Hi this is Tutor Nick P and this is lesson 196.
Today we're going to look at the difference between modest and humble. Yeah this is
one that comes up where students say well what's the difference ? Because they
do seem similar. Let's look at the definition here first. A person who is
modest does not like to brag about their successes, achievements, etc. Even
though they are worthy of doing so. I tend to think of a modest person usually
they tend to be more quiet. Maybe they're uncomfortable talking about themselves
or maybe they're uncomfortable talking about their successes or something like
that. I don't think that they necessarily
think that they are inferior or below. So let's look at the definition for humble. A person who is
humble is not proud and does not believe they are better than others. Even though
to be honest I would be a little careful with this. If a humble person says it and
they actually mean what they say, that is true. But sometimes people just act
humble when they're not really completely humble. But we'll get to that later. All right. Let's
continue here with the note. You know when people are humble they often say things to lower their
status or standing. They will often say they are not special or even inferior in
some way or below in some way. This is one thing about humble. So humble people
often say things to lower themselves. Modest may not actually be saying
anything to lower themselves they tend to be just more quiet. Many people
probably know about that person's achievements.
Maybe other people told them and so in that way , he kind of gets credit. Or maybe he, a modest
person might say," oh well, I don't know. I'm not that big a deal. " But he won't go on about it and he won't
usually lower his status that much. All right let's go on. We often
use the word humble in phrases like in my humble opinion. Yeah this is a common
one, and very clearly you are kind of lowering your
status. If you say in my humble opinion, you're basically saying that you you're
not really an expert at this and perhaps you're not really even qualified to give
your opinion. But you're going to give your opinion anyway. So first you're bringing
yourself down. That's what we mean when people that are humble tend to do that.
Or welcome to my humble abode. Yes well sometimes it's actually meant
sarcastically or in humor but if you if you really mean it the real way. It means
that your house is not so special. It's not so fancy. Well welcome anyway, but you
know it's not that beautiful sorry. Sorry I'm not richer and have a nice more
expensive beautiful house for you to stay in. So that's what it kind of means.
Again you're lowering your status. All right this is something else to really
note here. Yeah, in Asian society being humble is often considered a good quality. For
example, I remember an old story where a Korean man invites a Westerner to his
home but he added that his wife was not so beautiful and her cooking was not so
good. So come even though, I'm sorry my wife's not so beautiful and her cooking is not so good. . I don't know if you did this in the West. a Westerner, the
husband might get in trouble if the wife found out about that. But this sometimes this is in sort of
Asian culture. It might be in Korea, it might be in Japan , it might be in China . Where this sort of idea comes through. Of course when the Westerner arrived at the house, the Korean man's wife was very beautiful and her
cooking was very delicious. So now if the, and I think in this story the Westerner
did compliment the Korean man. Oh what are you talking about. Your wife is beautiful and the cooking is good. And if
they do this, actually in Asian society this is a good way that the host will
gain face. By saying that. Oh wow she's really, what are you talking about ? You
crazy so it's kind of a way of setting up a compliment and it's kind of a way
of yeah basically doing it that way. All right and and the other one that I
always remember there was an old movie in the 1990s
called The Joy Luck Club. About four , the lives of four Asian women. But I remember
there was one scene where there was the, one of the Asian girls, she invites her
Western boyfriend home and she tried to prepare him she tried to tell him a lot
of stuff of what he should do and what he shouldn't do, And she thought she had prepared him
well. But you know, you can't say everything. It's hard to let
everybody know everything about culture in you know an hour or something like
that. while trying to prepare them. But when he arrived at the house and of
course he's, it was also during the meal. The mother comes out and the
mother also , you know to be honest I think in this case she was actually
acting humble. I think she knew that this dish that she made was very delicious and a lot of people had complimented her before.
But when she's serving the dish out there you know in front of the Westerner
there, she said, " Oh but my cooking is really not so good and but you please please try
it. " Now of course the the Western boyfriend who really was a nice guy in
the movie, but he didn't know He actually took her at her word. He really thought
that that's what she meant. And he says, " Oh no, it's not that bad it just needs some ketchup and he poured ketchup all over it. All the other guests where like ( making shocked noises) because they knew that that's not
what he was supposed to do. He was almost kind of insulting her , he was supposed to
taste it and again say what are you talking about ? This is the best dish like this I've ever had. This is so good,
and then of course she would gain face. So so this is what I'm saying you know
sometimes when people are humble I don't know maybe some people are actually
truly humble. They really have that opinion. Sometimes people just act humble So and
again when you are humble usually you will say things to lower your status. And
modest, they don't tend, they they don't brag but they don't tend to talk about
themselves. They usually feel kind of uncomfortable talking about their
accomplishments or bragging about themselves. Okay anyway, I hope you got it. I
hope it's clear. Thank you for your time. Bye-bye.