[Adum] -Welcome to the YMS commentary for Twilight: Breaking Dong.
[Music]
[Scoot] -He's wearing a shirt?!
[Gaël] -No no there you go...
[Scoot] -He took it off so fast!🤣
He took it off in a record time!
[Adum] -As soon as you're asking the question...
[Gaël] -Oh, he doesn't care about his pants ripping just his shirt.
[Scoot] -Before I could dot the question mark... it was answered...
[Gaël] -He got a card for their wedding!
[Adum] -It's a restraining order...
[Gaël] -Get it? His his eyes are red because he's feeding on humans now.
[Adum] -Yeah...
[Gaël] -Did you guys read the 50 000 comments on the video?
[Scoot] -I... you... you know what? I read the 50,000 comments...
[Gaël] -Oh my god...
Oh, he killed the man because he was looking at her funny...
[Adum] -Yeah, he's such a good murderer...
[Gaël] -He was eye fucking her.
[Scoot] -Yeah, he's a real Dexter.
[Adum] -He's Light Yagami.
[Bella] -You probably saved more lives than you took.
[Gaël] -Wait, is she justifying murder?
[Adum] -Do you think that's not consistent with Stephanie Meyer's brain?
[Gaël] -Ooh.
[Scoot] -Oh, shoes...
[Gaël] -She's dreaming about her wedding, which also takes place in a field;
like everything else in the movie.
[Adum] -Oh no, it's melting...
Nope... it's bleeding...
I'm pregnant...
[Scoot] -Oh, what a day to get your period.
[Gaël] -That's definitely a new character..
[Scoot] -What, the dad?!
[Gaël] -No, the Julia Roberts looking...
bitch...
[Adum] -What?
[Gaël] -You know what I'm saying...
[Adum] -She was the fuckin' mom.
[Scoot] -Her mother, she was in the last movie.
[Adum] -She was in the last movie and the beginning of this movie.
[Scoot] -Wow, you really do have face blindness.
[Gaël] -threw me off-
[Adum] -No! I know! It's like, I know it threw you off!
That's why I don't trust you.
[Gaël] -Before this movie is over I will have my retribution...
[Adum] -Okay...
Remember when you thought like, the teacher in the first movie was Bilbo?
[Gaël] -Shush shush shush, because you know-
don't talk so soon, Adam.
Little do you know...
Scoot and I have been planning since last film...
to set a honey trap for you...
I suspect will come to fruition in this one.
What is this camera work? What are we watching?
[Adum] -A film.
[Scoot] -Tight... tight tight tight.
[Adum] -If you keep it close, you don't have to hire the extras the whole day; you can just never show them.
[Gaël] -Clever clever...
Saving money.
[Scoot] -Yeah.
[Adum] -Oh, Stephanie!
She's back!
She's from the coffee shop!
[Scoot] -She's back!
[Gaël] -Is this a is this a Christian ceremony?
[Gaël] -How do... how does the church...
[Adum] -It's a christian...
[Gaël] -about vampires.
[Scoot] -Uh, I believe it's Mormon, because that's what Stephanie Meyer is.
[Adum] -Ow!
[Scoot] -No biting.
[Adum] -The music choices in these films are so... so stupid.
[Clip] -Edward will be a good husband.
Because, I'm a cop.
I know things.
[Scoot] -You actually know less than anyone in this movie.
[Gaël] -This is actually very true...
I like how he got her father- got like three seconds.
[Adum] -He's a bag.
[Adum] -He... he pushed her off the stage. 😆
[Gaël] -I'm a let you finish.
[Adum] -Roberts acting is so weird right now.
I can't stand the reactions of Edward and Bella...
They're not reacting to specific moments of characters saying certain things.
There's literally just like "okay now laugh and we'll figure out where to place it later."
[Gaël] -We'll fix it in the end.
[Adum] -Yeah...
[Gaël] -So, is it... this is his first wedding, yes?
