This is an "Oh, my God" question.
People write into us at The
Marriage Foundation with their questions
and we try to give really good
information
back and some of these are really good
to make videos.
And this one is, "I want a divorce but I'm
scared," by the way, my name is Paul
Friedman.
I founded The Marriage Foundation and I
founded it because this
information has to get out there.
I used to be a divorce
mediator and one of my colleagues at
Second
Saturday said, "Paul, you got to let
the world know about this." He gave me a
check for a thousand dollars he said,
"Start a non-profit foundation,"
and that was 2008 or something.
So we've been doing this for a long time,
I've been doing this for decades.
Don't get a divorce.
The only reason you're thinking about a
divorce is because you're frustrated and
you don't know what else
to do, that's it. You don't know what to
do but there are things that you can do
but you're not going to learn those
things in magazine articles.
You're not going to learn about those
things on YouTube videos
because marriage is complex. It is, it's
complicated.
Driving a car is complicated too
but you learn how, and then you can do it.
Divorce is
rarely, really rarely
the thing to do. I mean if you discover
you
are married to a pedophile, you need to
get a divorce
or like the head of the mafia, you need
to get a divorce
if you can get out of it but you don't
want to
get a divorce just because you don't
know what to do. Thing now to do
is to learn. I have a lot of experience
with this. I used to speak at Second
Saturday which is a
support group for women who are getting
a divorce
and then later on, and I spoke at those
two a support group for men who were
getting a divorce
so they could learn about divorce. And I
was in there because
I was teaching them that they don't have
to get a divorce. They just didn't know
how to drive their marriage
and it's not so hard because we have
free will. Human beings are
amazing. So what would happen in
your childhood that is causing all of
these problems?
Who cares? You what trumps
everything in the past? The free will to
decide what you're going to do right now,
right here and now
for the future, trumps it all. You
have control over your destiny. You
are the one who's writing your story
today.
It's true and you know it. This is not
illogical. This is not pie in the sky,
it's not spiritual. This is reality but
you have to learn how to use your free
will.
Most people only use their free will to
choose this dress or that dress, this
suit or that's,
this pair of pants or this car or
chocolate or vanilla.
They don't use their free will to
control their own mind
which is a necessity. You have to have
mastery over your mind so that
you can use it to have the
two things that fulfill you
in life, happiness and unconditional
love. And there's no better place to have
those
than in your marriage and if you get a
divorce,
you should be scared because if you get
a divorce,
it ain't looking good for you. The
statistics or I'll say, "Uh
uh."
The divorce rate for first time
marriages is about
between 50% to 52%.
It's about 65% to 75% for second
time.
Third time, it's even higher. Why? Because
you don't learn anything by getting a
divorce, you
learn by sticking it out and using
good knowledge, good solid
information. So subscribe to this channel
so you can learn and apply
but then go to our website and really
learn. And forget about this divorce and
write into our counselors,
don't be discouraged, don't give up. You
don't have to do that.
You're for sure at the point where you
need the
course for men or the course for women.
You're for sure at that point.
Let us help you with this. And thank you
for spending time,
leave a like, leave a comment, a nice
comment.
And thank you for being with me! God
bless and take care!