[groaning]
Turn off your brain, Nate.
Turn off your brain.
My thoughts are racing with [unintelligible] and angst.
[groaning]
What's up, kiddo? You can't sleep?
No.
Hey, could you please do the song?
It always helps.
Aren't you a little old for that?
No. Mm.
[whimpering]
Hmm.
♪ If you stay awake too long ♪
♪ And your thoughts are ♪ ♪ Like a gong ♪
♪ Don't worry ♪ ♪ Get your dad to sing ♪
♪ The butt cheek song ♪
Okay. Just until you fall asleep.
-Um-hmm. - Cue the drum track.
- Ready? - Oh, yeah. I'm ready!
♪ Butt cheeks do da do do do dh Butt cheeks ♪
[yawning]
♪ Butt cheeks, yeah Butt cheeks ♪
♪ Butt cheeks Do da do do do dah ♪
Welcome everyone to the world super torium butthole,
the biggest rock and roll venue in the world.
We are proud to present
the most awesome band in the world,
singing their mind melting universe dominating,
nuclear explicating chart hit, Butt Cheeks!
Put your cheeks together for [unintelligible]
♪ Butt cheeks do da do do do dh Butt cheeks ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ Butt cheeks do da do do do dh Butt cheeks ♪
♪ Butt cheeks Yeah ♪
♪ B-u-u-u-t ♪
♪ Every butt cheek On the left ♪
♪ Say, "Dad"! ♪
♪ Dad! ♪
♪ Every butt cheek On the right ♪
♪ Say, "Da-a-a-d"! ♪
♪ Da-a-a-d! ♪
♪ Every butt cheek in the midde Say... ♪
[farting sound]
♪ Butt cheeks You smell whenever ♪
♪ Butt cheeks We'll do it together ♪
♪ Butt cheeks [unintelligible] ♪
♪ Butt cheeks Gonna wait forever ♪
Yeah!
Whoo!
♪ Doesn't matter how they come♪
♪ Black and white Or brown or green ♪
♪ If you wanna reach That sleepy cloud ♪
♪ Just relax that booty ♪
♪ As we sing about... ♪
♪ Butt cheeks Butt cheeks ♪
Yeah! Come on, sing it!
♪ Butt cheeks Butt cheeks ♪
Put your cheeks in the air! Whoo!
♪ Butt cheeks Butt cheeks ♪
Yeah!
♪ Our [unintelligible] We just don't care ♪
♪ When that booty [unintelligible] ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
[farting]
Good night, little rock star.
[kissing]
Butt cheeks.
♪ Yeah! ♪
[sighing]
It's a new school year,
and I'm ready to make it awesome.
Forgot how to stand, Nate? [laughing]
You had one job, Spitsy.
♪ It's Spitsy Hey, Spitsy ♪
♪ What's up? What's up with that dog? ♪
[groaning]
You get fed, you get bathed, you protect.
When butt heads like Randy show up like that,
I need you to have my back.
[sighing]
That's my neighbor's dog, Spitsy.
We're pretty close, but as a guard dog,
he's a total dumpster fire.
Spitsy! Help!
Spitsy, help!
Yar! Spitsy! Help!
[groaning]
Come on, boy. Let's go. Come on.
Give me one ferocious bark,
one big blood curdling yell that'll scare jerks like Randy
away for good!
[sneezing]
We got a problem here.
You know, Nate, I don't think it's a physical problem at all,
but an emotional one.
Okay, got it.
So we just got to wipe his brain clean
with a memory wiping machine. Yeah.
No, man. The psychological markers
are all there. As a puppy,
Spitsy never received proper skin to skin contact.
Tell me, Nate, are you familiar with primordial training?
Come on, boy. Come to mama.
It's not working, Teddy.
Are you sure he thinks I'm his mom?
Oh, no doubt. The lukewarm milk in your dog bosom
will bring out the repressed Spitsy.
He just needs to bond with you.
[groaning]
[screaming]
[unintelligible]
New plan. Spitsy sees a dog bark on screen,
he'll follow suit.
Ah.
Mm.
This has got to work.
I'm telling you right now, that pug is not yours.
[barking]
Is your pooch ready for what she did to my Ponto?
Death pug?!
[evil laughing]
[barking]
No. You [unintelligible] You can't use a whip.
[whipping, growling]
I guess he took a bite out of crime.
You need to grow some [unintelligible]
Hasta la sayonara, Death Pug.
Did... it work?
[groaning]
He's never gonna bark, is he?
Nope. Oh. Wow. How i-is it that late?
Hey, don't worry, Spits.
You might be a low functioning
and uncoordinated, but, hey, we'll always be friends.
Oh, look, it's Nate, my favorite fungus
ridden ingrown toenail and his stupid dog.
[sighing]
Hey, you know what, Randy?!
Why don't you just go eat
from your- your- your jerk dog... bowl.
You challenging me with words, salad punk?
You want to speak in tongues? Let's go.
[babbling]
[groaning]
Nobody cares about your tongues, Randy.
What? You gonna hide behind your overcooked
cardboard box of a dog now?
That weirdo can't even bark.
I'm gonna destroy you, Nate Wright.
[groaning]
We'll always be friends. Friend.
[groaning]
I'm just dropping in.
Give us the formula, dog. We know you can talk.
[grunting]
[screaming]
Sorry I'm late, pal. Traffic was real... ruff.
[barking, laughing]
This one doesn't fit either. [groaning]
Look, a perfect match.
Mind if I cut in?
Who needs two kidneys when you've got a best friend.
Best friend.
[growling]
[barking]
[growling]
[barking]
[beeping, barking]
What's up with your dog, man?
Actually, it's my neighbor's dog.
[beeping, barking]
[screaming]
[barking]
[beeping]
Hmm? Good boy! I knew you could protect me!
I knew you could bark!
♪ It's Spitsy Hey, Spitsy ♪
♪ What's up? What's up with that dog? ♪
[howling]
[music playing]