(audience cheering)
- So, I'll tell ya a little story about Disney World,
you wanna hear a true Adam Sandler story?
(audience cheering) Please, I can--
(audience cheering) Okay.
So you guys have been to Disney World, right?
The families have been there?
Who doesn't have kids and still goes to Disney World?
(audience cheering)
You fuckin' stoners.
(audience laughing) I'm onto you.
(laughs) All right, so I go to Disney World recently
with my wife and the two kids.
My kids wanted to go on this roller coaster,
they were very excited, so we wait on the line,
and we're waitin', and you know the lines are very long
so it takes like an hour and 15 minutes.
We get to the front of the line,
and then the roller coaster, we find out,
only takes three people at a time,
so, there's four of us, and I see my wife and the two kids
just immediately start walking to the thing,
and I was like, "we're not even gonna flip a coin,
"not even a thought, right?"
They're like, "Oh, no, no",
and I was like, "Yeah, all right."
(audience laughing) And so, I'm sittin' there,
very angry, and I'm stewin',
like, "I waited a fuckin' hour and 15 minutes
"to go on this fuckin' shit with you guys,
"and you fuckin' bail on me",
and then I see it happens to some other dad from Oklahoma,
and he's muttering, he's like "God damn motherfucker,
"thank me and shit",
and I'm like, "Oh, yeah."
And then I say to the other dad,
I go, "You wanna fuckin' me and you go on it together?"
And he's like, "What?"
And I go, "Well, I'm not goin' alone,
"let's fuckin' do this shit, I'll go with you."
And he's like "Yeah, whatever the fuck you want", whatever.
(audience laughing) And so,
(Adam laughs)
So I get on the roller coaster with the guy,
and we're both not talkin' to each other.
The roller coaster takes off,
and you know how they take off so fuckin' fast
that both our necks snap back,
and we look at each other,
and he's like, "Whoa, that got me."
I was like, "Oh, yeah, that was fucked up",
and we start laughin' a little bit,
and we're fuckin',
all of a sudden loosening up,
and we're fuckin' doin' all the jettin',
bangin' into these fuckin' crazy turns.
I'm fuckin' leaning,
100% leaning on the guy.
He's lookin' at me like, "What the fuck?"
I was like, "Hey, here we are."
And we're laughin' our asses off,
and then I'm like, holy shit, I haven't been this happy
in at least 11 years.
(audience laughing) I know that,
but whatever, I'm fuckin--
(audience clapping)
jettin' around, fuckin' do a loop-de-loop,
he's fuckin' bumpin' my fist,
I'm like, "Yeah, motherfucker!"
He's like, "Yeah, baby."
We get to the end,
you know how the break comes outta nowhere,
fuckin' screeches on, both our fuckin' heads snap again,
he's like, "They got us again."
I was like, "Fuck, again, we'll never learn."
(audience laughing)
So, they were creepin' up to the, you know,
getting off the ride, how it's like a little slow exit,
and we're sittin' there, and I'm fuckin',
I feel this crazy pain in my heart,
(audience laughing) and I'm like,
"Did I fuckin' fall in love with this guy or some shit?"
(audience laughing) "What happened there?"
And he's not lookin' at me,
I'm like, "This guy feels it too",
'cause he's in a fuckin' daze, and we're both,
and my kids, they're like, "C'mon, let's go to Peter Pan!"
I was like, "All right, in a minute."
And now I'm yelling at the kids too loud now,
"I gotta say goodbye to the man!"
(audience laughing) And I get off,
I go, "Hey, nice to meet you."
He was like, "Yeah, mm-hm, nice to meet you."
And he won't look at me, and we're both all fucked up,
he goes back to his family, I go back to mine.
I'm walkin' away, and in my head,
I'm like, "I'm never gonna see that fuckin' guy again."
And I don't feel good about that.
(audience laughing)
And then I go, "But they take your picture, though."
(audience laughing) On those rides,
you know, just for memory's sake.
Just, what the fuck, lemme go see,
maybe they snapped us, maybe they didn't,
but if they did, why not fuckin',
you know, let's just see.
And so, we go (laughs),
we go to the,
I go to that place where you,
there's the fuckin' monitor up.
Sure enough, there's a picture of me and the guy,
upside-down in the loop-de-loop,
staring so deep into each other's eyes,
(audience laughing) it was fuckin' bananas.
I was like, "Okay, he felt it.
"He definitely felt it too."
(audience laughing)
So I say to the lady behind the counter,
"Hey, how much is that?"
And the lady goes, "$65."
I was like, "Oh, okay."
And then I take my phone out, and I fuckin'
snap a shot of it. (audience laughing)
And then I feel this energy behind me,
I look back, and it's the guy from Oklahoma,
he's holding the picture he just bought,
(audience laughing)
and he was like, "I wasn't worth it?"
(audience laughing)
So, anyways, (audience laughing)
if that man is watching my Netflix special right now,
I think of you a lot, sir,
I think of you a lot.