AS MANY OF US KNOW, THE TYPICAL AMERICAN DIET IS RICH IN
ESSENTIAL POISONS.
AS EVIDENCE MOUNTS THAT BIG AGRA AND THE FOOD LOBBY
HAVE TURNED OUR FOOD SUPPLY INTO AN ADDICTIVE, FATTENING
DEATH MENU OF ARTIFICIAL CHEMICALS, ANTIBIOTICS AND
COOL RANCH CARCINOGENS.
THE QUESTION IS NOW THAT WE HAVE THIS KNOWLEDGE, NOW THAT THE
AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE AWARE OF THIS, WHAT ARE FOOD COMPANIES
GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?
>> LITTLE CAESAR'S CREATED THE NEW BACON WRAPPED DEEP, DEEP
DISH PIZZA TOPPED WITH PEPPERONI AND BACON AND WRAPPED
IN OVER THREE AND A HALF FEET OF BACON!
>> Jon: IT APPEARS THEY'RE GOING TO SAY (BLEEP) YOU ANYWAY.
(LAUGHTER) SCREW YOUR HEALTH STUDY!
LITTLE CAESAR'S WILL WRAP THAT STUDY IN BACON, BATTER IT,
DEEP FRY IT AND FEED IT THROUGH YOUR ANUS WITH A 32-OUNCE SODA.
(LAUGHTER) THE LAST PART IS, IF YOU HAVE
THE COUPON.
(LAUGHTER) THE I DON'T GIVE A (BLEEP)
APPROACH IS GETTING A LOT OF TRACTION IN THE A FAST FOOD
COMMUNITY.
>> WHAT COULD BE BETTER THAN GOLDEN CORRAL'S PIPING HOT
DELICIOUS YEAST ROLLS?
HOW ABOUT SIX FREE YEAST ROLLS TO TAKE HOME!
>> COTTON CANDY AND THE CHOCOLATE WONDER-FALL.
BOTH PART OF OUR ENDLESS BUFFET.
>>EVERY ROUND OF FRIDAY'S ENDLESS APPS COULD BE A
DIFFERENT ENDLESS APP.
>> OLIVE GARDEN'S NEW BUY ONE, TAKE ONE, GO FOR DINNER TONIGHT
AND TAKE HOME A SECOND ENTREE FOR LATER.
>> Jon: LATER?
YOU WENT THERE FOR DINNER!
ARE YOU WORRIED YOU WILL GET LIGHTHEADED UNLESS YOU HAVE A
SPARE DINNER FOR THE RIDE HOME?
WHICH OLIVE GARDEN ARE YOU GOING TO?
YOU CAN CHOOSE ONE THAT'S CLOSE TO YOU!
AND ISN'T SUCH A FAR DRIVE THAT YOU NEED A SECOND DINNER!
THERE'S ALMOST AS MANY OLIVE GARDENS AS THERE ARE STARBUCKS!
IDEA FOR A BUSINESS, COMBO PASTA AND COFFEE CHAIN RESTAURANT,
OLIVE BUCKS.
FEATURED MENU ITEM, THE VENTI ROSEMARY MOCHA ALFREDO,
3,000 CALORIES OF "OH, MY GOD...
BUT, WHILE SOME --
IT REALLY MAKES ME FEEL LIKE HOMER SIMPSON.
WHILE SOME ESTABLISHMENTS ARE GIVING OUR OBESITY
CRISIS A CHUBBY MIDDLE FINGER, OTHERS ARE MORE CONFLICTED
ABOUT THEIR ROLE.
HERE'S McDONALD'S IN JANUARY.
>> ALL VEGETARIANS, FOODIES AND GASTRONAUTS KINDLY AVERT
YOUR EYES.
YOU CAN'T GET JUICINESS LIKE THIS FROM SOY OR QUINOA.
THIS IS NOT GREEK YOGURT, NOR WILL THAT EVER BE KALE.
>> Jon: HEY, WE CLEAR, YOU FOODY (BLEEP)S?
THE ONLY KALE MCDONALD'S WILL EVER SERVE IS TO THE CHICKEN
WHOSE ANUS GOES IN YOUR McNUGGETS!
BUT THEN IN MARCH, MCDONALD'S DOES THIS.
>> McDONALD'S TRYING TO OFFER HEALTHIER FARE TO ITS CUSTOMERS.
THIS LAST WEEK EXECUTIVES ANNOUNCED THE U.S. RESTAURANTS
WILL STOP SELLING CHICKEN RAISED WITH ANTIBIOTICS
OVER THE NEXT TWO YEARS.
>> Jon: CHICKEN WITHOUT ANTIBIOTICS?
WELL, NOW I'M CONFLICTED.
I WANT HEALTHIER FOOD, BUT I'LL MISS TREATING MY EAR
INFECTIONS WITH THE BUFFALO RANCH McCHICKEN.
(LAUGHTER) AND THE MAKING -- EW,
THAT'S HALFWAY IN THERE -- AND THE MAKING FOOD SLIGHTLY LESS
BAD FOR YOU CRAZE IS SPREADING.
>> DUNKIN' DONUTS ELIMINATING THE CHEMICAL USED TO GIVE
POWDERED DOUGHNUTS THAT BRIGHT WHITE LOOK.
>> Jon: I'M NOT A CHEF...
BUT I THOUGHT THE THING THAT GAVE THOSE DONUTS THE BRIGHT
WHITE LOOK WAS POWDERED SUGAR!
BUT WHAT IF A COMPANY WANTS THE POSITIVE P.R. OF GOING
HEALTHY BUT DOESN'T WANT THE HASSLE OF ACTUALLY
IMPROVING THEIR PRODUCT. WELL THERE'S A SOLUTION FOR THEM TOO.
>> WE DO WANT TO MOVE TO A NEW KIDS EAT RIGHT LABEL THAT WILL
SOON BE APPEARING ON KRAFT SINGLES FROM THE
ACADEMY OF NUTRITION AND DIETETICS.
>> Jon: WHY?
HERE'S HOW YOU KNOW KRAFT HAS NOT CHANGED THEIR INGREDIENTS.
KRAFT IS STILL NOT LEGALLY ALLOWED TO CALL THIS PRODUCT
"CHEESE."
HOW YOU MIGHT WONDER DID KRAFT SINGLES MANAGE TO WRANGLE A KIDS
EAT RIGHT LABEL?
>> THE ACADEMY HAS A PROGRAM CALLED KIDS EAT RIGHT.
THEY ENTERED INTO AN AGREEMENT WITH KRAFT WHERE KRAFT
IS HELPING SUPPORT THIS. THEY'RE GIVING MONEY TO THE ACADEMY
TO SUPPORT THIS PROGRAM AND IN EXCHANGE THEY
GET TO PUT THIS LABEL ON THEIR PRODUCTS.
>> SO KRAFT IS PAYING THE ACADEMY --
>> Jon: THAT SOUNDS REASONABLE. TURNS OUT THE ACADEMY OF
DIETETICS IS AN ACADEMY IN THE SAME WAY THIS IS CHEESE.
AT THIS POINT WE SHOULD JUST STOP TRYING WITH THE HEALTHY
STUFF AND EMBRACE WHO WE REALLY ARE AND PERHAPS START
WITH THE BEACON OF FREEDOM WHO DREW SO MANY OF
OUR ANCESTORS HERE WITH THOSE FAMOUS WORDS -- GIVE ME YOUR
THAI FOOD, YOUR PORK CHOPS, YOUR HUNGRY MASSES, YEARNING TO
BREATHE HEAVILY.