And he has and he has fuck-
[Adum] - I mean if he's not a liar.
[Gaël] -He's probably a liar. Can we assume?
But, he does... he keeps saying like "I've waited a hundred years for you."
[Scoot] -Two world wars!
[Adum] -Yeah, that's what's so alluring.
[Scoot] -And Bella is the best?
[Gaël] -Wait, he brought her Jacob as a gift?
[Adum] -A dog!
Scoot] -I got us a DOG!
[Gaël] -I got us a pet!
[Scoot] -Even Edward, on their wedding night, knows that she should be with Jacob.
[Adum] -They have to keep forcing him in, because there's no movie otherwise.
Because, then everything would just be fine.
[Scoot chuckles]
[Jacob] -While you're still human?! You can't be serious, Bella! Tell me you're not that stupid!
[Scoot] -So, Jacob correctly believes that Edward is going to fuck Bella to death....
[Gaël] -I think so.
So, her parents are split, yeah?
[Scoot] -So, we've never seen this woman before, is what I understand...
[group chuckling]
[Adum] -Oh, she doesn't know how to use toothpaste, What the fuck?😆
What was that?!
What WAS that?
[Scoot] -She has never brushed her teeth before...
[Adum] -This is so much fun: she's stressed out.
And doesn't know how to use toothpaste...
What is your problem right now?! What's happening?
[Scoot] -Is she surprised by the lingerie SHE brought?
[Gaël] -I think Edward brought it.
Or is she-
[Scoot] -Oh, I like Edward style that he's like "you wear this!"
[Adum] -I do like that Stephanie Meyer has included sex only after marriage in her fantasy...
[Scoot] -I mean that's literally why they HADto get married, was so they could have sex.
Is she going to lose her virginity in the ocean?!
That's not where you start!
[Gaël] -No? Why not? Gotta be adventurous. She's gonna become a vampire anyway...
at some point...
[Scoot] -No, that's too adventurous!
-This is sick!
[Gaël] -Oh, see? They transitioned pretty smoothly from the ocean to...
[Adum] -Yeah...
[Scoot] -Oh, so it was just ocean kissing, not ocean fucking.
[Gaël] -Yeah.
Oh my, okay...
[Scoot] -That's gonna be you!
[Adum] -You're never gonna get the deposit back on that hotel room.
[Gaël] -Well you... they might just own the whole place; we don't know if it's a hotel or not...
Because, he said Carlisle-
[Adum] -Yeah, they own Brazil.
[Scoot] -I think Carlyle bought them Brazel- okay...
they had a good night...
[Gaël] -Well, she's still alive...
[Scoot] -The feathers... still falling...
[Gaël] -Yeah, the feathers midair...
[Adum] -There's SO MANY songs...
We're 40 minutes through the movie...
They got married and fucked... like...
What!?
Oh no...
[Scoot] -Someone's grabby...
[Adum] -She consented to this one at least.
Like, come on...
[Scoot] -Classic Adam... she was asking for it...
[unintelligible chattering]
[Scoot] -Real nice!
We knew this was gonna be tricky, right?
[Adum] -The conflict is just like, how to have sex...
[Gaël] -That actually kind of is...
[Adum] -Basically, what's just happening right now...
it's like the entire conflict of the movie.
-That was the best night in my existence.
[Gaël] -Really?
[Scoot] -Disgusting...
[Gaël] -Best night of your existence...
90 years, you haven't had a fuckin' birthday party...
or a new new year's eve...
or a bar mitzvah...
[Scoot] -You have had... the dumbest life, Edward...
[Adum] -Suicide!
[Gaël] -Hey, he's sparkly!
[Group exclaiming]
I feel like at least a few of them have had these stupid montages:
where every single shot is just like look at what a vampire can do...
and it's just some stupid editing trick where it's like I'm over here now...
like it's literally just all this-
We had this in the other movies!
"I'm a vampire!"
"See how fast I go? Whoa!"
