PATRICK O'DELL: Oh, what's this photo?
JAMES KELCH: Oh, damn.
That's 1987.
Backside smith stall.
Could be '88, it's probably '88.
But anyway, it's a backside smith stall in the big block
at Embarcadero.
PATRICK O'DELL: With sweatpants?
JAMES KELCH: Yeah, sweatpants and a generic indie shirt my
mom got at the flea market, And that one is 1986 with the
SMA shirt, olleying a bum that's sleeping on the way.
PATRICK O'DELL: Hi, what's up?
Welcome back to the Epicly Later'd show.
This episode is about James Kelch.
When I first moved to San Francisco and I wanted to be a
skate photographer, he was probably the first pro that I
got to shoot pictures with.
James Kelch in the early '90s was known as the Mayor of EMB.
People always have stories about people being jerks down
at EMB, but James being really cool.
But he did definitely run some scams.
We asked James some questions, and then I'll run it by Maza
or Mike Carroll and they'll say that what he's
saying's not true.
But then there were some things he told me that I
didn't think were true, and then they were true.
I don't know, I think he's just a really good storyteller
and he likes to embellish a little bit maybe.
People talk about James like he's a super amazing skater.
So in the course of making this episode, Maza sent us
lost Kelch tapes that I think are really awesome and really
show why he was pro.
And here it is, James Kelch episode.
How long did you live in Ohio for?
JAMES KELCH: Before I went to San Francisco?
Hardly at all.
I was born here and we were in a military family, we moved
around a lot.
So hardly at all, ever.
Just come to visit and stuff like that.
I moved to San Francisco from Shreveport, Louisiana.
PATRICK O'DELL: You went to high school in San Francisco?
JAMES KELCH: Yeah, I went to middle school and high school.
Trail Hill Middle School, Galileo High School.
PATRICK O'DELL: Galileo, the one in--
JAMES KELCH: OJ went to school.
It's on Van Ness down by the wharf.
It's a pretty gnarly, rugged school, man.
Sure changed the way I look at stuff.
PATRICK O'DELL: Then how'd you start skating?
JAMES KELCH: I lived on [INAUDIBLE]
Island and I was just cruising around on my bike one day and
I seen this kid skating down in one of the little squares.
I don't know what they're called, cul-de-sacs or
something like that?
Just some kid back there skating.
He did a little bonus off a bumper of a car, all these
people were around all fired up.
And I was like wow, that's dope.
PATRICK O'DELL: Do when'd you first go to EMB?
JAMES KELCH: I went to EMB the first time around in the
middle of '85 or so.
I took the bus into the city, got off just to skate around,
first time skating in the city.
And I asked some random kid with a skateboard, where do
people skate?
And he's like, well, there's this plaza down the street.
I see skaters there every once in a while.
I just skated down there and never left.
PATRICK O'DELL: So it wasn't a spot that people skated
regularly then?
JAMES KELCH: Not at all.
I'd go there all the time, there'd be no one
ever, all day long.
Me and someone I might have come with.
And then randomly though, you'd see maybe Tommy or
someone would skate through, do a few tricks and leave.
But mostly you would see Ken McGuire doing hand plants.
I used to get heckled for sitting down
there all the time.
I used to tell them I wasn't a real skater.
Until I'd blow their spots and show them that if you learn to
skate one place, you can skate anywhere, you dummies.
SAM SMYTH: Back then if I'm 11-years-old, this is '87.
If you skated in '87 and you bumped into a kid in San
Francisco, told him you skated, he'd ask you how high
could you ollie.
If you could ollie the highest, then you was the best
skater out there.
And Kelch, for sure, could ollie the highest in
Embarcadero.
AARON MEZA: At the time I'd been going to Embarcadero for
a long time just randomly.
Because I lived just outside SF.
And he's somebody I seen there throughout the years.
One day I was just filming my friend and he was like hey, do
you want to film some stuff?
And we filmed a couple lines of lines
and a couple of tricks.
So I would just go film with him and that dude Jake Vogel.
He was trying to get on one-on-one with Jake.
We'd come this one line, like he seriously skated the whole
place, it was super sick.
He had been sponsored, but I think Dogtown might have went
out of business.
Maybe a week later, it was funny, he was like there's
this company, all these dudes are going to quit H-Street,
Mike Churnowski's leaving.
It's going to be called--
I don't know if he knew the name.
I guess he knew the name.
It was going to be called Plan B.
He named off all the dudes, he was like it's going to be
Carroll, Hensley, Sheffy, Rick Howard, Danny Way.
He's like they maybe want me to be the
AN like Jason Carney.
I remember that was another AN.
He might have said Eric Coston, too, but he definitely
said Jason Carney.
