You may have seen this meme: Never, in the history of calming down has anyone
calmed down by being told to calm down! So why is that? Well it's because when
we're stressed out our limbic system is kind of running the show, so this is the
deeper, older, emotional brain, and its purpose is to keep us safe from threats
and help us connect to others and a whole bunch of other really important
things, but this part of a brain is not where conscious or logical thinking
happens. That stuff all happens in the cortex the younger logical and rational
brain and these two parts of the brain when they're stressed out it's like a
bad breakup like they aren't really talking to each other very well. So
that's why it's pretty hard to calm yourself down or to relax by just
thinking that you need to relax it usually just makes things worse, but
that doesn't mean that we can't train ourselves to calm down. We just have to
come in through a different approach and that's from a body based approach. The
limbic system is also called the mammal brain, so if you imagine a momma bear who
can go through all the emotions like she's happy when she finds some honey or
she's furious when she sees something that threatens her cubs or she's sweet
when she sniffs and licks her little babies all of these emotions are
associated with her senses: smell, taste, sight, or touch, and that's how the limbic
or mammalian part of our brain works it relies on our senses to determine
whether we're safe or we're in danger. So one of the ways that we can signal to
our brain that we're safe, that it's okay to calm down is by making a sensory
toolkit. A sensory toolkit is a like a little collection of physical objects
that can help you come to your senses and get recentered, to get grounded, and
to calm yourself down. So let's talk about a couple of things that you can
add to yours. So let's start with smell because smell
is so powerful and its really closely associated with emotion and memory. So
start by choosing a couple of scents that you love or that are really calming
for you and you can keep those near you. So this could be something like
a scented lotion, or an essential oil, you can use like a little necklace diffuser
or carry the oil around with you. You could also you know use a
perfume that you really like or any other scent that you really like, so I'm
not big into essential oils, but I do really like this Balanced Blend these
are not sponsors, but I think it smells nice and makes me feel little better hmm.
Okay now let's move to touch. One thing you could do is take a self-care day and
go to the fabric store and just like run your hands along all the different types
of fabric, you know which one speaks to you, which one do you love. You could
carry a piece of satin or whatever fabric it is in your pocket or in your
purse. Now I am not really into fabric like that's not my touch calming thingy
but I do like stones a lot. Like this is a stone I found out in the
desert, and I love the desert, so I've got a lot of stones that I like and every
once in a while I'll carry one around or I'll rub it, and that can help remind me
to stay grounded. Okay, let's talk about taste now it's a good idea to be a
little bit careful with this one we want to look out for emotional eating, and so
that's not something I'm encouraging you like oh if you're emotional just go eat
you know a gallon of ice cream. But something that gives you like a little
sip or just a little taste of something soothing like a sip of tea or a little
mint like those can all be helpful to get you kind of recentered, and back to the
moment. Sometimes after a tough therapy group session I'll share a little bit of
chocolate with all the participants and you know that just helps them I think
associated a little bit of joy with the difficult work that they're doing. Okay,
let's talk about sight. What can you look at that calms you. I
mean one of the best things is just noticing the room that you're in, looking
around and noticing that you're in a safe place. Then again this is speaking
to your mammal brain right, you think about that Mama Bear who's scanning her
environment for dangers and when you scan your environment you realize you're
safe that triggers your limbic brain to be like oh cool we're good. Maybe it's a
painting of a religious figure or it's a photo of someone you
love, you could you could make a little photo collection on your phone of
pictures to look at that helped you feel safe and calm, and you can also use
mental imagery to bring something calming to mind. So when I worked in the
wilderness with troubled youth, and sometimes I get really stressed out
because we had 8 day shifts with these kind of difficult teenagers. Anyway when
I get stressed out I just grab a handful of sagebrush and I'd smell it or I'd I'd
look at the blue sky to get centered and and those were some of the sensory
grounding techniques that I would use to help me calm down. Okay, now let's talk
about sound what kind of sounds make you feel safe, is it white noise, or running
water, birds chirping, or complete silence. What kind of music makes you feel safe?
You could choose a couple of go-to songs that help you remember that you are safe
and they bring to mind that sense of peace and security in your life. So take
a minute right now to write a list of the things that you may find soothing in
each of these categories. Then go out and explore take some time each day to
experiment with your five senses. You could start a little note in your
phone where you write down what helps you calm down and relax, and you could
carry these things around in your backpack, or your purse, or your wallet, or
whatever, and you can use them to help you when you need them. Anyways I hope
you found this video helpful, thank you for spending a few minutes of your
precious life with me, and take care.