Oh, it's so stupid...
[Jacob] -Well, he's either gonna kill her or change her...
and the treaty says-
[Adum] -I can't get over how nerdy his voice is...
[Gaël] -It's a treaty: the treaty says this.
[Scoot] -It's so nerdy. [Adum] -Very nasally.
[Gaël] -Like me?
[Scoot nasal voice] -"But guys, they're treaty!"
[Gaël] -That looks like an undercooked- like, woefully undercooked
you're gonna get salmonella if you eat that. What the fuck?
[Adum] -Yeah, she did not cook it properly.
She basted it in peanut butter.
[Gaël] -What is she doing?
[Adum] -Oops!
[Gaël] -Did she just realize that- did she just realize that-
[Adum laughing obnoxiously]
[Adum] -She didn't even notice until the very end!
[Gaël] -What the fuck?!
[Adum] -I can't do anything...
[Gaël] -What the fuck is this plot point? She just couldn't cook chicken, so now she's sick?
What the fuck?
Wait... what?
[Bella] -Can this happen?
[Scoot] -You fucked yesterday and you're showing?
[Bella] -Whoa!
[Gaël] -What, it's kicking already?
You're kicking 14 days after the wedding and it's...
[Scoot] -You're 14 hours pregnant?
[Bella] -Carlisle, I swear something just moved inside me!
[Gaël] -Oh my god...
[Scoot] -So yeah, Carlisle, it's me; I might have pumped my demon seed into her.
What do we do?
[Adum] -Directed by Ridley Scott.
[Scoot] -If the rest of this movie is an abortion debate...
it's the best movie ever...
[Gaël] -Yes please... [Adum] -Oh my god.
[Gaël] -Take me there.
[Adum] -Were's Judy Hopps?
[Scoot] -Adam, we don't speak of that comic....
an editor we definitely don't put in the still of that comic...
[Gaël] -I love that, I love this is gonna like they're gonna go back she's gonna put on an operating table...
[Adum] -If this just turned into a body horror movie from here on out-
[Gaël] -That would be so sick!
[Adum] -The Twilight fans would be mad, but I'd be happy...
[Scoot] -I mean, that's that's kind of how any happening in this movie series goes.
Anything that is bad for Twilight fans is good for us.
[Adum] -I like how "lonely dad" now has Jacob to keep him company, they just hang out.
[Gaël] -Jacob- Jacob is already a better son-in-law than Edward.
[Adum] -It's been a while since I've believed that you two believe what you're saying, you know?
You have two things: you say he's a good dog and he's warm, that's it!
That's all you say!
[Gaël] -No, I actually-
[Adum] -That's all that you two say this entire time.
[Scoot] -That's two things he's going over Edward!
[Gaël] -No no no. I have been saving my closing argument for the last film,
but I do have a argument.
[Scoot] -Your big issue is Jacob forcing himself on her.
Yes, and and just being this horrible third wheel... that's your issue?
[Adum] -Yeah, to a fucking married woman...
[Gaël] -She wasn't married at the time, but go on.
[Adum] -She was like, engaged...
[Scoot] -No, I understand. I understand all that, but here's what you don't get: Bella don't know what's good for her.
[Adum] -Everybody can enjoy that she's like, dying now, at least...
[Scoot] -Yes, we can all enjoy that.
[Clip] -Why haven't you done anything? Take it out of her!
-This is none of your business, dog.
[Gaël] -"Dog" he said it.
[Clip] -The fetus isn't good for Bella.
[Gaël] -The FETUS! [Adum] -Yeah!
[Scoot] -Sid you say "fetus"?
[Gaël] -Oh my god, we're getting an abortion argument!
[Scoot] -Oh my god! Abortion!
[Scoot] -Life begins at non-consensual conception...
[Adum] -Life begins when you speak English.
[Adum] -Satire, everybody...
I forgot to use my Texan accent.
[Gaël] -I've made that mistake.
