I
Namaste YouTube Family. It's one of those early morning videos and I
felt compelled and moved to respond to an email that I got today from Natasha in Berlin and she writes hi
Lisa, I am an empath from Berlin
Please explain why I attract narcissists and what I can do to protect myself moving further in my life
I love the lucky maybe cuz it's concise [its] direct this young woman has identified the problem
[she] sees what [she] sees that she's an empath
She's understanding the relationship to being an empath
And how that's impacting her life and who shown up?
and
Now what she wants to do is what she's looking for information as to what she can do to protect herself moving forward love it
So this is a young [woman], who is no longer?
Reacting out of her childhood programming she's observing for childhood programming which is basically
Marsh [tick] on YouTube and in my books nick my programs is I'm I?
Teach self-Awareness. [I] teach the power of self observation
I teach the power I teach people how to become self-reliant and the only way to become self-reliant [is] to is to
invoke the power of self observation if you are not
Observing yourself
you can't change you just can't change so and that is why narcissists of
Sociopaths and psychopaths are people that you need to go no contact with because they are not people who wish to
have the ability to or can I believe become self observing because it's everybody else's fault in the case of a
Psychopath people are like puppets, and they are the puppet master. They're just looking to control your you know pulling your strings
and they actually lack the ability to
understand and have Empathy
For other people so when other people get hurt their brain doesn't light up they you know the average person who?
Has mirror neurons what I call empathy neurons in their brain
you watch somebody get a compound fracture during one of the Olympics one of the [other] olympic games and
Your brain lights up like oh my God you can imagine
in like in rude Shopper gets activated like your chest gets compressed everything starts to close off because you're having a
physiological response to this image on the television screen
which is really indicative of your mirror neurons working properly, so someone who is doesn't have
Beautiful wonderful empathy [mironov] neurons will not have that gut oh that's people reaction
They'll have no reaction. Which is [freakin] scary. I mean
Epithelials and having empathy is what makes us human being in my opinion?
If you don't have the ability to feel other people's feelings
I'm not even sure [that] can be taught you know that is some scary shit, [but] anyway I digress
so we have an empath in Berlin and
What I want to do now is [I] want to explain a little bit about how and why it's possible
[and] again this video is just my opinion right my challenge. Just my opinion. You know my saying of God, so
Take what I say with a grain of salt if it resonates with you that's fine. If it doesn't you can click off?
It's no problem
[and]
So anyway, I believe that many of us are born intuitive many of us incarnated on this planet
Just a little bit more sensitive than other people in
[my] case for [instance]. I always felt that I was more in tuned or more
Empathic to what was happening with my mother and father than my sister or my brother. They just seemed more happy-Go-lucky
I'm also a pisces. I don't know if that has anything to do with it. It could whatever um
so when you're a highly sensitive child
And you're human carnate you know that predisposes you in the future because it is
Just your nature to feel what other people feel you know I can walk through a busy mall
And I'm looking at people, and I'm watching an elderly couple hold hands and I watch the husband take a grocery bag
From his elderly wife's hands, and she touches his shoulder gently, and I've got tears in my eyes like that, so beautiful. You know
You know I can [look] at a [cookie] of thousands of people in front of me
And I'll pick out the mom that is Tendon [Aliy]
Bending down to kiss [her] little girl's forehead because she just tripped over something that you know in the mall you [know] and I?
Mom is somebody out here. I've got tears in my eyes. It's just what happens to me
It's happened to me my whole life if I saw a plant that was broken I felt all that poor plant
You know I see trees are all wrinkled up, and they're like leaves and their branches are starting to fall off
I'm like oh the poor trees getting so old you know it's just is it's practically ridiculous
You [know] I've got to the point now where I [just] don't I don't
Verbalize, but I'm feeling so much anymore because I [think] my family would just think I was nuts
[but] [I] honored I can't help it
I'm in tune on [attuned] with what's happening [in] my environment
And I love that now because I feel connected to everything and it's a beautiful thing
But when I was a child it was overwhelming, I didn't understand it and it confused me
And it got me into a lot of trouble. You know when I started dating as a teenager
You know of course I was codependent. Love addict right how could I not be but as an Empath?
You know [I] attracted my first boyfriend which he was emotionally abusive
You know he smacked me in the mouth once so I pull it's physical abuse he would gaslight me
I didn't understand these concepts in my head I
Would say oh he flirts with girls because he's so insecure you know and he's insecure because his daddy is ain't doing
Here I was understanding. Why he was abusive to me. Which is a
huge sign that you're an empath you're always trying to understand why people are hurting you or why they're doing what they're doing, so
Yes, that is going to predispose you to attracting
Narcissistic people on this ignosi [syst] nPD or people on the narcissistic spectrum or even worse
Sociopaths I've attracted and even a psychopath that really brought me to my knees in my opinion. That was it that was laughter
I was like it's made
[ding-Ding-Ding-Ding-Ding] I
Got to figure out what's going on with me because I am the common denominator these men don't know each other
I'm the common denominator. [what] am I putting out?