Was going to be the AN with him.
So that's what we were filming for, his Plan B sponsor video.
But then I think later I got to know Mike and he was more
like yeah, I think it was just me being like yeah, you should
try to get on.
And at that time, I was like James was so good, it made
sense to me.
I was like that's sick, dude, that'd be so rad.
PATRICK O'DELL: Did the footage you filmed with James,
the early footage, end up anywhere?
AARON MEZA: No, none of it.
-You know, he was a little bit older, he could fight, he can
hook up with chicks.
So he was like a cool dude to all those dudes, so they all
looked up to him.
As many people like maybe he was mean to, which I don't
think was that many, he probably would be the one dude
who would say hi to a random guy out of town, you know?
SAM SMYTH: People came to him because they knew he was going
to be the bodyguard, the big brother, just the whole
Embarcadero regulator.
I can remember something going down.
My buddy was trying to sell some weed, got
punched in the face.
And I ran to get James like I was getting the fucking
cavalry, you know?
PATRICK O'DELL: Tell me about stealing boards.
I've heard rumors of that.
JAMES KELCH: If you came through and it was one of them
hectic winters and no one had a new board.
And you had all brand new shit, and you just got out of
your mom's Lexus or whatnot.
Yeah, you're probably going to get your board stolen.
It's the same as if you wear a big ass huge gold chain and go
hang out in Oakland real quick.
I mean nothing's different.
Everyone thinks oh, just because they were skaters.
We were still just city kids.
But it wasn't an everyday crazy out of hand, you go
there, you get your board stolen.
It gets exaggerated way out of hand.
SAM SMYTH: I mean, he's always been that personality, man.
Cool as the Fonz, young Burt Reynolds face.
He always had that charisma, ever since he was young.
I guess when you got it, you got it.
-This is James' car.
Here goes the front panel.
Let me see what I can do with this wheel here.
Hey, let's see if we can start it!
Look out, everybody, it might blow up!
-What's the scene with this car?
Why's it all fucked up, dude?
-Because fucking dumb ass Billy took it and ruined it,
and him and Jeff and Dune.
JAMES KELCH: Come on, P. Out of the way,
Gotto, we got company.
[INAUDIBLE]
blah, blah, blah, I swear I seen it just lying right here.
Yeah, film the whole shit.
This is the real life, no Ferraris, no
motorcycles, no nothing.
PATRICK O'DELL: So when this video came out, what year was
this video made?
JAMES KELCH: The video came out in '93.
PATRICK O'DELL: When the real video was made you were
already pro?
JAMES KELCH: Yeah.
PATRICK O'DELL: How did you first get on Real?
JAMES KELCH: I had knew Jim Thebo and he was giving me
wheels every once in awhile.
And then one day I seen him and Givanti and a bunch of
heads skating brown model benches.
I just started skating the benches like a maniac, man,
just trying to show off.
And then Thebo called me that night and was like look, I
can't do pressure flips.
And it was a joke, of course.
And I was like, yeah, me neither, really.
And he was like well, we need a new pro.
You want to skate for us?
And I was like, yes, of course.
PATRICK O'DELL: So he just saw you skate one time?
JAMES KELCH: Oh, no.
He had seen me skate a million times, but I hadn't seen him
in a while.
I was AN for other companies before I got on Real.
Like Dogtown, H-Street, 101 for a little bit, rode for
Plan B for a little while.
I watched this video the other day.
It's pretty gnarly that we even put a
video out like that.
Yeah, that's that girl, Molly.
Every time I [INAUDIBLE], she always something to say.
That bitch, blah, blah, blah.
PATRICK O'DELL: They're doing the wave?
JAMES KELCH: Yeah, they were doing the wave.
I'm a gymnast.
Ollie [INAUDIBLE] flip, the only time I ever did it
outside of a skate park, I had no wheels.
I was just rolling on bearings right there.
I was actually really proud of that [INAUDIBLE].
It always used to feel real good.
I was actually pleased I even worked a part out.
I wasn't even barely skating when we filmed all this shit.
When they came to me and were like oh, the video's done, I
was like but hold on, I didn't even film.
PATRICK O'DELL: You weren't skating a
lot because of drugs?
JAMES KELCH: Actually, no.
It was mostly injuries at first.
And then the drugs came with me just sitting around doing
nothing because of my ankles.
Because I had childhood arthritis growing up,
rheumatoid arthritis.
And so I got all these crushed-up, clicking bones and
all this bullshit, and I just would go around it.
And then it started getting worse and worse until
eventually I was just, I'm not even going to
try to skate anymore.
But then I was still pro, and doing drugs, trying to skate
here and there.
Dude, I would be just standing there all drugged out and Jim
would just be like do something.
