hey guys Jocelyn here before we get into
all the nitty gritties sonic stuff Wiz
needs me to direct you to a link in the
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I know ads suck but they really help us
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all right I know you guys are ready for
some crazy facts about Sonic but no not
this time this is a fact free zone
because today is a special day today is
ranch day sure I might just be mad and
yes maybe it's because whiz built that
weird green stuff in the break room and
it turned my sandwich into a sentient
food being and no it didn't help that
boomstick shot it but yeah none of that
matters because I'm gonna tell you
exactly what is wrong with Sonic I'm
Jocelyn the intern I do all the research
nobody else wants to straight from the
desk of death battle look I have nothing
against Sonic no far from it I have beef
with the Sonic fans because they are the
reason we'll probably never get another
good Sonic game again check it most of
the time fan bases keep something alive
like you guys thanks to you watching
this I may be able to get my own office
but the sonic fans are something
different they suck the life right out
of the franchise pretty much making sure
that no matter what happens with Sonic
there will be some form of outrage let's
start at the beginning the birth of
Sonic he was born as a joint venture
between Sega Japan and Sega America to
help compete against Nintendo's new
system thus Ness the Super Nintendo you
know now here is where they messed up
you see secondly tons of different Sonic
continuities although Japan and America
had the same games we got the bulk of
our stories from the cartoons which were
vastly different in their respective
countries America had multiple
continuities itself the most popular one
being the Saturday morning cartoon
series better known as SatAM which
shares a lot of similarities with the
Archie comic line and those two have
absolutely nothing in common with The
Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon
Europe even had its own comic series and
of course Japan was no different they
had a ton of different Sonic's ranging
from comics manga anime you name it they
had it hell they even had one where he
was a school boy who turned into Sonic
but hey in the 90s it didn't really
matter
all of these different fans would never
meet up and fracture the audience into
multiple warring factions of fandom then
that exact thing happened thanks to the
Internet at first it wasn't too bad I
mean yeah some people wanted this or
that in the general story of Sonic but
mainly they all wanted more badass fast
paced gameplay hmm sadly we as humans
ruined this some of you may not remember
and I'm ashamed to admit it but there
was a time in the 90s where gamers
simply thought more dimensions meant
better games and the future we then
collectively looked Sega in the eye and
said hey buddy if you don't make sonic
3d for his next game then we won't buy
it because we're dumb and we don't know
any better
Sega fearing we would give all our money
to Nintendo instead did exactly that
despite the saturn not being able to
support it well Sonic made his jump up
in dimensions via Sonic 3d blast and it
was well it was just kind of okay to be
honest but then we got o sonic
adventures Sega changed all the
characters and updated their looks and
this fractured the community more but
overall sonic adventures was the Holy
Grail
we sat with our Dreamcast gleefully
spitting on the 64 bit peasants over at
Nintendo but our joy did not last
however you see we hastily asked Sega
for another and then adventures to was
rushed along corners were cut and
somehow we ended up with shadow at this
point everyone who had grown up with a
Genesis move to the left and promptly
said ah what the hell is this emo
looking Hedgehog doing here and then
everyone fifteen years or younger said
whoa cool his black and red and that is
so edgy from there on out the world of
Sonic split in twine those who held on
to the old and those who embraced the
new Sega confused by thousands of people
yelling different demands at them struck
what may be the largest blow to the
fandom that has ever happened they
decided to make a standalone shadow game
and flood the franchise with even more
stupid characters but what really caught
chaos was this image of shadow who has
an effing gun why I don't know what Sega
was probably high on crack from what I
can tell but it happened and it
instantly made a franchise that was
always cool by Nature seem like a
franchise struggling to remain cool and
a pub but if people flip their from
this point on all the separate sonic
plan factions have been asking for their
perfect Sonic game
so then Sega in turn tries to make them
all happy and in doing so they just seem
to piss everyone off even more probably
because most of the games suck really
bad now that you can see just how
strange and fractured the sonic world is
I would like to bring up one final point
Sonic created furries yes you heard me
it all started in the SatAM cartoon
Sally goddamn acorn on her own merits
Sally is one bad broad but she was far
too sexualized for an anthropomorphic
character on a kids TV show and they
didn't stop there look at almost all the
female characters in the sonic franchise
they are all overly sexualized and this
has started a very very strange
subculture just google your name plus
the Hedgehog seriously any name followed
by the Hedgehog you just go ahead and
follow that rabbit hole down into the
depths of cringe town although Sonic
isn't solely to blame there was also
that lustful look Nala had in the Lion
King and between this and Sonic our
generation was predispositioned for an
anthropomorphic fetish yes
hope you guys enjoy that now don't
forget to give this episode a thumbs up
and spread the word about the show the
other day boomstick looked me right in
the eye when I spoke to him so I think
I'm doing something right if you're new
to the show you can catch up on the
previous episodes by clicking the
playlist annotation watch the episodes
and then you can be all smart like