- [Man] I think you fell asleep. There you go.
- [Woman] Okay, I think I'm stuck.
- [Man] No, nope.
- [Woman] Is yours stuck?
- [Man] Nope, that's just how it works
- [Woman] Ow, it's hurting.
- [Man] You're pulling it tighter.
- [Woman] No but it's hurting me.
- [Man] Then take it off!
- [Woman] It's hurting my baby
- [Man] You're pulling it tighter!
- [Woman] Ow.
- [Man] Is this your first time flying?
- [Women] Nah, yeah, nah. So, like, when it takes off does it just, like, immediately
go up in the air or does it just, like, does it kind of go into the air?
- [Man] I don't think it hits the ground
- [Woman] Are you a lifeguard?
- [Man] No.
- [Woman] Okay, okay, I'm okay. What is that?
- [Man] That's not, you're just shaking your seat
- [Woman] What is that?
- [Man] It's nothing.
- [Woman] Is that turbulence?
- [Man] No, you're just
- [Man] Shaking.
- [Woman] Are we going down?
- [Man] You're not.
- [Women] Is there a gorilla?
- [Man] We haven't.
- [Woman] Is there a pilot in the front? Is he drunk?
- [Man] Yeah?
- [Woman] That guy, I think that guy has a gun. I think that guy has a gun.
- [Man] I don't think he has a gun. He's eleven years old at best.
- [Woman] That guy has a gun, that guy.
- [Man] He's not a guy, he's eleven.
- [Women] He just keeps popping bubbles like he wants to, like, pop pop me in the face.
- [Man] No.
- [Woman] Okay, so, are you gonna disarm him or should I?
- [Man] I'm, no, I'm not, there's nothing, he's eleven.
- [Woman] Are you a lifeguard?
- [Man] I'm not a lifeguard, again.
- [Man] Ah yeah, I get like that too.
- [Woman] Planes make me tired.
- [Man] Could you just. You fell asleep.
- [Woman] No. Randy..
- [Man] I think you fell asleep. I think you fell asleep. There you go. I think we're here.
- [Woman] Ow.
- [Man] Oh my god, seriously?
- [Woman] Ugh, fuck this chair is not. Does your chair work?
- [Man] It seems fine.
- [Woman] God. I feel like everyone here smells. Why does everyone smell?
- [Man] I don't smell anything.
- [Woman] It's just like a turn of the century France? Does nobody shower? Is that what's
happening here? Are we all just filthy animals? Oh my god. Do you think they got my Kosher
meal right? Probably not. Why didn't I get to bring my dog? Where is my in flight magazine?
My barf bag is too small. Who's baby is that? Who's baby is that? Enough, enough! I was
on zone one and I boarded zone two and it's like they were like, "You didn't come for
zone one." And I was like, "I'm in zone one" And then my ticket ripped. Do you know what
they feels like? Do you know what that feels like? You have no idea? My ticket ripped and
they thought that I was a criminal. I went through TSA, they patted me down, they patted
my up and down. I had a laptop, it's gone.
- [Woman] But yeah, I love to travel. I was visiting family.
- [Man] Ah, that's great.
- [Woman] Yeah, it was a funeral, though.
- [Man] Oh, sorry.
- [Woman] I wish you wouldn't bring stuff like this up, it really hurts me. But I'll
forgive you because I like your shirt. Even though my ex-boyfriend used to have that shirt.
Asshole, we broke up three weeks ago.
- [Man] I'm sorry.
- [Woman] I haven't got my period yet, so, fingers crossed on that one. That would suck
because I cannot have a baby right now. I just, I'm totally broke and I'm, like, trying
to pay off thousands of dollars in debt and I just cannot afford a child right now. I
don't know what I would do. I'd go crazy! I guess it's a good thing because I'm not
on my period right now and being on your period in a plane would suck. You ever had to deal
with that? Changing a tampon in those tiny, little bathrooms back there? Ugh, I hate talking
about stuff like that. It makes me feel kinda nauseous. But how are you feeling?
- [Man] I'm feeling great. I'm going to a work convention.
- [Woman] Yeah.
- [Man] It's gonna be so great.
- [Woman] What'd you do last night?
- [Man] I just stayed in and watched--
- [Woman] I went to party and I drank way too much. Ah, I had the craziest dream last
night. It's kind of a fantasy actually. It was a sex dream. The guy looked actually a
lot like you. It's weird, I know.
- [Man] Oh, sorry.
- [Man on left] I'm not one of those people that needs to talk, okay? I actually prefer
if we just... The whole flight, silence.
- [Man] You got it.
- [Man on left] I mean, there are those people that just the entire time, from one end of
the country to the other end of the country you find out about their story. You don't
need to know. You don't need to know their entire stories. You don't need to know my
life story.
- [Man] Yep.
- [Man on left] And I was born in Canada. I moved down here and then moved back to Canada,
and then moved back to the U.S. You don't need to know.
- [Man] Okay.
- [Man on left] You're not gonna get anything out of me. Just not, just a peep. I'm not
gonna wanna talk this entire time. I'm not gonna want to bother you 'cause I don't like
to be bothered. This random stranger, that you don't even know, was just telling you
things and going around the same points over and over again. It's not they're contributing
to any thoughts going into your brain. Besides maybe shut up, don't talk, just stop talking
about those things. So, I'm not gonna talk.
- [Man] I'm just gonna use the bathroom.
- [Man on left] Oh my gosh, jeez! Please, stop talking to me.
- [Man on left] Hey, hey, how's it goin'? You see that season finale of
- [Man] Ah, I don't wanna hear spoilers.
- [Man on left] You should totally, you should watch it. The... Finally hooks up with...
Tension this whole time and then finally he goes into the house and... And then they...
It's just the most amazing scene ever. You should totally watch it, yeah. I don't wanna
spoil it for you but you should definitely watch it. You should definitely watch it.
And guess what happens? You wanna hear it, you wanna hear it? I mean, it's the best part,
I mean, if you don't cry, something's wrong with you. You don't have a pulse, all right.
So, but yeah, I just, I won't spoil it for you. Oh yeah.
- [Man] Ah!
- [Man] Oh.
Sad: Awwww