ALL
ALL WEEK
ALL WEEK WE'VE BEEN FOLLOWING A RENTON FATHER WHO HAS A BIRACIAL DAUGHTER.
HE SAYS FLAT OUT HE'S RACIST
BUT HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE HIS
NAME IS STEVE AND HE TURNED TO
OUR FACING RACE TEAM TO ASK
WHAT COULD HE DO?
CHRISTIAN AYRES HAS BEEN
FOLLOWING HIM AND HIS DAUGHTER
AS THEY WORK WITH A RACE
EDUCATOR AND TONIGHT STEVE IS
ABOUT TO PUT ALL THAT HE'S
LEARNED TO THE TEST AS HE TRIES
TO DO SOMETHING THAT MANY OF US
WOULD SHY AWAY FROM.
DID WE GO?
ARE WE GOING?
NO, I'M JUST KIDDING.
IT'S A BIG DEAL THAT THIS
RENTON FAMILY SHOWED UP TODAY.
IF THIS WAS A YEAR AGO,
STEVE RAYMI, HIS WIFE ALEX AND
HIS DAUGHTER CAITLIN MIGHT NOT
HAVE AGREED TO HAVE A HARD
CONVERSATION WITH A RACE
EDUCATOR AS A FAMILY.
GLAD TO SEE YOU ALL ACTUALLY
HERE AS A FAMILY UNIT.
STEVE AND ALEX DON'T EVER TALK
ABOUT BEING WHITE.
CAITLIN RARELY TALKS TO THEM
ABOUT BEING BIRACIAL AND THE
ONLY BLACK PERSON IN HER WHITE
FAMILY.
BUT AFTER NATIONWIDE CALLS FOR
RACIAL JUSTICE, STEVE RECENTLY
ADMITTED SOMETHING NO ONE IN
HIS FAMILY EXPECTED.
I KNOW THAT THAT I'M RACIST AND
I DON'T WANT TO BE I DON'T MEAN
TO BE I'M TRYING NOT TO BE.
WE'VE BEEN FOLLOWING STEVE FOR
MONTHS SINCE HE TOLD US THAT
THIS IS THE LAST OF A SERIES
OF INTENSIVE COUNSELING
SESSIONS WITH RACE EDUCATOR
CARINA HOOKS WHERE STEVE HAS
BEEN LEARNING HOW NOT TO BE
RACIST.
WHAT MAKES YOU NOT THE NORM IS
THAT YOU'RE ADMITTING THAT
YOU'RE A RACIST AND THAT YOU
WANT TO CHANGE.
THAT'S DIFFERENT.
HE'S MADE PROGRESS.
HE REALIZED THE JOKES HE TELLS
ARE RACIST AND ARE HURTING HIS
DAUGHTER.
HOW DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL
UNCOMFORTABLE AND ANGRY AND
THAT GOING THROUGH LIFE
PRETENDING NOT TO SEE CAITLIN'S
COLOR THEN YOU KNOW, SEE HER
EXPERIENCES AND WE GO THROUGH A
PERSON OF COLOR CAN BE MORE
HARMFUL THAN SIMPLY SEEING AND
EMBRACING HER DIFFERENCES.
I USING THAT AS AN EXCUSE TO BE
RACIST I GUESS NOW STEVE TELLS
KORINA HE'S TAKEN ANOTHER BIG
STEP.
HE ATTEMPTED TO DO SOMETHING
HE'S NEVER DONE BEFORE.
TALKED TO CAITLYN ABOUT RACE AT
HOME.
WE'RE TO SITTING THERE IN THE
KITCHEN OR SOMETHING AND I WENT
SO HOW'S IT FEEL TO BE BLACK?
I FEEL SHUT UP.
I SAID SHUT UP.
I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW IT
DIDN'T GO WELL.
THEY CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD.
HE LIKE A WHITE MAN AND I'M A
WOMAN OF COLOR.
HOW IS HE SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE
TO EVER UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL?