And I don't mean sex
What I was out was a specific frequency [I] was putting out [eye]
High Empathy [I] was putting out this idea this vibration that I?
Cared about what you thought about me
And I wanted you to feel one with the world and I wanted to help fix you and I wanted to feel connected to you
I was putting out this energy that I really
needed another person in my [life] to feel whole and
I did not realize that that was that
Frequency that I was putting out made me susceptible to people that want to take [advantage] of me the other issue
Is that when we when were highly sensitive and we don't feel good enough?
And we've been abused by narcissistic parents or codependent parents who just could not see us
They were well intended but they could not see themselves and therefore they really couldn't authentically connect to us
you know and not pointing the finger just explaining and
When this is this is a part of your activation. It is a signal that you're giving off, so I
Like I said so many times before when I got divorced my codependent marriage. [I] thought oh, I'm done
[I] divorced my codependent marriage, and I'm all better now
And then I got my ass kicked because I didn't understand that I
Was Codependent my brain was codependent the way. I saw the [world] was codependent
[I] didn't understand that so I went out in the world and what happened. I attracted it
Just went like this the trajectory the the narcissism that I extracted [my] [life] got worse
[I] didn't get better turning out my ex-husband was probably the least narcissistic of the men that I attracted
Until I finally figured out that I was codependent. I was empathic and I needed some serious boundaries, so
The reason and paths attract narcissists is because they have a tendency
To have a high threshold for pain probably because of childhood experiences. They are
usually very
understanding high level of
You have a high tolerance for forgiving people you have very I
Don't know what you may not have the best
So someone violates a boundary and instead of you enforcing a boundary pushing them back
You understand why they violated the boundary and then you forgive their boundary and then you look forward to the future you [think] okay?
He'll won't do that again, and then you're good
So there's no accountability an empath wants to wipe the slate clean so when you do something
and
You heard an Empath?
An empath really does wipe the slate [clean] and you start all over the empath is really it's like it never happened
which is
makes us prime targets for people who are abusive because then that means that they can play out their abuse over [and]
Over and over with us a woman who doesn't have as much empathy doesn't have as much tolerance
And she'll have much stronger boundaries and she's connected to herself now
Just because just because and I want to make sure that this is clearly understood
You know I am somebody today that has very good boundaries
I love myself, and I'm still highly empathic
But I don't allow
That empathy to be abused by other people anymore so I can have empathy for somebody who is down on their luck
but I
Also, don't run in and fix it anymore like I used to I don't go in and try to you know take care of someone
Else's Journey like I used to coming from a good place, but I'm able now to identify
What's happening in my surroundings?
You know even with my own children
[you] know I took the cape off they have to learn how to how to stand on their own two feet and when a problem
comes up
They've got a you to utilize and invoke the power of their [mind] to problem solve and if mommy keeps fixing things
Those connections to being able to problem-solve in their brain will never get never get fired
And they will never get wired, and I'm not going to be here forever
So I've learned to take the cape off
I've learned to have empathy for what my kids are going through what a neighbor is going through or whatever I can still feel it
But I keep it out here because it's not my problem. You know I have to have boundaries
You know obviously depending on what the issue is with my children
You know I'll be I'll be able to help
I'll be willing to help, but I will is the person I remember I was eight months pregnant
with my third child and I met a woman who was in an abusive relationship with her husband and
There was nothing freakin wrong with her
[I] was eight months pregnant and I was digging into her closets cleaning out her closets with
contractors bags while she stood over behind me with a cup of coffee [and]
That was it I had a moment where I was like what the am I doing here like here. [she] [is]
Complaining about her marriage her house is falling apart
I've got that I got a baby on the way my house is clean my lAundry's done. My bills are paid
Like she's got two kids
two kids less issues than I have and
her house is a mess and
I'm cleaning her house like
What what's going on here?
So I had so much empathy for this woman and all the problems that she had with her husband
At the time I was ignoring my problems with my husband that's another thing that impacts do they don't connect how they feel they're very
Connected to how other people feel which sets us up for narcissistic people
Because if we're always trying to understand how other people are feeling we get caught up
and we truly are in my opinion conduits of love, so
It's awesome to be a conduit of love
It's awesome to be the kind of person [that] wipes the slate clean
As long as you're dealing with another conduit of love and another person who wipes the slate clean?
what happens so often is [Ed] pass attract narcissistic people and
Their their agenda is to abuse us and keep us [stopped] right so they have a body in the bed
so when they come all this food on the table there's
There's a body next to them when they go to the movies
There's a body next to them when they go grocery shopping
So they feel complete because they need someone to manipulate since the body in the bed with them when they go to sleep
You know there's this this body with them now
What happens within an empathic and narcissistic relationship or codependent and narcissistic relationships so many codependents are also impacts?
what happen is the narcissist or the sociopaths psychopaths whatever will injure the impact Codependent and
The empath could it wipes the slate clean right?