[Scoot] -It's gonna get you in trouble.
Should we just do the whole commentary in the Texan accent, for safety?
[Gaël] -Just in case.
[Adum] -I can do the whole commentary in Goofy accent, Max.
[Gaël] -Oh no...
[Adum mocking]
[Scoot] -Nice. Dog!
[Adum] -He like, Naruto ran for a second.
[Adum] -Oops! HA!
[Adum continues laughing]
[Adum] -Oh, they can speak English while they're doing this??
[Gaël] -Whoa, what the fuck?
[Scoot stammers]
[Scoot] -Are they fucking talking?!
[Adum] -They're like telepathically talking to each other right now...
[Clip] -You have to protect the tribe.
[Gaël] -Oh this is so good!
This is so good!
[Shark?] -It's sharkboy...
Don't take a bite out of him, boys?
He's a friend.
-We must destroy it before-
[Gaël] -"We must destroy" oh this is all yes.
[Wolf] -Her choice affects us all...
[Adum laughs]
[Adum] -The over-exaggerated facial expressions to "sell" each like, enunciation...
[Gaël] -They're emoting a little bit better than The Lion King 2019.
[Adum] -A little bit better, yeah...
[Scoot] -This is still better than Lion King.
[Adum] -Kiss!
[Gaël] -Are you gonna be the alpha?
Are you gonna kill him so you can become the alpha? Is that where this is going?
[Scoot] -Oh, beta cuck bitch...
[Adum] -He's just crying now!
[Adum] -HAHAHA! You're bullying him!
This music!
Is so triumphant! Oh my god!
[Scoot] -I honestly... I think the voiceover is more egregious than the music.
[Gaël] -It's pretty great.
[Adum] -The first hour of the movie was just wedding and trying to fuck, and now it's just BAM!
Like, what a tone change!🤣
[Gaël] -I love it.
[Adum] -Out of nowhere....
[Gaël] -Wow, that was really triumphant.
By the way: the disconnect between like that wolf like,
jumping out and then just Jacob coming out of the woods with his hair like gelled...
and wearing like an-
[Adum] -Oh yeah...
[Gaël] -polo shirt... [Adum] -"It's me!"
It's still me, everybody!
[Scoot] -I hate to admit it, but I think Adam was right.
He appears to have grown new clothes...
[Adum] -Yeah.
[Gaël] -What happened- he's got nice shoes, like....
[Adum] -He grew those back too.
[Gaël] -Those break too, right?
[Scoot] -He grew the shoes...
[Adum] -He grew back the shoes!
[Erie music]
[Gaël] -Oh my god! The cinematography!
[Adum] -They're gonna put that on the the 4k Blu-ray...
[Gaël] -Oh yeah...
[Adum] -Quote from Gael, "Oh my god, the cinematography!"
[Laughter]
[Adum] -"Yahoo!" search!
[Gaël] -What is this?
[Adum] -He's learning how vaginas work...
[Scoot] -"Oh wait, I did THIS?"
[Music] [Laughter]
[Gaël] -That's good, that was a good zoom...
[Adum] -Oh my god...
[Adum] -That's what happened when you have a sex time?
[Edward] -Do you honestly think that I could love it if it killed you?
[Bella] -It's not his fault!
[Gaël] -You're mature, aren't you?
-You have to accept what is.
-because you've given me no choice!
[Adum] -Huh...
[Scoot] -He's a hundred, but also seventeen...
[Clip] -Cause it's me or Lucio.
and I don't choose that...
[Adum] -Maybe you should have looked up what would have happened if you fucked before doing it...
[Gaël] -This is kind of your doing...
[Adum] -What's wrong with you?
He just googled it like an hour ago...
Like, in his time...
[Gaël] -He's had 90 years...
Okay guys, you notice how their eyes are all black now?
Because, they're- they're- they need to feed?
[Scoot] -Because, they're hungry?
