Hi, guys.
I'm Tracy.
And I'm Andy.
And this week was a roller coaster of an episode,
so let's just jump in.
We've got to get right to it, and you know who we need--
Miss New Jersey himself.
Get in here.
Yay!
I feel like you could be Miss New Jersey.
Could be?
How about he is?
Look at him.
Why am I doing a prize model?
I brought my fantasy closet robe.
Is this your evening wear?
It is.
I took it right from Demi.
You're so casual.
Yeah, are you feeling comfortable?
She said, if you want to be inappropriate in front
of 25 strangers that you don't know, you should wear a robe.
And so here we are.
And there you are.
I can be uncomfortable in front of you two,
work my little shimmy.
Aaron's here!
Oh, there he is.
There he is.
OK, so let's talk about this episode.
One moment that I really like, which
maybe this is jumping ahead--
Oh, the turkey leg?
No.
That was amusing.
But I felt like we had a really good moment where Colton
walked off stage, and went behind the scenes,
and was talking to his producer--
I always love when you get to see
behind the scenes with the producer.
It makes me happy every time.
And it felt like I was seeing a genuine--
he's such a smiley--
he's a really good conversationalist,
and then to see how this was actually taking a toll on him.
I always enjoy that.
Because you see them really conflicted.
It makes them seem real.
Yeah, doesn't it feel like it's forced conflict?
They're letting you on the inside.
The first group date--
--was rated arr!
Sorry, I had to do it.
I had to do it.
You're off the hook.
Oh, see, thank you.
I think we just got canceled.
So anyway, so they go do this interacting--
they're learning how to do these pirate skills like American
Gladiator style jousting.
So Hannah keeps winning.
They're making it seem like Hannah B is going
to be the big winner of the thing,
and literally all she has to do is go--
boop, and the other girl falls, and they're just down,
and she's like, yeah!
And the best is-- wait, do that again.
Yeah!
We see Tracy, my girl, knock one person down, and we're like,
oh, she won, and then Hannah B is like, boom, boom, boom,
and they're like, well, the final two
are Tracy and Caitlin.
It was so weird.
So weird.
I just assumed it was going to be the two of them,
because they're obviously pitting them
against each other.
Right, which I'm really enjoying.
I have questions for you about that later.
Caitlin knocks Tracy off, and then she climbs up the thing,
and Colton's like, save me.
No, he goes, are you going to save me?
And she's like, yes, and then she has to untie his arm thing,
and then they have an awkward kiss.
There's not an ending in his future.
No.
Yeah.
But my favorite was when Caitlin and he
had that kiss, they, of course, cut to Hannah B, who's
just like, yuck.
They're really, really making that--
Here's the thing I have to ask, because I'm just
going to ask it right now.
OK, go ahead.
Caitlin, Hannah B, which one do we think is right?
First of all, it's the kiss of death
to go early on in the date--
And waste your date talking about someone else.
It's always kiss of death.
It never ends well.
Don't you wonder, if I'm Hannah B--
but don't you think--
you must have been a fan of the show at some point.
Everyone has watched the show.
Every single person has watched the show.
I know it doesn't normally work, but this time it's
going to work.
I think that she was trying to get ahead of it, because I
think that she thought Caitlin would do the same thing to her,
so she was trying to beat her to the punch.
He gives Caitlin the rose, which was, to me, very much
like, I believe you.
Oh, for sure.
Side note, I saw online that Hannah G also
was in the pageant circuit, so that might
be a seed for down the line.
Comment below and let us know if you're team Caitlin or team
Hannah B.
Hanny!
Somebody will read them.
We'll count the votes.
We just confirmed, it turns out that Hannah G and Hannah B have
competed against each other.
Not just the same name, but they have
competed against each other.
I love our conspiracy theory expert
that we now have in the cubicle.
I go deep on the dark web.
You do love the Miss America Pageant.
Let's move on to the one-on-one date.
I just want to bring up again how-- the first episode--
you knew I was going to bring it up.
I know.
By the way, here's the thing.
We were watching it live, and the whole thing
I kept thinking about-- and I didn't
want to say anything while we were watching--
was Tracy's right.
Yeah, he takes Elyse out on the one-on-one date.
As a reminder, Elyse is a beautiful redhead.
And 31.
31 years old-- she's in the cougar club.
She's someone, who just being in the helicopter, seemed
like if that was the date with him--
Which often it is, by the way.
She's real.
But that's all it was.
There was a moment in the helicopter where
she turned and looked at him, and the way she looked at him,
my heart was happy.
She's real and endearing.
She was so-- just genuinely likes him.
