( APPLAUSE )
YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS. THAT, FRIENDS, IS BONO WHOSE NEW
MEMOIR "SURRENDER" IS AVAILABLE NOW.
BONO, YOU KNOW, WOVE HAD YOU ON THE SHOW.
WE'VE HAD AN INCREDIBLE TIME TALKING TO YOU RIGHT HERE, BUT
THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT INTERVIEWING SOMEONE FOR THE
TELEVISION CAMERAS, WITH THE STANDARD TALK ABOUT THEIR LIFE,
TALK ABOUT THE PROJECT, HOWEVER BEAUTIFUL THE CONVERSATION MAY
HAVE BEEN-- AND I REALLY BELIEVE IT WAS.
THAT DOESN'T QUITE PENETRATE TO THE HEART OF SOMEONE AND REALLY
PLUMB THE DEPTHS OF THEIR SHOW. BUT THE SCIENTISTS WILL IN THE
"LATE SHOW" LAB CAME UP WITH A SERIES OF QUESTIONS DESIGNED TO
BE A TRUTH-SEEKING MISSLE. >> OKAY.
>> Stephen: TO BE KNOWN-- NOT AS THROUGH, BUT CLEARLY WHO YOU
ARE. AND IT'S CALLED "THE COLBERT
QUESTIONERT." AND I WAS WONDERING, I WAS
WONDERING IF YOU MIGHT BE WILLING TO-- IF YOU HAD THE
COURAGE, REALLY, TO BE REVEALED BEFORE THE WORLD.
>> I DO NOW.
>> CHEERS. SILANGE.
>> Stephen: EXACTLY, I WAS ABOUT TO SAY THAT.
♪ ♪ ♪ HERE WE GO.
READY? COLBERT QUESTIONERT, FIRST
QUESTION, BONO. BONO, WHAT IS THE BEST SANDWICH?
>> A CHIP BUDDY. IT'S SORT OF CHIPS, AS IN LIKE
FRENCH FRIES, LIKE FRENCH FRIES WITH BUTTER ON REALLY PLAIN
BREAD. LOVE THEM.
CHIP BUDDIES. >> Stephen: THAT IS THE MOST
IRISH SANDWICH I CAN IMAGINE. IT'S POTATOES ON BREAD.
>> I KNOW. >> Stephen: WITH BUTTER.
THAT DOES SOUND FANTASTIC. THAT DOES SOUND FANTASTIC.
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT COULD USE? A LITTLE MORE STARCH.
>> I'LL TAKE THAT AS A CULTURAL SWIPE.
>> Stephen: THERE YOU GO. GO AHEAD.
GO AHEAD, TAKE IT. >> DRINKING NOW.
THINGS COULD GET INTERESTING.
YOU OWN THAT YOU SHOULD REALLY THROW OUT?
>> HMMM... HMMM... I THINK I CAN OVERDO THE
POLITENESS. >> Stephen: YOU SHOULD THROW
AWAY THE POLITENESS. >> I'M STARTING TO GET THE IDEA.
( LAUGHTER ) ( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: WHAT, BONO, IS THE SCARIEST ANIMAL?
>> THE SPOTTED PAPARAZZI.
>> Stephen: APPLES OR ORANGES? >> LEMONS?
( LAUGHTER )
HAVE YOU EVER ASKED SOMEONE FOR THEIR AUTOGRAPH?
>> OH, MOHAMMED ALI. >> Stephen: DID YOU GET IT?
>> AND-- I HAVE NEVER TOLD THIS TO ANYONE.
I ASKED HIM FOR HIS AUTOGRAPH, AND HE DREW A SORT OF PICTURE.
HE DREW A DRAWING. AND I, WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME FOR
AUTO GRAPHS, I DO DRAWINGS ALL THE TIME.
PEOPLE NOW TURN THEM INTO TATTOOS AND STUFF.
BUT THAT ALL CAME FROM MOHAMMED ALI, WHEN I ASKED HIM FOR HIS
AUTOGRAPH.
HAPPENS WHEN WE DO? >> I...
WE'RE BORN. I BELIEVE THAT'S ACTUAL-- I
ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT'S WHEN WE'RE KIND OF BORN.
THAT'S WHEN WE BEGIN. I'M-- I'M-- YEAH.