It's like okay, and he says I'm sorry or she says I'm sorry you'll never happen again and the emPathic okay good
I finally got to him before
I finally got [to] her everything's good and here is this wonderful person with their heart on their sleeve thinking. We're good now
This is great. We can go on and have a happy relationship now. This is it
You know this is going to bring us closer together all
very beautiful ideas and then you forget to pick up milk after work and
The person the person that you're married to [or] involved with then on the narcissistic scale is
All over you it
makes you feel guilty because you forgot the milk and now you're feeling like you're the worst person in the world because you forgot the
Milk and you're shaking like a leaf like oh my God. I forgot the milk. This [is] terrible
[you] [know] [if] I loved her I loved him I would remember the dry cleaner. I remember we'd pick up the milk
what a terrible person [need] a little bit later you feel emotionally a wreck [and]
This narcissist this psychopath this this sociopath. They don't let it go. They don't let it go, so
Empaths are in relationships of people so often where there are unfair rules
So I really hope that that anybody out there who is an empath slash codependent?
Who is attracting narcissistic Friends lovers, whoever?
[co-workers]
If you're attracting these types of people it's not about not becoming
Empathic anymore cutting down your spidey senses that I call them. It's a beautiful thing [to] be an impact it's about learning
to use higher thought processes
So that you understand you're not helping someone by allowing them [to] abuse you if anything you're reinforcing the cycle
right
So it doesn't serve your higher good to be an empath who serves themselves up as as you know piece of meat to be abused
You're not serving in and when you're not serving the light
You serve the light within you when you honor the light within you when you say
I am worthy you know, I this quality are worthy this is gold up in here and
you know
Only people who are willing to respect what I have to offer?
Can be in my company or only people that?
That will respect and honor the love that I can give that can return that love [are]
People that I'm going [to] spend quality time with and if I'm surrounded by people [who] aren't on that level don't resonate at that [level]
Then I'm going to hold on to myself. I will not share what I think I will not share what I feel
I will keep my spiritual fingers tied in knots, and I will not jump in and try to fix people's lives anymore
You know I'm going to focus on myself. So that's one of the things that you can do to protect yourself [um]
so
The other thing that you can do is you can become aware take inventory?
You know get out get out a notebook and take an inventory you know write
Write the names of the people that [are] involved in your life right now, and then judge them on a scale see
How fair they are you know how often does this person call you to see how you're doing?
How often does has this person offered to help you out how often are you are they inclined to reach out to you?
Do they only reach out to you when they want something?
[you] also have to take accountability for that, and I you know if I am attracting this type of a person
You know what am [I] putting out in terms of my frequency and how can I change my frequency?
You can't change your frequency without changing your mind. You know
You have to understand that you are worthy right? So that's your base emotional [Setpoint]
I talked about that in quantum tools to help you heal your life now
You have to take accountability for your emotional Setpoint and if you are
Before the last person that I attracted them to my life before I went no contact with men at all
was I believe a true psychopath and I had to take accountability for the fact that I was a common denominator and
There were red flags that I did ignore in hindsight, but when I look [back]
And I get really real with myself [there] was [a] moment in time
where I remember
This man he told me that he didn't have a house home
He only used a cell phone, and I was talking to one his cell phone. I heard a house phone ring. I was like, huh?
You know, but I didn't in the moment confront him. I was like okay, but I filed it
[I] never forgot [it] and then I caught him obviously [I] caught another why I was like, okay
It was pretty devastating when it all began to unravel because the lies which is so so intense
The other issue that empaths have is that they're highly
They're highly [believed] they they have a high they believe people you know. They're they are very trusting the high level of trusting
So we're the kinds of we're very we're the kinds of people that our friends make fun of for being so gullible?
You know I remember years ago [um]
When I was a kid, you know
My the guy that I [could] have grown up with said all we can't go out to the we can't go out to the beach
because the cows are dying and I was like oh my God that's
Terrible all I could [think] about was the cows were dying and then him and another guy and another guy they looked at each other
Like she's an idiot like Lisa bleep. What are you talking about like? I was like what you mean, you know
I just took people for face value because I show up as myself
I assume everybody else is that's not the case dear ones. That's not the case not everybody is
as Empathic and as
Trusting and as
Forgiving and as loyal and paths are also
Usually loyal to a fault fault and so not everybody is
An impact and we need to remember that so dear Natasha in Berlin
thank you so much for writing me and for inspiring me to get on YouTube and
without my makeup on
and
Address your amazing clear question. I'm very very happy that you were able to identify the problem
[I] am an empath from Berlin, please explain why I attract [narcissists] and what I can do to protect myself
Thank you for being so clear. Thank you for being so self observing and thank you for serving the light
I bow to the love and the light in you namaste everybody. Bye
you