[Gaël] -Yeah. [Scoot] -Yeah, we know how eyes work now, guys.
[Gaël] -Guys, are you proud of us?
Youtube comment section?
[Scoot] -Hungry...
[Adum] -I don't know if that's the hungry eyes...
[Scoot] -Red: human. Yellow: animal. Black: hungry.
[Gaël] -That's it.
[Adum] -I don't fucking know...
[Scoot] -Now you do! I told you!
[Adum] -I don't trust you...
[Gaël] -Why not?
[Scoot] -Sorry, are they giving her a stemless champagne flute...
full of blood?
To drink?
[Adum] -Yeah!
[Scoot] -No, I apologize... it's in a take out Styrofoam cup...
[Gaël] -She is way too trashy for a stemless champagne flute of blood...😆😆
[Gaël] -They have to put her in a vessel-
[Scoot] -"Don't use the good crystal for Bella!"
[Gaël] -Thick with a c...
[Adum] -It's like, black...
[Scooot] -It's pretty good!
[Adum] -My baby likey...
Baby happy...
[Gaël] - I feel like you would throw up if you just tried to down a fucking pint of blood...
[Scoot] -Nah... it's not as bad as you think...
[Adum] -He could mix it with other things...
She's still eating real food, right?
She could make a smoothie.
[Screaming]
[Gaël] -Uh oh...
[Adum laughing obnoxiously]
[Gaël] -Oh my god!
[Everyone collectively surprised]
[Gaël] -Also, I know you guys missed it, but she said that if it was gonna be a boy, she was gonna name it "EJ."
Edward Jacob.
I'm not even kidding...
[Clip] -If it's a boy: EJ.
[Adum] -That's terrible...
[Gaël] -That's what she said...
[Adum] -That's terrible...
[Adum screaming ironically]
[Scoot] -Oh, we're getting in!
[Clip] -She's suffocating!
[Gaël] -What the fuck is going on?
[Scoot] -Is he beating the baby out of her?
[Adum] -It's a dream. It HAS to be a dream...
[Gaël] -What the fuck is going on? [Adum] -What's going on?
[Adum] -This is so ridiculous!
[Gaël] -What is going- how....
[Adum] -Awwwww...
[Adum] -If it was a woman, she should have named it Jeb.
[Scoot] -For "Jacob Edward"?
[Adum] -Yeah...
Jacob Edward Bella: Jeb!
YES!
[Scoot] -Jeb! There it is, we got 'er.
[Clip] -Please clap.
[Adum] -More un-consensual kisses, Jacob!
[Adum] -He just said, "it's my venom"?
[Scoot] -Yeah... [Adum] -and he's injecting it... I don't know what's going on...
[Adum] -This is so ridiculous...
[Scoot] -Okay....
[Adum] -Oh no...
I hope she makes it to Breaking Dawn: Part Two...
[Gaël] -Is she on the cover?
[Scoot] -No, it's funny, she doesn't.
I'm pretty sure she's... pretty sure she eats it right here...
Part two is just the funeral.
[Adum] -Yeah, if the wedding can last that long...
Maybe uh... an actual doctor in here would be nice...
[Gaël] -Where's Peter??
[Scoot] -Nah....
[Gaël] -Isn't he a fucking doctor?
[Scoot] -Yeah, Peter's a doctor...
[Gaël] -Why isn't he in here?!
Why is he biting her in different places?
Why is he doing it in different places?
[Adum] -Trying to find a vein...
[Scoot] -He wants to see if different parts taste different...
[Adum chuckles]
[Adum] -This tastes like peanut butter chicken!
Okay, this is really funny!
[Scoot] -I'm just even more dead...
[Adum] -I'm just so angry now...
[Gaël] -Well, that was a sequence...
[Adum] -That was so weird...
[Scoot] -Look at that "very real" baby...
[Adum] -It looked like the head was on backwards...
[Gaël] -That's terrifying...
[Adum giggles]
[Scoot] -Did Clint Eastwood direct this?