I'd be like just tell me what to do, man.
They he would just bring up a random trick he
saw me do one time.
I'd be like all right.
PATRICK O'DELL: Who filmed it, Maza?
JAMES KELCH: Most of the real video was filmed by, I would
go with Thebo.
Because he knew if it wasn't him, that I
wouldn't even come out.
Like, all those other dudes would show up to get me and I
wouldn't even go outside.
I'd be like, well, fuck off.
But then Jim would come and I'd have to get up.
I'd be like all right, Jim, let's go.
He'd put me the shower and said come on.
It's very, very weird when I watch it.
A lot of those tricks, toes are
dragging, no one's rolling.
You might as well just stop and pick your
board up and walk away.
Except for Solomon's part.
All I know is I was chilling on Oak Street one day at the
party palace.
And there's a knock at the door like 7:00 in the morning.
I open it, it's like Gonzo.
He's like dude, I just saw your part, I love it.
It's one of my favorites.
You want to go skate?
I was like oh, I didn't go to sleep all night and I kind of
just shut the door in his face.
PATRICK O'DELL: On Gonz?
JAMES KELCH: Yeah, I just went back in the house.
I was too embarrassed to hang out with him.
I was up all night doing drugs.
I didn't want to hangout with Gonzo, he's like my idol.
As you could tell, the house is a tad bit cluttered so it
took me a while to find it.
My girl put this shit together.
I don't know if that plastic's going to be
reflecting on you or not.
This one, this is how skateboarding actually works.
Whether they, not now maybe, but I know these guys always
cared about me and everything, but listen to this story.
It's a light brown coat, and you see all the
dark spots on it?
That's all blood, and spray matter, and people bleeding
and shit like that.
Well, I got into a big bar fight with these bikers and I
just beat their faces in.
They beat me up, too, as you can tell.
So the next day I go down to the Deluxe to get maybe
cleaned up, some money, see if my eye's all right, it's all
swollen, and get some clothes or whatnot.
But instead as soon as I walked in, no one cared about
any of that.
They were like dude, just go take pictures.
I couldn't walk, nothing, I couldn't get no new clothes.
They were like, you got to get photos of this shit.
They just drug me out to these abandoned projects behind Real
and took this photo.
PATRICK O'DELL: How much longer did you write for Real
after this?
JAMES KELCH: After the video came out?
So if the video came out '93, '94 I moved to [INAUDIBLE] and
lived with Kelly Bird and Diedrich.
And then we were going to go on tour, so I came to Ohio to
hang out for a little bit.
Went on the tour, left early, they wrecked the van.
So I'm figuring right before '95 started they called me and
asked me if I was skating and all that shit.
And I didn't like the tone of whoever's voice
I was talking to.
So I told them no, I don't skate no more, I quit.
PATRICK O'DELL: You were talking to Tommy?
JAMES KELCH: It was Tommy, yeah.
He wasn't being a dick or nothing, but I could tell he
wasn't happy with me.
PATRICK O'DELL: Here's a photo I took, it was really bad.
Sorry.
JAMES KELCH: It is the photo you took.
I remember that day.
Those are some tight pants on my butt, man.
Gross.
You should have told me.
PATRICK O'DELL: No, I'm not retiring?
JAMES KELCH: Yeah, this is an ad I got like a month after I
told Real I was retiring.
PATRICK O'DELL: Who is God?
JAMES KELCH: Yeah, I got in "Big Brother" one time.
It was the "Who is God" thing.
They asked me a question, what do I think about God, and took
a picture of me doing a smith grind.
PATRICK O'DELL: What's you say?
JAMES KELCH: I said, here, want me to read it?
I don't even remember.
"I believe in religion because I believe there's a greater
force than ours.
I think when people die their souls leave to some spiritual
place, whether that's good or bad.
I'm not religious, because the way people go about their
religions is weird.
I don't tend to judge others' religions,
because I don't care.
The world's really a better place
when people are religious.
It keeps a lot of people nice.
It changes psychos into somewhat normal peoples.
I think most of the Earth is evil, because this is Satan's
land to do with as he pleases.
Most good things must be somewhere else.
The only way religion has affected my life is when it's
helped change some of my friends into better people."
And that's that.
I'm going to give a Solomon secret out real quick.
You know for like a year and a half, almost two years, he
used to skate the other way?
And then he pushed mongo.
PATRICK O'DELL: What do you mean?
JAMES KELCH: He skated goofy-footed
and he pushed mongo.
And people told him like yo, you're whack.
Unless I'm just making it all up.
You never know, my brain's confused.
But I remember all the stories.
Yeah, dude skated goofy-footed and pushed mongo, and they
told him yo, you're a bum.