WHAT WOULD BE A WAY THAT HE
COULD HAVE ASKED YOU THAT WOULD
HAVE HAD YOUR RESPONSE BE MORE
IN A WAY WHERE YOU FELT LIKE
SHARING IS LIKE HOW ARE YOU
FEELING HERE?
YOU HAVE TO THEN HAVE TO REALLY
SAY HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE
BLACK?
THESE CONVERSATIONS RARELY AND
WELL IN THEIR FAMILY.
CAITLYN SAYS EVERY TIME SHE
TRIES TO TALK ABOUT RACE WITH
STEVE AND HER MOM ALEX LIKE
OVERWHELMED AND SO THEY TURN IT
TURNED INTO FRUSTRATION AND
THEN THEY GET ANGRY AND IS THAT
USUALLY IF IT'S ABOUT RACE OR
JUST IN GENERAL RACE?
KAITLYN TALKED ABOUT HER
DISCOMFORT LAST SESSION IN
FRONT OF STEVE.
I'M VERY CLOSE WITH MY PARENTS
.
SO WHAT WHEN YOU SAY ONE
HUNDRED OR A LOT WE'VE GOT TO
WE'VE GOT TO BRING THAT NUMBER
DOWN.
SO WHY DO YOU FEEL
UNCOMFORTABLE ABOUT I'M JUST
VERY LIKE I LIKE MAKING PEOPLE
LIKE FEEL BAD OR AND YOU KNOW
SO THERE'S A STORY IN HER HEAD
IS THAT WE'RE GOING TO MAKE YOU
KNOW, YOU FEEL BAD AND THAT'S
WHY THEY'VE COME HERE TODAY TO
FIGURE OUT WHY IT'S SO HARD TO
TALK ABOUT RACE AND THEN TO
TALK ABOUT IT ANYWAY.
SO WHAT'S A DEFENSE ABOUT LET'S
UNPACK IT JUST A LITTLE BIT.
I THINK I FEEL THAT MAYBE SHE'S
ATTACKING MY PARENTING SKILLS.
LIKE I SAID, I WAS DOING
EVERYTHING RIGHT.
YOU KNOW, I MEAN AS A PARENT
WHAT IF YOU DID THE BEST YOU
COULD GIVING THE TOOLS AND THE
SKILLS THAT YOU HAD AT THE TIME
?
YEAH, WELL IT MAKES SENSE BUT I
ALSO WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT SHE
WOULD NOT BE WHO SHE IS WITHOUT
YOU.
RIGHT.
YOU. RIGHT. AND I UNDERSTAND THAT AND YOU
ARE CORRECT.
CARINA'S SAYS WHAT THEY'RE
DOING SITTING HERE FINALLY
TALKING ABOUT RACE TAKES
COURAGE.
YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO STICK
YOUR FOOT IN YOUR MOUTH.
A LOT OF PEOPLE WILL SAY LIKE I
DON'T TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE I
DON'T WANT TO SAY THE WRONG
THING BUT I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT
IT THAT TO ME CREATES A LOT
MORE HARM AND DISCOMFORT TO ACT
LIKE IT DOESN'T EXIST.
AND AS LONG AS PEOPLE KEEP
LEANING IN, THERE'S SO MUCH
HOPE IT'S WHEN WE SHUT DOWN
THAT NOTHING'S POSSIBLE TO
START LISTENING TO CAITLYN
WITHOUT GETTING DEFENSIVE IS
GOING TO TAKE MORE TIME,
PATIENCE AND MORE TALKING.
AND KARINA WANTS A COMMITMENT
FAMILY THERAPY FOR ALL THREE
OF THEM WITH A NEW COUNSELOR.
SO I ASKED ALEX IF YOU'RE 100
PERCENT ALL IN AND YOU SAID
YES.
CAITLYN YES.
OK, STEVE YES.
I'M LIKE I I'M SO EXCITED TO
SEE WHERE WHERE EACH OF YOU GO
WITH THAT.
YOU HAVE ALL OF THE RIGHT
INGREDIENTS.
YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO FIGURE
OUT THE RECIPE.
I WOULD LOVE FOR HER TO BE ABLE
TO HAVE OPEN CONVERSATIONS WITH
HER DAD AND FOR THEM TO BE IN A
LOVING RECIPROCAL RELATIONSHIP
ABOUT WHAT IT MEANS TO BRING
OUR OUR BEST SELVES TO EACH
OTHER AND INCLUDES HER
BLACKNESS.
IT INCLUDES HIS WHITENESS.
THERE'S SO MUCH THAT THEY CAN
LEARN FROM EACH OTHER NOW AS
HER FINAL SESSION IS WINDING
DOWN, KARINA HAS ONE LAST
EXERCISE FOR THE FAMILY A POEM
SHE'S HAD THEM EACH WRITE ABOUT
THEMSELVES A CHANCE TO OPEN UP
AND REALLY SEE EACH OTHER.
I AM EMPATHIC AND LOVED.
I UNDERSTAND I HAVE THE ABILITY
TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
I AM BEAUTIFUL AND KIND.
I WONDER WHO I'LL BECOME.
JUST BREATHE THIS BREATHE TAKE
YOUR TIME.
I WANT SELF-LOVE.
I AM VITAPHONE KIND I HOPE FOR
SELF PEACE.
I AM BEAUTIFUL AND KIND.
HMM
ARE
ARE BEAUTIFUL AND KIND AND SO MUCH MORE AND SO THE JOURNEY FOR HEALING IS GOING TO
BE LIFELONG BUT I THINK THAT
THEY'RE MAKING SOME REALLY
GREAT GROUND COVERING SOME
GREAT GROUND.
THEY'VE OPENED UP MORE.
I'M HOPEFUL FOR WHAT
TRANSFORMATION GETS TO TAKE
PLACE.
YOU HEARD THE RACE EDUCATOR
CARINA HOOKS SAY THAT THIS IS
GOING TO BE A LIFELONG JOURNEY.
IT'S ONE THAT THE FAMILY SAYS
THEY ARE COMMITTED TO.
THEY ARE CONTINUING TO SEE A
FAMILY THERAPIST AND THEY'RE
CONTINUING ALSO TO DEVELOP
THEIR RELATIONSHIP WITH KARINA.
THEY'RE MEETING WITH HER ONCE A
MONTH TO TALK ABOUT THEIR
PROGRESS IN SEATTLE.
KRISTEN AYRES, KING 5 NEWS.
KRISTEN, WHAT A POWERFUL STORY.
THANK YOU.
AND IF YOU MISSED ANY
OF STEVE'S STORY, YOU CAN FIND
IT ON OUR WEBSITE.
GO TO ORTING FIVE DOTCOM FACING
RACE AND IF YOU HAVE A STORY
IDEA FOR OUR FACING RACE TEAM,
WRITE TO US.
YOU CAN SEND IT BY EMAIL TO
RACE AT KING 5 DOT COM AND HOW
EXTRAORDINARY THAT THIS FAMILY
WOULD OPEN UP TO ALL OF US AND
SHARE THEIR JOURNEY.
IT'S OVER THE LAST YEAR AND
IT'S JUST HOW HONEST THEY HAVE
BEEN ABLE TO BE.
IT'S BEEN AN AMAZING SERIES TO
WATCH THAT'S FOR SURE.
AND THE FACT THAT THEY SEE EACH
OTHER IN SUCH A DIFFERENT WAY
THAN THEY DID EVEN A YEAR AGO
THE STRIDES THAT THEY'VE MADE.
SO THANK YOU TO THIS FAMILY AND
TO THE RACE EDUCATOR FOR DOING
THIS FOR US FOR SHARING SO
MUCH.
IT'S JUST AMAZING RESONATES
WITH SO MANY PEOPLE SO MANY
FAMILIES MIGHT BE ABLE TO
RELATE EVEN AT HOME WHILE
THEY'RE WATCHING THAT