Gavin: Guys, what are we doing?
Griffon: Home hair cuts!
Geoff: *Long suffering sigh*
Geoff: I like my beard. I do, I'm sorry, I like it!
Geoff: I just- I like it a lot. I know it's attractive, I know that you're into it,
Geoff: and you're more attracted to me because of it.
Geoff: Are you afraid that you won't love me as much when we shave it?
Griffon: I'm- I'm gonna be able to tell you apart from any other guy in Austin, now. I'm excited!
Geoff: *Is upset* Ughghgh! Alright, hold on.
Geoff: *chugs alcohol* Griffon: Here, let me have it.
Geoff: Alright.
Geoff: You, my friend... my gimpy little... mingy little friend,
Geoff: You have too MUCH hair.
Geoff: So what if... we shave your head.
Geoff: A-And we see if you have a weird shaped skull.
Gavin: Probably do. Geoff: Probably do...
Gavin: I fell on it when I was a kid. Geoff: *Laughs*
Geoff: You went blind for 3 days! Gavin: I did.
Griffon: You went blind for 3 days? Geoff: He went blind for 3 days.
Gavin: I bet the back of my head looks like a stuntman's knee.
Geoff and Griffon: *Laugh*
Geoff: So... we'll shave my hair...and your hair... Gavin: Yeah.
Geoff: But then we have two piles of GIANT hair.
Gavin: Yeah.
Geoff: So what do we do with that?
Gavin: Well... Geoff: TRANSPOSE!
Gavin: We swap, right?
Geoff: We swap.
Gavin: So you're gonna wear my hair as a beard, Geoff: Right. Yes.
Gavin: Which completely obliterates the whole reason for doing this.
Geoff: Well, it's temporary.
Geoff: How do you... enter the mix?
Griffon: I'm holding the camera, and cutting all the hair off.
Geoff: You know what you don't have? Arm hair.
Geoff: I have arm hair. Gavin has arm hair.
Geoff: So, we're- To make-- T-To like, bring it around, so that we're all involved,
Geoff: You're gonna have a left arm of Geoff's pubic hair as your arm hair,
Griffon: Why is it left? Geoff: Because I'm left handed.
Geoff: And a right arm of Gavin's pubic hair, but it's gonna be a little bit, 'cause he's not a man yet.
Geoff: We'll just have a baby- a little tuft of...baby... pubes, right there.
Geoff: So then, we all get in the mix.
Griffon: Can I ask you a question? Geoff: Yeah.
Griffon: Do you have gray pubes? Geoff: No. *claps*
Griffon: You sure? Geoff: Soon!
Griffon: We'll find out! Geoff: I'm gonna get there.
Gavin: So when all our hair has been swapped around, what are we gonna do?
Geoff: Uh... play Peggle? I don't know. Griffon: Let's... I wanna go somewhere nice.
Gavin: We should go out, right? We should go- We should hit the town. Geoff: Alright, we'll go out. We'll do... We'll hit the town.
*Shaver buzzing* Geoff: This beard is like my best friend.
Griffon: Look at that.
Geoff: This beard is what I wanted Gavin to be.
Griffon: *Laughs* Gavin: That is uh... it's actually really impressive.
*Shaver buzzing*
Geoff: We are past the point of no return, aren't we?
Griffon: Unless you wanna have a big bald spot... on your chin.
Griffon: Does that hurt?
Geoff: I'm actually really sad.
Griffon: Stop talking.
Griffon: Alright, so there's an area of his face. Gavin: Oh yeah! That's what you look like!
Griffon: *Laughs* Okay... Gavin: I had forgotten!
Griffon: You're a lot younger than *Unintelligible*. Geoff: *Spits* There's so much "Geoff" in my mouth right now.
Griffon: Ha! This is amazing! We should leave it-
Griffon: Just cut it along the jaw line, and then leave, like, a neckbeard.
Gavin: Face the camera? Griffon: *Laughs*
Gavin: That looks incredible.
Geoff: Kiss me. Gavin: You look like Sacha Baron Cohen.
Geoff: Really? Gavin: Yeah!
Geoff: He's married to Isla Fisher, so I'll take it.
Geoff: *Backtracking* I'm married to you, which is way better!
Griffon: Alright, see? Now we got this lovely- I love how it's nice and out of the way! *Laughs* Gavin: *Giggles*
Geoff: Is it good- Is that a good look? Griffon, Millie, Gavin: *Laughing*
Geoff: I have a fear that these glasses don't work without a beard.
Geoff: And that they'll instantly lose- Gavin: That was- I was actually gonna say they're getting- they're getting worse.
Geoff: Yeah, they'll instantly be rendered useless, once the beard is gone.
Gavin: That... is... disgusting.
Geoff: That's about to be your head.
Geoff: I have a face again!
Griffon: I am excited about it, come here.
Gavin: Gross.
Geoff: WE are gonna have SEX!
Griffon: And I have no excuse. Geoff: Nope!
Gavin: You actually just did de-age about... six years?
Geoff: *Muffled* Yeah.
Griffon: Why would you choose to do that to yourself for so long?
Geoff: I don't know. 'Cause for this joke?
Griffon: Ready?
Gavin: Goodbye, hair!
Gavin: *Laughs*
Gavin: What am I doing? What am I doing?
Geoff: *Laughing*
Geoff: You look good!
Geoff: That is NOT short enough.
Griffon: It's not short enough, Gavin. It's gonna look way better if it's short.
Geoff: *Cackles*
Griffon: Yeah, this is starting to look more tough guy-ish.
Gavin: Am I getting hotter?
Geoff: *Laughing* You're about to become a chav!
*All Laughing*
Geoff: Ohhhhh....
Griffon: It's cute!
Geoff: It's like 1985, on your head!
Gavin: *Laughs*
Gavin: So stage one... complete.
Gavin: You look way-
Geoff: I look what?
Gavin: You look great.
Gavin: This is what we got after shaving.
Gavin: So, what is your technique gonna be,
Gavin: are you just gonna, like, just slap it all on?
Gavin: Or is it gonna be, like, positioned properly, and all that?
Griffon: Uh... I don't know.
Gavin: Yeah. Griffon: Depends on how hard it is.
Griffon: Ideally, I'm gonna have a lot of skill? So I'm gonna plan for that. But we'll see.
Griffon: Ready?
Griffon and Geoff: Eah! Geoff: It feels terrible!
Millie: *Laughs*
Geoff: Ugh...
Griffon: Alright.
Gavin: *Sputters* Oh god, it looks like... syrup.
Gavin: What is uh... what is that brush for?
Griffon: This is for like, dying hair.
Gavin: Oh, it's like an actual hair brush.
Griffon: I am so prepared for this, guys.
Griffon: You good?
Geoff: *Reluctantly* Yeah...
Gavin: *Giggles*
Gavin: Bloody mutton chops!
Gavin: *Still laughing*
Griffon: Just like, the little tufts, are already half your face.
Griffon: Need to really put 'em in there... Geoff: THIS IS SO GROSS!
Geoff: IT FEELS GROSS, DUDE- AWH! Ugh...
Gavin: You look like Wolverine!
*All Laughing*
Geoff: I'm the best at what I do.
Geoff: And what I do isn't pretty.
Geoff: AH! It's in my mouth!
Geoff: *Spitting*
Griffon: Then close your mouth.
Griffon: For once.