I think she goes far.
I don't think she wins, but I think she
goes farther than [INAUDIBLE].
They definitely connected on another level on this date.
She's a hometown date kind of of contestant.
Totally.
And she's sweet.
Oh my god, you guys, and the story about her sister.
I know.
I literally-- the whole time she was talking,
I was just like, no, don't let this end
how I think it's going to end.
I know.
So, basically, she tells this story-- just to recap.
You watched it, but just as a recap--
she tells this story about her sister who got pregnant,
and then during the pregnancy got this tumor.
Oh my god.
And then they just only cared about the baby,
and then the baby was born healthy,
and then she passed away.
Literally, just talking about it right now.
It's really upsetting.
It's unbelievable.
But she spoke about it in a really articulate,
consoled way.
And you could tell Colton was really impacted by it.
He obviously gives her the rose.
How could you not?
They kiss, and then--
you saw her a few seasons before--
who did they get?
Tenille Arts.
How do they find these talented people?
As soon as Tenille Arts showed up, I thought about you.
They're sitting there at the table, and I was like, wait,
there's no performance?
By the way, I totally Shazamed that song
and have it on my phone.
It was a good song.
It was a really good song.
All right, so then we go to the second group date,
and this was a workout.
Oh, the first thing you saw was him whipping the ropes
and shirtless.
And also with one arm.
He was like, (GRUNTS)-- and it was really hot with his body.
I mean, I didn't hate it.
No, it was actually--
That was hot Colton.
It was enjoyable.
Oh, and we have a little cameo from Terry Crews.
Oh, and his wife.
How sweet are they?
They are ripped.
They tell them they're going to compete in Bachelor's strongest
woman.
Which, to me, sounds like the most awful group date ever.
And by the way, it looked like it.
They did the hundred-pound cake push.
They did the ring toss, and then the limo pull.
Not happening, no.
I think that the limo is already kind of rolling, and then they
just--
No.
There's a dude sitting in it on the gas.
There's just no way.
Put it in drive.
So then the final three are Catherine, Sydney--
who, Sydney, we had on the show, was in good shape--
the fitness instructor-- and then Onyeka.
So anyway, when Onyeka ends up winning,
I like how she's explaining it, and she's like,
and then I realized that I was way ahead of them.
And then she puts the medicine ball in the thing,
and she wins.
Great.
By a mile.
Oh, she killed it.
Yeah, so she wins the trophy, and all is well,
and then they have their cocktail party.
But something that happened at the cocktail party
that was V surprising--
so poor Caitlin from Toronto.
She's a perfect example of someone who just was like,
there's no depth to me, because nothing bad's ever
happened to me.
It's like, that's not what depth is.
There's not anything I'm willing to share,
and my future with you consists of fun nights
out with my girlfriends.
Oh my god, I know.
As soon as she opened her mouth with that garbage, I was like--
Someone needed to take the joust,
and just get her on out of here.
When he tried to walk her out, she's like, don't touch me.
Don't hold my hand.
She was mad.
But honestly, I liked that about Colton.
I liked that he was just like, you
know what, this is clearly not here.
I'm not going to pretend.
I wonder if they give him a couple of those-- you can
boot people whenever you want.
So anyway, the group date rose goes to Nicole-- your girl.
So then, obviously, there's this really dramatic moment
where Chris Harrison walks in, and he's
like, there's not going to be a cocktail party, because instead
there's a pool party.
And Colton won't have his shirt on.
Yeah, exactly, but that's when the bulk of the Caitlin/Hannah
B drama happens.
I think inevitably neither are going
to go all the way because of this.
So then we go to the rose ceremony.
Cross them out.
So we have to say goodbye to--
Caitlin [INAUDIBLE].
Sorry about that.
Yep.
OK.
Then we have Bri.
Oh, she was Australian.
That really never played out.
Did that ever play out?
No.
On the live show, but no.
I was like, why didn't they--
Nina, who was more like Never Saw Ya.
And Catherine, which she had her moment in episode one,
and then really not again.
What did he say?
He mentioned the dog on the way out.
Have fun with--
Lucy or whatever it was.
So they go to Singapore.
We get a little tease that there's
going to be a one-on-one with Caitlin, it seems like.
And then more drama, more tears.
I like it.
I love it, obviously.
That's why we do this every day.
A big thanks to y'all for watching.
And tune in next week for a recap.
And comment below, because at some point, one day soon,
we're going to read them and answer them.
Does anybody read them?
Do y'all read them?
How are they?
We read them.
Oh, we actually read them.
They're good?
Yeah, they're good.
They really like us?