(man speaking)
- Oh, my vagina's out.
(Nicole screams)
- Well first you have no (bleep) shoes on,
what are those slippers?
You're gonna get a splinter.
(static)
(pop music)
(static)
- Wait, where's my (bleep) blast in a glass hat?
- You have a blast in a glass hat?
- Michael looks 10, oh my god. - Yes
- Where's my hat?
- You're looking for your hat?
- Where's your pants?
More like it, Deener.
- [Deena] Do you wanna come with?
- Yeah.
And uh, we got a situation.
- Oh my god.
The hat makes it worse.
- So you like, wave it in the air and stuff?
- Wait, were they gonna touch each other?
- ... In my bikini, like this.
- Oh my god!
- Oh wow, really?
- Deener!
- [Mike] Everything looks situated.
(Mike chuckles)
- And she knows there's 10 men in the room with cameras
and you show your whole snerb.
(drumming melody)
♪ Subtlety is underrated ♪
- No you can't...
- My god!
It's hanging off her.
- [Deena] Help me.
- You looked awesome.
- Now is she gonna go back out and tell
that she saw her bat in front of the camera crew?
- A day? Really?
It took a day for somebody to see my goods.
I can't.
- Oh, it's only day two in the house?
(static)
(club music)
- Isn't Heather your girlfriend?
- Oh god, that's that crazy girl.
Jenni's tits look perfect tonight.
(club music)
There's definitely no panties involved in this scene.
(screaming)
Ew!
- I gotta pee.
Upstairs at Karma there's no bathrooms.
- Yup.
I would've done the same thing.
I peed before waiting in line
at a pizzeria once in a garbage can.
No one even saw me.
- Stop it!
- I'm gonna show Meilani this.
- Who pees in a bar?
- At least she hosed down like a lady.
- [Jenni] I watered it down.
- Well at least she didn't have her whole snerb out.
At least she went behind the bar.
And didn't expose herself.
Cause then we'd be charged with that.
(static)
- I can (bleep) knock someone out even though I'm small.
- I get it, relax.
- Multiple flower pins in her hair.
- [Snooki] Meatball problems.
- What a wreck.
- [Snooki] Dude, let's go inside.
Ready for the hot tub?
Bein' kicked out of the club?
Meatball problems!
- Are you a rapper?
- [Snooki] You can pee in the hot tub.
(Snooki screams)
It's burning my skin, I can't.
- I hate hot tubs.
- Burning your cooka in a jacuzzi.
Meatball problems.
- What is this?
Someone's feeding her those lines.
- Ew.
Do they have panties on?
- I don't even know what time it is.
I feel like it's early because the sun's up.
- Go to bed you slob.
I once caught hot tub dermatitis from a hot tub.
I was itchy all over.
(static)
(club music)
- Oh my god.
Her whole panties are out!
- I don't care if people look at me (bleep) funny,
- Obviously.
- I just love to dance, and get off from it.
- Oh!
Does she have shoes on?
- Why are you trying to put her back up there?
Obviously she can't---
- Did Deena really just fall off the st-- yeah.
I fell off the (bleep) stage.
I'm really fine.
I'll go by myself.
- Clips falling out of her hair.
- Deena likes to call herself "The Holiday",
and I like to call her "The Holiday Inn".
So, six minutes and 53 seconds into Karma,
- What's hangin' off her?
- The Holiday Inn closed early tonight.
♪ She's out of control ♪
- Bye girl.
Everyone was 21 at one point in their life,
and a hot mess.
I mean, not this hot of a mess.
People could keep their pants on at least.
(static)
- [Snooki] If I want to have a beer,
I'm allowed to have a beer.
- Oh Lord.
- Danny I'll do anything.
- Stop, drunk (bleep).
- [Snooki] I told Danny that I was going to go get coffee.
- Where are your shoes?
- But I really went to the bar to take shots.
To smushing tonight!
- To smushing!
- (Bleep) wreck.
(gasp)
Stop.
- Do like this, take the shot,
and then take it out of her mouth.
- Who are these old people?
- [Snooki] Hell yeah!
- Nicole is smashed right now.
She's on like a 24 hour binge...
- Stop, she's letting old people lick stuff off her.
Oh my god!
I mean, I'd probably hook up with him nowadays but...
Cover your-- Oh my god, wipe your mouth!
- Next thing you know, she is darting.
- Yup, this is what we call Drenning.
When Nicole blacks out like this,
it's a character called Dren, it's her alter ego.
So, she's Drenning right now.
She does not remember any of this.
I've been punched before.
- Nicole!
- I would run to the water.
Run, bitch!
- [Nicole] This is a good time.
- [Deena] No, you don't wanna go in the water...
- Is Deena wearing a diaper?
- [Deena] Just afraid she's gonna turn around
and run to the beach again.
- She--
(wheezing laughter)
Girl you gotta put her on a leash.
Grab her hair extension.
Oh! She's on the loose.
See, this is what I have over these two girls.
I can hogtie her and throw her over my shoulder
and then drag her out of the bar like I have to most times.
- The police decide to help me pull Nicole off the beach.
- I'm surprised she didn't try to have sex with the cop.
- Get the (bleep) off.
Get off.
(Handcuffs closing)
- Oh!
Now it's over.
- I'm a (bleep) good person.
- Yes girl, I know.
Pull her glasses up!
(siren wails)
- [Nicole] Not okay, and I'm mad!
- What was that?
- [Nicole] You guys are my friends.
- Could we get subtitles on that?
That was a (bleep) (bleep) show.
There's a switch that hits, and she goes from Nicole,
then it goes to Snooki,
and then it hits to Dren.
Like you know, you can't just run in
and grab Dren and get her out of there.
When you see it's happening, you gotta ease in
like you're going up to a deer to pet it.
Otherwise it'll (bleep) bolt.
(drumbeats)