[Clip] -Suddenly it's not the earth holding you here.
[Adum] -Hmm? Oh no...
[Scoot stammering]
[Adum] -Is he imprinting?
[Scoot] -I truly don't know...
[Adum] -onto the baby?
and he sees her future?
[Gaël] -What...?
[Scoot] -Oh that's what's happening, baby!
[Adum] -He's imprinting onto a baby!!
[Scoot] -He's imprinting the shit out of that baby...
[Adum] -NOOOOOO!!
[Scoot] -He is gonna fuck that baby...
[Adum continues freaking out]
[Scoot] -Team Jacob for life!
[Adum] -Oh my god...
[Gaël] -What are you doing, Stephanie?!
[Adum] -So looking forward to hearing you justify Jacob in the next...
[Gaël] -That's not in his control!
[Adum laughing hysterically] [Gaël freaking out]
[Gaël and Adum continue arguing]
[Adum] -Oh no...
[Clip] -It's over!
-Jacob imprinted...
[Adum] -I knew it...
onto the baby...
onto the fucking baby, Gaël!
[Clip] -can't be harmed...
[Adum laughing]
Ah, these are the rules that they're saying now...
[Gaël] -They're making this shit up as they go.
It's obvious that they're making this stuff, that's first of all.
Is she actually dead?
[Scoot laughs]
[Adum] -Did you know that when you die, your hair still grows?
[Scoot] -And changes color?
[Adum] -She got a thick chest now...
[Gaël] -That was really dumb...
What?
[Scoot] -No mustache? I don't like that at all...
Oh don't- I hate him. Get him out of here.
[Adum] -"I was a baby once!"
[Scoot] -Aaaaaaaaand credits?
YES!
[Adum] -Bill Condon! [Scoot] -Bill, ya did it!
[Adum] -More like, "Bill Condom" am I right?
Because, this guy fucks!
[Scoot] -More like, Bill's mom should have worn a condom...
[Adum] -and that's how they stopped the race war...
is because you're not allowed to kill a baby that Jacob wants to fuck... 😆
[Gaël] -We haven't yet established that imprinting means wanting to fuck...
[Adum] -Oh yeah, it's just wanting to marry...
Solid 4/10 for this film.
Um...
[Scoot] -Have you gone up one every movie?
[Adum] -Yeah, so far.
We'll see if the final one pays off...
I don't know how they could beat this one though...
I don't know how they could possibly beat it.
[Scoot] -Let me just say: they do.
They literally do.
[Gaël] -Really?
[Adum] -User review: 10 out of 10. "leaves you breathless."
"Stewart is finally acting."
"which is one of the biggest reasons why this movie is so much better than the others" 😆
She wasn't acting before...
[Scoot] -Yeah that's really what Stewart's coming out party.
[Adum] -She was acting now...
Oh my god, Quebec is always so different...
So, Canada our rating system: it's like, one rating for everywhere in the country and then a separate rating for Quebec...
[Scoot] -Ugh! Quebec just secede from Canada! We don't even want you!
[Adum] -PG for all of Canada, G in Quebec...
G-rated in Quebec...
[Gaël] -Sorry sorry. What is.. just for me everyone else who doesn't know the rating...
[Scoot] -G is "General"
Literally everybody; a child could walk into the theater and see it by themselves.
[Adum] -Literally like, a four-year-old can show up by themselves without a parent...
[Scoot] -Yeah. [Gaël] -Okay.
[Scoot] -An unaccompanied minor.
[Gaël] -Unaccompanied Quebecois minor...
[Gaël] -So those... they'll be fine...
[Scoot] -Yeah, they're different.
I bet it's a lot. I bet it's more than you think.
[Gaël] -I'm gonna go....
[Adum] -110 million budget?!
Okay bye, synecdoche!
[Scoot bursts out laughing]
[Adum] -Gotta go, everybody. 110 million?
What the fuck?