beat him at a coin toss,
'cause whenever someone asks him, "Heads or tails,"
he probably answers, "Titties!"
I'm surprised... I'm surprised after beating Hillary
Donald Trump didn't make more of it, you know?
He should've ma... I... Like, that seems like the kind
of thing Trump would do. He'd be like, "You see, folks,
"once again Hillary making a bad decision, folks.
"Making a... They asked her which side,
"and she chose the wrong side, folks.
I would go in there and I would do it right."
Uh, now, now, here's a bit of trivia for you.
Did you know during World War II,
on multiple occasions,
kamikaze planes crashed into the
And last night, Matt Lauer continued that tradition.
Because I don't know what the (bleep) he was doing,
and neither did he.
Because with just 30 minutes to ask Hillary
about her national security strategy,
he spent one-third of that time digging through her inbox.
-Concerning your use of your personal e-mail -Mm-hmm.
and p... and server...
Some of the e-mails you sent and received happened
while you were overseas...
Were some of the e-mails sent or received by you
referring to our drone program?
And you said you thought your communications
on that were fairly routine?
You were communicating on highly sensitive topics.
Why wasn't it more than a mistake?
Why wasn't it disqualifying?
Matt Lauer asked so many questions about e-mail
I felt like I was stuck in line at the Genius Bar.
It was just like... And don't get... and don't get me wrong,
it is important to question Hillary about her e-mails.
Uh, maybe if she did more than one press conference
every nine months, this topic would have died down
a long time ago. Because that's what Trump does.
He's mastered the Q&A game, if you think about it.
He talks to the press so much,
they get tired of challenging him.
He basically does press rope-a-dopes.
That's what he's doing.
But, you see, the problem with spending so much time
on Hillary's e-mails last night
was that when we finally got to the military questions,
this happened.
How will you determine when and where
to deploy troops directly into harm's way,
especially to combat ISIS?
LAUER: As briefly as you can.
(laughter, groaning)
"As briefly as you can"?
Are you (bleep) me?
This event was
the Commander-in-Chief Forum.
It's the reason we were watching.
And now because Matt Lauer spent so much time
on
the actual questions from the actual veterans
about the actual commander-in-chief-ing
gets reduced to a speed date.
And now because you don't have time,
you don't get to push back on things like this.
We are not putting ground troops into Iraq ever again,
and we're not putting ground troops into Syria.
We're going to defeat ISIS
without committing American ground troops.
LAUER: Sir, thank you. Thank you very much for your question.
We'll remember this, by the way. We'll remember this moment.
Yeah. She's like, "We won't send any ever again."
You didn't even ask a follow-up? She said "not ever."
Which everyone knows is international politicianspeak
for "we'll talk about it later."
Genuinely, guys, Matt Lauer and-and the NBC forum
were not good last night.
Because if he wasn't good with Hillary Clinton,
he was terrible when handling Trump.
He just let Trump get away with blatant lies.
I was totally against the war in Iraq from...
You can look at
You can look at before that.
And I was against the war in Iraq because I said
it's gonna totally destabilize the Middle East, which it has.
It has absolutely been a disastrous war.
And, by the way,
perhaps almost as bad was the way Barack Obama got out.
That was a disaster.
People talk about you and commander-in-chief,
and not just Secretary Clinton,
but some of your Republican opponents in the primary season,
and they wonder about your temperament.
Did you not hear the answer to the question?
How did he just move on?
First of all, Trump's answering the question
like a toddler being questioned by his parents.
"And I didn't see, I didn't say no.
"And, uh, and, also, another...
"And Barack-- he was bad.
"And also, I don't go into...
"And me, I would never...
And-and-and, also, it was... it was bad."
-(applause and cheering) -But he lies.
He blatantly lies, and then Lauer just moves on.
"All right, let's move on to the next ques..."
I would love to date Matt Lauer, I'll tell you that.
Yeah, because getting busted would be impossible.
It would be like, "Who's thirsty Lisa?"
"Uh... my mom?"
"All right, let's move on and talk about dinner.
Let's, uh..."
And by the way, people,
I don't know how many times we have to go over this,
but real quick-- Donald Trump didn't oppose the war in Iraq.
When asked about it in 2002 on
he said he was for the war.
The interview's on line. You can look it up.
Secondly, Trump keeps referring
to his 2004
as proof that, unlike Hillary, he didn't want to go into war.
Only one problem. Only one problem.
Having an article would be proof
unless that article was published
16 months after the war started!
It is afterwards.
The war has already been deemed a disaster,
and now you're like, "Yeah, we shouldn't have gone in."
Everyone knows you shouldn't have gone in.
You can't oppose the thing after it's already happened.
That's not how it works.
The same way next year,
a lot of people are going to be against voting Trump
in the 2016 elections.
That's what's going to happen.
-And I know, I know... -(applause and cheering)
I know...
I know some people are saying, "Well, what did you expect, man?
"It was Matt Lauer, okay?
"He's just the host of a morning show.
He doesn't know how to push back."
But that's why this is so disappointing,
because that's not true.
Matt Lauer can take tough questions
to very powerful people.
And we've seen it before.
I'm counting chairs here, and I see four.
Normally, we're used to seeing you guys with five,
so let's start with the obvious.
Where is Zayn?
Yeah, he's got a tummy bug.
When's he gonna rejoin the band?
LAUER: Is it something more serious
than just a minor illness?
There have been rumors of substance abuse.
What's going on?
Goddamn!
That's journalism! Look at that!
(applause and cheering)
He could have moved on when Liam spun him that story.
He could have moved on when Liam was like,
"Oh, oh, oh, it's a... it's a tummy bug. It's a tummy bug."
But Matt Lauer
(laughter)
And so he called out One Direction
in front of their fans,
an army way stronger
than Hillary and Trump will ever possess!
-(laughter) -Come on, Matt Lauer.
You didn't flinch in front of a bunch
of rich, powerful children.
I can't believe you couldn't face down just one.