CAN I STICK WITH THAT? >> Stephen: YEAH, SURE, OF
COURSE YOU CAN. >> THESE ARE LABOR PAINS,
STEPHEN. >> Stephen: YOU'LL BE GOOD
WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED. >> WE'LL HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THAT
LATER, TOO.
MOVIE. >> ANYTHING WITH LIAM NEESON.
IN IT.
TO SAY "LOVE, ACTUALLY." >> OF COURSE YOU WOULD.
RICHARD CURTIS IS A GENIUS. >> Stephen: INCREDIBLE.
WINDOW OR AISLE? >> OOO... WELL, IT DEPENDS.
OF COURSE THE WINDOW. BUT, YEAH, THE WINDOW, BUT IF
THERE'S A BODY ODOR SITUATION, THE AISLE.
>> Stephen: FAVORITE SMELL, SPEAKING OF WHICH?
FAVORITE SMEL SMELL? >> YOU KNOW-- CAN I SAY THIS, MY
MOTHER IRONING. >> Stephen: SURE.
SURE. >> MMM.
>> Stephen: LEAST-FAVORITE SMELL.
>> MINT. NO, I CAN HAVE MINT, BUT NOT,
LIKE, CHEMICAL MINT. YOU KNOW --
>> Stephen: MINTY FRESH DOESN'T DO IT FOR YOU, LIKE
TOOTHPASTE MINT. >> OH, DON'T LIKE THAT.
( LAUGHTER )
DO YOU WISH TO BE KNOWN? >> I DO WISH TO BE KNOWN.
>> Stephen: THEN YOU SHOULD BE TRUTHFUL.
>> BY MY FATHER IN HEAVEN. I'M NOT SURE ABOUT YOU.
( APPLAUSE )
BROTHER IN CHRIST? >> OOOO.
WHO IS MY BROTHER. >> Stephen: EVERYONE IS YOUR
BROTHER. AND NOT ONLY THAT, BUT EVERYONE
IS CHRIST. >> LOVE THY NEIGHBOR IS NOT
ADVICE. IT'S A COMMAND, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: SO IS "DO NOT WORRY."
♪ ABOUT A THING BECAUSE EVERY LITTLE THING GONNA
BE ALL RIGHT ♪ DON'T WORRY ABOUT A THING
♪ BECAUSE EVERY LITTLE THING GONNA BE ALL RIGHT ♪
>> Stephen: I THINK BETWEEN THE TWO OF US YOU'RE THE ONLY
WAY WHO COULD GET AWAY WITH SINGING REGGAE.
>> BECAUSE? YOU KNOW THAT BOB MARLEE SANG IN
AN IRISH ACCENT, DON'T YOU? .>> Stephen: I DIDN'T KNOW
THAT. >> CORK AND KERRY.
LOTS OF PEOPLE IN CORK AND KERRY WENT TO THE CARIBBEAN.
THEY WERE FORCED, INDENTURED. IT'S NOT THE SAME AS SLAVERY,
BUT IT WAS STILL PRETTY ROUGH. THEY WERE TAKEN THERE, CROMWELL,
AND ENDED UP-- AND THERE ARE STILL COMMUNITIES IN BARBADOS
CALLED-- I THINK THEY'RE CALLED RED SKINS BECAUSE THEY HAD THE
COMPLEX. ION.
AND BOB MARLEE, HE LIVES IN IRISH TOWN, DON'T HE?
I REST MY CASE. >> Stephen: CHECK OUT THE
SITUATION. >> GOOD VIBRATIONS, ALL ACROSS
THE NATION. THAT'S A CORKER KERRY ACCENT
RIGHT THERE. >> Stephen: WHAT'S THE
MOST-USED APP ON YOUR PHONE? >> VOICE NOTES.
THAT'S WHERE I WRITE MUSIC OR I'M IN THE BATHROOM OR WHATEVER
CAN CAN'T GET TO A GUITAR. I SING.
>> Stephen: YOU DON'T KEEP A GUITAR IN YOUR BATHROOM?
( LAUGHTER )
>> THE TILES ARE GREAT FOR THE VOICE.
BUT-- SO I SING IN THE BATH. BUT I DO NOT PLAY GUITAR IN
THERE,s IN THAT ROOM. >> Stephen: OKAY.
DO YOU PLAY THE ORGAN?
>> DRINK UP. DRINK UP.
THIS IS REALLY WORKING FOR YOU. >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A
LITTLE BREAK HERE, BUT WE BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE BONO,