hey everyone and welcome to top think today we're gonna learn about how to instantly get out of a
rut now let's begin number one discovering distortions your brain isn't always honest
with you sorry sometimes it fudges the details it bends the truth and it makes you believe
something that you'd never normally believe these mistakes are called cognitive distortions and our
brain uses them as a kind of protection instead of dealing with something that's difficult or
negative your brain does something really strange it completely rewrites your story and for example
let's say that you missed out on an amazing opportunity at work in your mind you deserved
that position you did you worked hard and tried your best so it's only fair that you get what
you want right well in reality someone else might have worked harder than you did or they deserve
that opportunity more than you did deep down you might know that's the truth but those are hard
pills for your brain to swallow so it decides that it wasn't your fault that you got cheated
out of something that you earn fair and square this is just one kind of cognitive distortion
called a fallacy of fairness but there are many more you might recognize some of the more popular
ones like overgeneralization catastrophizing and playing the blame game these are all different
ways that your brain tricks you into believing something that just isn't true and when you're
stuck in a rut cognitive distortions get even more dangerous because you're more likely to fall for
them you'll start believing those inaccurate thoughts and they'll start controlling your
behavior ok let's go back to our example if you believe that you were cheated out of that job you
might not work any harder the next time around or maybe you'd just give up you'd never take
another shot at that amazing opportunity because you're convinced that the world just isn't fair
to instantly pull yourself out of a rut don't let these distortions control your lie think on the
truths that you tell yourself and make sure they reflect what really happened because whether you
realize it or not your brain might be lying to you number two upward counterfactual thinking whenever
something goes wrong what's the first question that you ask yourself probably something along
the lines of what could I have done differently or what could I have done to make this work but
those questions can dig you into a hole you drive yourself crazy wondering what you could have done
instead of actually doing anything psychologists call this counterfactual thinking in your mind
you're trying to go back and rewrite the facts by deconstructing what went wrong you think you're
helping yourself move forward but more often than not you just end up buried and regret so
does that mean counterfactual thinking is more destructive than helpful should you completely
avoid asking yourself what went wrong not at all you just have to approach these questions in the
right way you see there are actually two types of counterfactual thinking downward and upward
downward counterfactual thinking is when you imagine things going even worse than they did
let's say you get a shot at your dream job but you completely bomb the interview if you were
using downward thinking you might say at least I got an interview it could have been worse the big
problem with downward thinking is that you're accepting failure even though you're trying to
build yourself up you're actually holding yourself down because you're framing failure as the end of
the road according to a study on downward thinking it also creates a self-destructive mindset people
who use downward thinking were much more likely to procrastinate and their mental state wasn't
getting any better those downward thoughts were making them feel uncertain and lowered their self
esteem but upward counterfactual thinking does the opposite let's say you walk out of that interview
and you say that could have gone a lot better and here are the reasons why now you've given yourself
the chance to improve you're pushing yourself out of that rut and you're making progress toward
your ultimate goal but there's one very important thing to remember about upward thinking you should
never use upward thinking to beat yourself up just because your interview could have gone better that
doesn't mean you aren't allowed to fail everyone makes stupid mistakes everyone has regrets and hey
that's okay but you should use those regrets to make changes and solve problems so that you can
perform better the next time around number three mental contrasting when you're stuck in a rut try
to get your mind out of the present instead of focusing on the things that are going wrong in
your life jump forward in time skip ahead a few weeks months or maybe even years to a time when
you put this whole rough patch behind you for some people that means setting new goals and honing in
on their dreams for others it means reimagining your lifestyle or conjuring up better habits and
routines it doesn't matter what it is as long as you're focusing on a future that's not just
good for you but one that's also actually possible that last part that last part about being actually
possible is especially important your future has to be within your reach and it has to be
something that will genuinely make you happy so that leaves you with one big question how do you
decide what you're fulfilling and realistic future looks like many people use something called mental
contrasting mental contrasting is a technique that you can use whenever you feel like you're
going through a rough patch because it pushes you to take action it encourages you to pull yourself
out of your slump because mental contrasting creates a feasible path towards your future
so how do you do it you start by thinking about your long-term goals you let yourself dream big
and don't be afraid to look five or ten years into the future once you've got that image in
your head it's time to do some mental contrasting now on the way toward your dreams you're gonna run
into some roadblocks you'll have to overcome all kinds of new barriers you'll have to face your
fears but it doesn't all happen at once you face each of these challenges one at a time so almost
like you're making a timeline you place those roadblocks chronologically on your path if for
example you're trying to write a book your first challenge might be committing to your story your
second challenge might be pushing yourself to be a more disciplined writer and your third challenge
might be finding the courage to show your work to the world but those three challenges don't happen
one right after the other you face those fears in pieces when you realize how much room you have to
breathe your future will seem more possible than ever number four talk it out when you're stuck in
a rut do you internalize your problems do you keep them all bottled up and pretend like everything's
fine most people keep their rough patches a secret they preserve this strong exterior and
then they fall apart as soon as they step out of the spotlight but the truth is being vulnerable is
good for you telling your problems to someone can help you overcome almost any obstacle because you
can't resolve every problem in your head sometimes your brain gets so nervous and confused that it
can't see the writing on the wall but when you talk it out with a friend or family member you get
some much-needed clarity you get those negative feelings out in the open and you give yourself the
chance to expose your worries for what they really are oh but that's not all talking to someone also
gives you a sense of validation it's a huge relief to know that someone not only understand
your problems but also sympathizes with them it shows you that you're not alone other people
have overcome similar roadblocks in their life and that knowledge right there will help you climb out
of the hole that you've dug for yourself so find someone that you trust and lay all your cards on
the table because bottling up your doubts it makes it even harder to move on number five acknowledge
your progress every small step forward counts each little victory pushes you closer towards your goal
so it's worth celebrating imagine you've been in a rut at work you've been struggling to be more
productive or creative and you just haven't felt motivated like you used to but one day that spark
comes back just for a few hours you remember what it's like to feel really passionate about your job
even if it's only a small step you're still one step further than you were before yesterday you
didn't know if you could ever like that fire again but right now you know you can and that's worth
rewarding but the trick is to reward yourself with something that doesn't hold you back you
need a reward system that encourages you instead of undoing all the progress that you've made let's
say you reward that great day at work with an evening full of distractions is that gonna make
you more productive or is that gonna set your motivation probably the latter so it's important
to use rewards that boost your mentality you might try spending quality time with your family
start reading a new book or explore a hobby that you've never tried before all of these rewards
can be fun and relaxing while still keeping you moving in the right direction hey thank you for
watching Top think and be sure to subscribe because more incredible content is on the way