So we are up early in the morning and are set to start writing!
On our desk rests one's preferred source of caffeine.
Inspiring music plays in the background to get our creativity flowing.
The thermostat is set just right and we are nice and toasty warm.
All is well.
There is nothing left to do except sit down, open the word processor of choice, and stare
blankly at the screen in utter frustration!
As it turns out, the greatest foe of most writers is not cliches, purple prose, Mary
Sues, rejection letters, obscurity, poor reviews, or even the dreaded love triangle!
It's writer's block.
But that's okay!
There is a host of different things we can do to get our creativity back on track!
But first, let's try to sidestep the biggest pitfall one can make while trying to overcome
writer's block.
And that's sitting down and forcing yourself to write!
That never works.
Writing is all about being inspired and letting your genius just flow onto the page with grace
and elegance.
Writing is not about repeatability scrapping huge swaths of your story, over and over again,
gradually improving the quality of writing through grueling trail and error.
Writing is super easy and not difficult at all.
And if you are struggling then it simply means you need inspiration.
And what better way to get inspired than to watch a movie!
The current crop of Hollywood movies are well known for their sophisticated and clever writing
and not relying on special effects as a crutch to distract the audience.
What a great source of inspiration!
But why stop there?
Let's double the inspiration by finishing that television series queued up on a streaming
service.
Passively binge watching TV will really improve and engage our creative thought processes
and not lure us into a zombie like stupor.
After finishing that series we will finally be ready to write... on a fan forum about
how the season finale totally sucked and I can't believe the writers screwed up that
bad!
See!
That finally got our blood flowing even it if is only to express fan rage.
But that's okay, because we are finally ready to sit down and write...
After playing that new video game that just came out!
It's okay to take time out to play a video game.
That TV show and movie we just saw gave us plenty of inspiration and we will definitely
start writing once we beat the one frustrating level I can't seem to get past!
Hmm.
I'm getting kind of hungry.
Let's take a break from playing this video game... um I mean writing and get a snack.
Mmm...
That was a good snack, but I guess I need to wash the dishes now.
Come to think of it, I could stand to vacuum the floors and pick up some of the clutter.
These menial chores are very effective at easing a writer's guilt at not writing.
But after those chores it's time to get back to work and focus.
Rather than spending time playing video games, let's instead sit down and concentrate on
watching someone else play video games!
Watching a let's play on YouTube can't hurt and It's only for a moment.
Oh hey!
There is another funny internet video!
Better share that on social media!
Don't worry.
This will only take a few seconds.
After all, sharing these cute cat pictures is a valuable use of time and I am sure it
will help with writing... somehow?
Oh look!
Someone posted an interesting article!
Let's click on that!
Informative internet articles can be read guilt free since we can just count it as 'research'.
Don't forget to read the comments.
Wait a moment!
What's that?
Why that user left a comment expressing an incorrect opinion.
Writing our story can wait.
Instead, we must correct this random stranger on the internet.
Alright, alright.
It's time to get serious now.
It's getting late and the night brings with it the muse.
This is our last chance to do something productive... like checking our email!
Nope.
Just spam.
Well that puts me in a bad mood.
This lack of progress can build up frustration.
Pushing aside this frustration and just writing isn't an option!
There is only one thing to do!
Wallow in self loathing.
Hating yourself and throwing a pity party is a great use of time.
Once we have our fill of brooding we will still be stuck.
It is obvious that our inhibitions and self doubt are preventing us from moving forward.
That's why we need something to get rid of those.
We need alcohol!
That's right!
Having a few drinks will loosen us up help kick-start the writing process.
And if a few drinks get the words flowing, then a lot of drinks will really get things
moving!
After recovering from a drunken daze, one might find that everything they wrote while
inebriated was completely incomprehensible.
*Sigh* Oh Well.
It's getting late.
Let's just go to bed and get a good night's rest.
Maybe tomorrow we can wake up early with a fresh perspective.
There is always another day and hope for the future.
Or the whole stupid process will just repeat itself.