Have you been wondering how to teach your child to say thank you? Let's get
into that today on our parenting video.
Okay, no surprises Live On Purpose parents. I'm going to start with your own
example. I know. Novel concept right. If we want
our kids to be grateful and to say thank you, what are we modeling for them? Are
you grateful and say thank you? I noticed this recently when we were having a
family dinner. And all my kids are grown now. But one of the kids said something
about "Mom, thanks for making this great meal for us." And Vicki responded by
saying something about, "You know, you guys, your dad has always been so appreciative.
I'm glad he taught you that." And I thought about it. Have I been? Well, I
guess I have. Because my parents bottled that for me too. It's just part of our
culture. And my being grateful and showing appreciation to Vicki helped our
kids to show that same kind of appreciation. So it really gets built
into the family culture that way. Just like a lot of other topics. Parents, let's
look inside first, okay? Let's see how we're handling this. Our kids are going
to pay a lot more attention to what we're doing than what we're saying. So,
that's probably the most powerful thing. We could end the video right here, right?
No. Let's not because there's some other ideas. And one other note really quick
about modeling the gratitude. Be sincere about it. If it's contrived or false or
phony, they're going to see right through that. And it's not going to inspire
anyone. So look internally first. Now, let's expand that to how we treat our
kids. Because a lot of times we look for them to behave themselves or to say
thank you or to be polite. Let's do it for them as well. So not only are we
modeling it in our own behavior, but we're telling them thank you.
Watch for them to do things that that you're hoping
they'll do. Catch them doing the things that you can be grateful for and then
thank them for it. Especially if it's something hard. If they tell the truth,
for example. When it would have been easier for them to lie about it and try
to get away with it. Thank them for telling the truth.
When they are helpful and do something that's even minimally helpful or
contributing to the family culture, thank them for that. Show it to them. Now, let's
get into an aspect of this. That you're probably already familiar with. Maybe
you've done this. I know, I've done this. Let's have a little conversation about
correction or coaching. We've all been there, right? Where something is given to
a child or somebody does something for a child and their parent says, "What do you
say?" And of course they're trying to coach them or prompt them to say thank
you. That's not a terrible practice. I'm not saying that you should stop doing
that. The thing that I want to look at here though is, is it the most helpful
way that we could approach that? I think my preference would be let's see if we
can do that correction in private. One-on-one with the child. So we don't
put them in a position of being ashamed, or embarrassed in front of someone who
is just something done something nice for them. Should they say thank you? Well,
yes. I'm not sure that correcting them in the moment is always the best way to do
it. So you might wait till a little later on. Let's say that you're in the car on
the way home. "Hey sweetie, do you remember when Mr. Hanson gave you that treat? What
would have been a good way to respond to that to help him feel good about giving
you that treat?" See? Now, we can have a conversation in the car about
appreciation and gratitude. And they'll get it. Now, this depends on the
developmental stage of your kids too. But here's another thing that a lot of
us don't think of doing. And it's actually very powerful. Practice with
them. Practice. Do roleplay while you're there in the car, for example. You can say,
"Okay, let's try it. Let's just see how it flows from our lips when we say
that. So, I'll be Mr. Hanson and you be you. And I just gave you that treat. And
then you give him a chance to practice it. Oh, sweetie. That was awesome. Let's do
it again." And you practice it again. "Yes, do you see how it's getting even easier?
And that sounded so natural. Let's do it just one more time." For some reason, 3
seems to be the magic number that we practice something. So as you're doing
this role play with your children, you're giving them affirmations. You're saying,
"Oh, yes. That sounded great." What if you did this and you can do little
adjustments or improvements on the role play itself. That reinforcement and
praise and acknowledgement gives them a positive feeling about what they're
experiencing. And then thank them sincerely for playing that game with you.
I am glad that you are such a conscious parent and that you're working on these
important principles with your kids. It's an honor to be on your parenting team.
Let's invite other conscious parents to join us here on the channel as well.
Would you extend an invitation?