Hello.
Josh.
Can we just have a beat?
That little kid.
Elon Musk is watching that kid and saying he's crazier
than I am.
Yeah.
He's going to start his own like space force and everything.
Are your kids as awesome as that kid?
Uh, no.
[LAUGHS]
I want to say yes, but I'd be lying.
I'd be like-- now, I feel like a horrible parent,
because I would go home and be like,
do you guys know what Jupiter is?
And they'd be like, mm, can I have more cookies?
Like no.
That's how I felt. But I was like, wow,
that's totally like my kids.
But not.
Right.
I was, like, yeah.
I was backstage being like, oh Mila's got to know that.
I know.
I have no idea what any of those rules about planets
are by the way.
I had a cheat sheet on the back of them,
and I was like, he's saying more than the producers wrote down.
I was like, I don't know this.
He could be making it up.
I was googling it.
I'm like, oh my god.
This kid's smart.
Earth does that?
I'm glad that you and I are both--
Yeah.
Oh god.
Yeah.
--awesome parents.
Yay us.
Yay.
So you-- I met you when you worked with my husband.
Yes.
On the Steve Jobs movie.
Yes.
Many, many, many, many, many years ago.
What did you think of my husband?
I love him.
Thank God.
Me too.
I love-- I love him so much.
No.
Ashton is such a good guy.
He really gets into his roles.
You know, he--
He's a much better actor than me.
Much better than me too.
To get into the role of Steve Jobs he did Steve's diet.
Yeah.
So he did this like fruitarian diet thing.
This is why I only play fat people on film.
But he did this like thing, and he like legitimately-- he
got really sick doing it.
Yeah.
We were dating, and we had to--
We weren't.
You and Ashton were.
Josh, you don't remember that--
I don't--
Weird.
Awkward.
I don't recall.
Ashton and I started dating, and I
had to take him to the hospital because he was on a grape diet.
Right.
Guys, don't go on a grape diet.
OK?
You will end up in like a-- he had pancreatitis from doing it.
Yeah.
Pizza and pasta.
That's a much better diet.
Works best.
Yeah.
Then, now, you worked with Kristen Bell and Kathryn Hahn.
Yes.
So wait.
What did you work with Kathryn on?
It's none of your business.
Oh.
It's a--
Josh.
It's a special project we haven't announced yet.
No.
We're doing this animated series for Apple called
Central Park with both of them.
I feel, but you should come and play with them.
I'm not that talented.
No.
You are.
But it did-- it felt like I'm the new bad mom.
You are.
Yeah.
You just told us your kid's not as good as the six-year-old--
so nailed it.
That's true.
Bad Moms and a strange dad.
It's a great sequel.
Yeah, no.
I'm working with them.
I love them to death.
Yeah.
They're great.
They are unbelievable.
They're amazing.
But you're doing voices, so you're not in the same booth.
Or you guys--
Well, we talk to each show.
Even though its voices, I'm still a human,
and they're humans.
And we talk to each other.
Wait.
You guys.
Wait.
What?
No.
You know what's funny?
Is Kristen and I--
Yeah?
Actually, I'm just thinking about this now.
You did a little movie called Frozen together.
We did do a movie called Frozen.
Yeah.
And--
[CHEERING]
Thank you.
Yeah.
We've never recorded together.
We've never been in a booth together.
You and K-Bell?
No.
No?
No.
Well, I'm never in a booth for anybody for Family Guy.
Is that right?
No.
It's been like 20 years, and I never.
That's weird.
Is it us?
Do they just not like us?
You should come on Family Guy and then see
if you and I can record together.
Yes.
This is absolutely great.
What is your favorite thing to do with your kids?
Oh, well.
My favorite thing to do with my kids
is to watch movies that my wife tells me
they should not be watching.
Oh, like what?
Well, I just showed them the--
that picture of them.
Oh my god.
I'm sorry.
Your kids are beautiful.
Oh, thank you.
Congrats on your wife.
Thank you.
What, guys?
What?
It's a fact.
Well, that is true.
That is true.
Um.
So I started showing them The Indiana Jones trilogy.
How old are your kids?
Yeah.
Five and eight.
Meh.
Questionable.
But I watched-- like I watched Nightmare on Elm Street
when I was 11.
And look at what happened.
I know.
My mom's backstage.
Mom, what the [BLEEP] were you thinking?
But I don't even know if I can say that here.
Yeah.
You're fine.
It's the new version of daytime.
Ellen, we changed some things while you were gone.
I hope you don't mind.
Indiana Jones.
Yeah.
Indiana Jones.
So I showed it to them.
And there's a lot of--
turns out there's a lot of stuff in there
they didn't know about.
Like I had to explain--
they're like, what are those bad guys?
And I'm like, oh, they're called Nazis.
Oh boy.
And they're like, oh, are they real?
I'm like, yeah.
Well, they were.
And they're like are they gone now?
And I'm like kinda not.
No.
And then they're like--
Josh.
Yeah.
It was a lot of hard explaining to do.
Did you really have to talk about it?
I really did.
And then they think Indy vanquished them
after the first one.
And then we watch the third one, the Nazis are back.
The Nazis are back.
They gave me that face.
OK.
Hold on.
I have to ask you to promote your movie.
Yes.
What?
You play a dog.
I do.
I play a dog.
Can you guys tell--
This is the only-- by the way, the only industry
where you start a non sequitur with you play a dog.
Yes.
I do.
I'm sure that Ellen would have had a very creative transition.
I thought it was great.
I got nothing.
So you play a dog.
I do.
I play a dog named Bailey, and it is just--
I just saw the movie, and--
Did you cry?
I didn't cry.
I will.
I heaved.
I was literally in the thea-- this is true.
I was in the theater watching it with my assistant.
Yeah.
And the two of us, and I looked at her.
And I saw this.
I saw--
Oh no.
And then it opened up--
I'm like, oh, what a wimp?
And then I looked back, and I was--
[MOANING] Oh no.
No.
Oh, not the dog.
It was so painful.
But in a great-- go see it.